


The Peace Before The War

by Liulishu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies)
Genre: All Aboard, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feels Train, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, He's actually a sensitive soul, Lots of vulnerability, Realistic Depiction of Levi, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, don't hurt our favorite old man with an obsession for hygiene and tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liulishu/pseuds/Liulishu
Summary: Garrison captain Rosaria joins the team and brings to the table her ability to kick ass, brew tea and bring out a vulnerable side to the stoic and misunderstood corporal Levi. Although Levi tries to save himself the pain of getting close to anyone, he finds that with Rosaria; betraying his true feelings is easier said than done when they understand each other's pain, hurt and drive to continue the fight of their lost loved ones.Hurt/Comfort/Fluff/Eventual SmutLevi x OC / Events take place after Season 3
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Character(s), Levi/Reader
Comments: 51
Kudos: 66





	1. The First New Recruit

Footsteps sound across the hallway as small boots stomp across the wooden floor. A woman with blonde straight hair tied in a high ponytail walks firmly towards the large doors at the end. She stops right before the doors, hands clenched into fists as she breathes a shaky sigh. Her emerald green eyes stop at the doorknob, wondering if she should turn her heels and walk away now. What awaits her behind the wooden doors will change her life forever, and in fact might cause her to die in the coming year.

Yet with that scary thought, she brings her hand to the door and knocks loudly.

“Come in.” A woman says behind the door. She opens the door and walks in, presenting herself ramrod straight as she puts a fist to her chest and her head held high. The military’s salute shows respect for the people before her and to the cause they serve. She eyes the emblem on the forest green long uniform coat on the man and woman before her. Wings of freedom, the emblem of the Scout Regiment. One of the three factions of the military, and the most important faction over the years as humanity’s fate rests on that emblem; or rather, the fate of the Eldians in Paradis Island. 

“State your name and position.” The man speaks sternly. 

“Rosaria Suede, captain of squad three in the Garrison sir!” Rosaria replies quickly and surely. Her eyes linger on the man before her. He has black hair that swept across his eyebrows and an undercut behind. He was noticeably short and sat on the wooden chair calmly, a hand over his piping hot cup of tea as his black eyes pierced Rosaria’s emeralds. This wasn’t the first time Rosaria met humanity’s strongest, but still Rosaria couldn’t help but feel the man before him was an ordinary man. A man just like her who lost friends and comrades to titans. Human. 

“Captain Rosaria. Thank you for making the trip down here. It was short notice for you to come after all.” Hanji speaks with a smile. The older woman has her brown hair in a low ponytail while an eyepatch covers her left eye. Rosaria blinks, biting her lower lip subtly. She has also seen Captain Hange before, but now as she stands before Rosaria as Commander, there is no doubt that she has lost a great many things to be where she was today. 

“It is my honour, Commander Hanji.” Levi sips on his tea. “Tell us, why would you request a transfer to the Scout? I’ve heard from Commander Pixis that given your experience and skills in 3DMG, you were due for a promotion to Corporal next year.” Hanji says. Rosaria looks at Hanji and straightens her back.

“Humanity has just taken back wall Maria from the very titans that broke it five years ago. This has been humanity’s first victory against the titans… but at a great cost. We have lost more than 40% of the population, among them are our family, friends and majority… the comrades we fought beside.” Levi lowers his head, looking down for a brief moment as his mind wanders to the faces of the people he has lost.

“Their deaths allowed for humanity to fight back for the first time… and without a doubt, now is the most crucial time for humanity as we prepare for a war not against the titans that we’ve been fighting all this while - but the humans in Marley who have been our true enemy. I want to fight for humanity, no- Paradis’ humanity. I want to continue the fight the cause my lost comrades sacrificed their lives for. That is why I want to join the Scouts, where I will gladly sacrifice my life for the future it will bring.” Hanji looks up at Rosaria, smiling. Levi looks unamused, leaning back into his chair.

“Looks like we have a replacement for Erwin’s shittiest speeches now” Levi says. There is a distaste in his mouth when Erwin’s name comes out, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Congratulations Rosaria, I hereby accept your transfer to the Scouts. From today onwards, you will be squad captain of squad two and you report to Levi. Although…. As you know we currently only have nine members, and including you that would make ten; so you won’t have any formal members to your squad yet. The plans for the enrollment of new recruits will only start next week unfortunately.” Rosaria nods as Hanji speaks. “Thank you, Commander.” Rosaria says as she puts her fist closer to her chest. 

“Ah, you can just call me Hanji. I’m still not used to the title.” Hanji laughs. Levi finishes his tea and stands from his seat.

“Rosaria, we won’t have time nor the need for a formal welcoming party unlike the Garrison. So pack your things and report to the barracks by noon where introductions to the rest of the Scout and cleaning duties will take place. I will not tolerate tardiness, understood?” Rosaria raises her head up and salutes Levi.

“Yes sir!” Levi nods and walks towards the door with Hanji.

“Wait, cleaning duties sir?”

* * *

Rosaria unpacks the last of her things in her small room of the Scout’s barracks. She lets out a sigh and wipes the sweat off her forehead. She leans against the wall, taking the time to clear her mind. Not long after, a knock sounds at her door.

“Ah yes, come in.” The door opens and reveals a young boy with short blonde hair and curious blue eyes that carried a hidden weight in them. “Captain Rosaria, I’m Armin. I’ve come to show you to the barracks.” Armin smiles. “Ah, it’s nice to meet you Armin. And please just call me Rosaria… I still have a lot to learn from you and everyone else in the Scouts.” Armin nods. The two walk out of the room and towards the main hall.

“As you’ve heard, we only have nine surviving members left in the Scout. I’m one of the new recruits from the 104th.” _Surviving_. The words ring in Rosaria’s head. “Oh wow, you must be very young.” He wasn’t just young, he was too young to be fighting and leading the front lines in an upcoming war. 

“Armin, who’s that?” Jean asks. He has reddish brown hair and a cast on his left arm. “Jean, this is Rosaria. A captain who just transferred from the Garrison to the Scouts.” Jean tenses and immediately salutes with his free arm. “Ah please don’t. You’re injured after all.” Jean nods. “Corporal has asked everyone to gather in the hall. We should get going.” Armin nods and follows Jean. Rosaria enters the main hall where members of the Scout gathered.

Everyone looks at her with confusion but doesn’t say anything. Instead, Rosaria notices that everyone is young, most likely cadets from the 104th just like Armin. 

“Attention you brats, this is your new captain. Rosaria, introduce yourself.” Levi says in a loud and firm voice as he stands in the middle of the room. “Rosaria Suede, former captain of the third squad in the Garrison. I look forward to working with all of you.” Levi nods. “Alright, now that introductions are over, let’s get down to business.” Levi says as he adjusts the cravat on his blouse. Without missing a beat, everyone except Rosaria picks up a cleaning utensil and a bucket. 

“We divide into teams of three. Squad one - Jean, Connie, Sasha. Squad two - Mikasa, Rosaria, Floch. Squad three - Armin, Eren; you’re with me.” Levi says. Armin hesitantly speaks. “Corporal.. Eren isn’t here. He told me he’s resting in his room.” Levi clicks his tongue. Mikasa looks down at her feet, worried. “Well, let’s make quick work and clean up before four-eyes comes back from her meeting.”

* * *

“No good, do it again.” Mikasa says with a neutral expression, examining the spot Floch just cleaned. “What? Really?” Mikasa sighs. “Floch, you haven’t been through what the rest of us has experienced with Corporal’s obsession for hygiene. Believe me, this is not even close to average.” Mikasa replied. “This is ridiculous!” Floch yells, throwing the rag onto the floor. “I didn’t watch hundreds of my comrades march into their deaths at the battle at Shiganshina and be the only survivor to come back and scrub walls!” His yell echoes around the room. Mikasa frowns. “If you don’t like it, you can tell that to Corporal Levi.” 

Floch rolls his eyes. “Corporal and you all let your personal emotions get in the way and let Commander Erwin die. None of you have the right to tell me what’s right and what’s wrong when all you watched as our only hope, Erwin died on that rooftop. Tell me, what happens to the men who sacrificed their lives for Erwin? For this cause? Will Armin be able to ever replace Erwin and save us from Marley?!” Mikasa growled. She looked at Floch with eyes that were ready to kill. As she inched closer to Floch, a hand blocked the both of them. 

“Enough. Stand down Mikasa. And you Floch, go take a breather and come back in ten. You may not like cleaning, but don’t forget your duty as a soldier. If you disobey Corporal’s orders, you are at risk of being sent back home cadet. Is scrubbing the toilet floor such a high price to pay compared to continuing your dead comrades’ fight against Marley?” Floch clicks his tongue and sighs. He leaves the room but is only greeted by Levi’s stone cold grey eyes.

“Corporal….” Floch says.

“Floch, consider yourself lucky that Rosaria has given you a pass. If this repeats again, I will not hesitate to send you back home for disrespecting your commanding officers and disobeying orders, understood?” Levi growled. Floch lowered his head and nodded quietly. He leaves the room, leaving behind the two Ackermans and Rosaria.

“Mikasa, learn to control your anger. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Levi growled, crossing his arms. Mikasa bit her lower lip and glared at Levi. “Floch is a piece of shit, but he has every right to do so. Bear with his words, Mikasa. He’s still your comrade and you will one day have to trust your back to him in combat.” Mikasa nods. 

Rosaria blinks in disbelief. She did not expect Levi to be able to defuse Mikasa so easily. It seems Levi isn’t a corporal in strength only, he’s calm and rational in any given situation. “Rosaria.” Levi calls. “Yes?” Rosaria replies immediately. “You did a good job. We need more people like you in the Scouts instead of young, hot-tempered and wild cadets.” 

* * *

Days went by quickly as everyone prepared for the welcoming of new recruits. Hanji has been busy with travelling to the cadet base and winning fresh cadets to join the Scouts. For the remaining members, the days go by in a blur as we are occupied with kitchen duty in the early morning, and then training in the hot afternoons, cleaning in the evening, then kitchen duty again… then strategy meetings at night. Unlike the garrison where there were dedicated cleaning and kitchen staff due to a large number of people, Rosaria was quite surprised that the Scouts did everything themselves even though they were the strongest of the three military factions.

“Attention!” Levi yells firmly as he stands in front of the row of scouts. Everyone is lined up in a straight line with their fist on their chest, all attention on Levi. “Today we’ll be doing hand-to-hand combat training.” Levi speaks as he walks across the line of scouts. “Although we’ve always been focused on 3DMG training to kill titans, we need to change our combat strategy to kill not only titans but humans as well.” Everyone’s faces grim. Rosaria glances at Eren, noticing just how tired and lifeless the young boy’s eyes looked. “Guns and weapons may be powerful to fight our enemies, but in the situation where you’re unarmed - your fists will be the only weapon you have to survive.” Rosaria nods.

“Everyone find a partner. Engage in hand-to-hand combat as if you’re life was on the line. Whoever is unable to fight or surrenders first, loses the battle.” Everyone nods. “Start.” Levi yells. Mikasa pairs against Sasha, Eren against Jean and the alike. Rosaria was about to approach Armin but Levi calls out her name.

“Rosaria. You’re with me.” Levi speaks. Everyone turns their head in surprise. “I’ve seen everyone’s combat skills except you, Captain. It’s time to show us what you can do.” The cold wind blows against Rosaria’s blonde hair as her emerald eyes look at Levi with a sense of uncertainty. 

The two move to an empty patch on the green field. Ample space away from the other cadets who were already engaged in battle. Levi stands with his arms by his side, his white cravat gently blowing against the wind. Rosaria changes to a combat stance, her hands balled into fists as she puts them beside her cheeks. The two look at each other for a long moment in silence, wondering who will make the first strike. When Levi doesn’t strike, Rosaria goes in for the first attack. She sprints against him, throwing a jab at Levi’s face. He dodges it without breaking a sweat but she continues on with a cross, then a jab, then a cross again but all of her strikes are dodged. Levi narrows his eyes, striking a kick to her face. Rosaria barely manages to catch Levi’s flying leg by the ankle with her hand then quickly shifting her weight and stance as she throws him over her shoulder. 

It’s at this moment that everyone stops to watch the fight between humanity’s strongest and the newest member of the scouts - curious to see if the latter lived up to the title of captain. 

When Levi is sent crashing towards the grass Rosaria uses the opportunity to drop a powerful kick of her leg right down towards Levi’s torso. Just as the impact is about to be made, Levi rolls towards the left, barely avoiding the painful crunch of her boots towards the ground. Levi jumps up, this time being met with a direct kick to his face. As the impact hits, Levi ignores the pain and catches Rosaria’s ankle and this catches her off guard. Levi smirks and easily uses one hand to swing her body in the air and throw her a few feet away onto the ground. 

Connie and Sasha cheer at Levi’s upper hand - watching as Rosaria scrambles to get to her feet as Levi sends a painful kick towards her jaw. Blood spits out of her mouth but Rosaria continues to block Levi’s painful continuous kicks. She closes her eyes as she bites her lip. As levi kicks again, Rosaria rolls over with the leftover strength in her body to dodge it and gets up at the speed of light, sprinting towards Levi as she slams her entire weight into his hard body made of toned muscles. Levi is on his back as Rosaria straddles his hips, immediately throwing a punch at Levi. Levi attempts to block but her punches are quick and aimed at his chiseled jaw, then his throat, then again his jaw -

Mikasa cheers in joy at the sight of Levi coughing up blood.

As Rosaria goes in for another punch, Levi still has the upper hand and throws his entire weight against her. They switch positions, this time Rosaria on the ground as Levi straddles her hips and punches straight across the jaw. Rosaria tries to block the punches but Levi’s left hand is on her wrist, pulling it with his strength to prevent her from blocking. As the punches go on and on - two, four, six, eight… everyone watches in horror, waiting for Rosaria to surrender. Still, her lips do not move despite the bruise already forming with fresh blood dripping down the sides. 

As Levi’s punches start to slow from fatigue, Rosaria shifts her weight slightly and grabs Levi’s right wrist, preventing him from punching her again. Still, Levi continues to strike with his left fist instead. 

“Surrender Rosaria, or you’re going to spend the week in the medic bay.” Levi’s voice sounds more like a warning than concern. He had expected her to surrender by now, but still, she was here fighting. Levi had to say he was a bit impressed. Most of the enemies he fought before would have crumbled and fainted by now, yet Rosaria hadn’t given up just yet. Rosaria, still holding on to Levi’s right wrist manages to gather a surge of strength and pulls Levi’s weight. She directs his hand towards…. A warm place between her legs. The unfamiliar sensation sends Levi into a state of shock - pausing his attacks, and Rosaria smirks as she headbutts into Levi’s forehead. The two stumble in opposite directions, rolling onto the ground. 

Levi is still confused, unsure if it was from the sudden _sensation_ of a woman’s intimate part or from how dirty his captain had fought. Rosaria recovers faster, sprinting towards Levi and wrapping her thighs around his neck, holding him in a chokehold.

“Ughh!” Rosaria yells with all her strength, finding it hard to hold Levi in place as he was obviously stronger. Levi struggles for a while, then finds the strength to pull her thigh away from his neck and throws her to the ground. Rosaria plunges to the ground with a loud sound, too loud to not have left a bruise. With all the strength sucked out of Rosaria, she pants heavily as Levi flips her body over and puts both her hands behind her back. 

“Did you think you could win with a cheap trick using your body, Rosaria? I have to say, I’m impressed. I had the impression you were too noble for dirty tricks like that, brat.” Levi sounded furious. He smirked as Rosaria laid limp with her face against the grass. Rosaria doesn’t say anything, panting as she looked up at Levi with heavy, tired emerald eyes. 

“C-corporal won!” Armin cheers. The entire squad blinks and finally relaxes their body after the tense and bloody match. Mikasa clicks her tongue as if she was hoping to see Levi’s defeat. “Sasha, tend to Rosaria’s wounds. She’ll likely need a few stitches.” Sasha rushes over and helps Rosaria off the ground. 

“Back to training, brats!” Levi’s words are fierce as everyone returns back to their combat positions. 

* * *

Rosaria leans in her bed as she feels sore in every part of her body. She sighs as she looks up at the ceiling. There was no way she would be able to train tomorrow with the number of bruises forming on her body and the stitches she just got on her lips. As she was about to close her eyes, a firm knock sounds on her door. 

“Come in.” She says as she gets up. The door opens slightly, revealing someone she least expected to show. Rosaria immediately salutes, feeling the pain intensify in her ribs. “At ease, Rosaria.” Levi says as he comes into the room. Rosaria relaxes, glancing at Levi. She notices that he’s carrying a tray of with a teapot and two teacups. 

“Sit down. You’ll be on bed rest for the next two days I presume.” Levi orders as he sets the tray down on a table. Rosaria nods, sitting down on the bed. “What’s in the teapot, sir?” Levi pours the content of the teapot into the teacups. The refreshing smell of chamomile lingers in the room as a mild yellow liquid pours into the teacup. “Chamomile tea. It helps relax the mind and body. Something you’ll need after all the bruises you’ve sustained.” He hands a teacup to Rosaria and she holds it in her hand. Levi casually sits in an empty chair, taking one of the teacups in his right hand by holding onto the rim of the cup. He doesn’t say anything, choosing to sip the tea in silence.

Rosaria blinks, unsure of her Corporal’s intentions. She brings the teacup to her nose, smelling the refreshing fragrance of the tea. “Oh, it smells nice.” Rosaria smiles, her eyes meeting the Corporal’s. She takes a sip of the tea and blinks in surprise. “It’s really good! I’ve never had such great tasting tea. The tea leaves are brewed to perfection - not too bitter, not too mild. I-it’s just right!” Rosaria smiles brightly at the teacup.

Levi smiles, watching an excited Rosaria taking a big gulp of the tea.

“Did you brew this yourself?” Levi nods, taking a sip from the teacup. “Teas are my favourite.” Rosaria nods. “Will you teach me to brew this next time, Corporal?” Levi perks up at the odd request. “Why the wish to learn? It’s just tea. Unless you’re particular about the taste of teas like me, most people wouldn’t find the interest to learn.” Rosaria smiles. “So that next time when I get on your bad side, I can bribe you with freshly brewed tea to your liking sir!” 

The answer catches Levi off guard. He wonders just how many times he’s caught off guard by the new Captain already. “Is that how you curry favours with Pixis, Rosaria? It might work on the drunk old man, but it won’t work on me.” Rosaria laughs. “You seem to have an _odd_ way of getting out of trouble, Rosaria. First, you use your body to try to win in combat; and now you’re using tea?” The words make Rosaria spit out her tea as she choked. 

Rosaria coughs, paling as she realizes she just _spat_ on her Corporal. The same Corporal that hates being dirty. “O-oh my god - s-sir, let me clean you up!” Rosaria pales as she uses her handkerchief to wipe Levi’s face. Levi grunts in annoyance as he grabs the handkerchief, wiping his face clean.

“I’ve met a titan obsessed four-eyed freak, a brat who shifted into a seven-meter titan with a death wish, another brat who is obsessed with the former and puts herself and everyone in the danger for it, a food addicted monster who would eat the Scout’s into bankruptcy if it weren’t for me to stop her - but never have I met a brat who outright _seduced_ her commanding officer mid-combat and _spat_ tea at his face.” Levi was undecided if he was annoyed, shocked or somewhere in between.

“I-i’m sorry, sir!”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes:  
> Fun fact, I wrote a Levi x OC fanfiction back in 2013, almost 7 years ago when the first season aired. When the idea came for me to write a short story shining a light on our favourite Corporal as I watched the final season; I thought - hey, why not reuse the name I came up with for that OC I wrote in 2013? I never got to finish that story in 2013, but I definitely see the difference in my writing then and my writing now. If you’re curious, the story was titled “Dream to Reality”.  
> This new story though, I hope to show more of Levi’s vulnerability and the events that I wished happen post-season-three. I want to be able to reveal and dive deep into what makes Levi who he is, and the emotional burden that comes with being Humanity’s strongest. And I hope Rosaria, will be able to share that burden with him too. 
> 
> Please leave a comment and what you thought of this story and I hope to see you in the next!


	2. The Green Cloak

**Chapter 2**

As new recruits start to join the Scouts, it seems life has been poured into the once quiet barracks and HQ of the Scouts Regime. Unlike the time when Rosaria first joined the ranks, months had passed by and it seems the building was always bustling with activity now.

"Aim for the head or the heart, cadet! Your enemy will not go easy on you in a war!" Levi yells as bullets fly all over the range. Paper cutouts of figures stood in rows as lines of fresh cadets shot with pistols in their hands. The sounds of bullets flying across the range are an unfamiliar sound. For what seemed like a lifetime, Rosaria had always been training to fight monsters called titans. Now, she was training to fight humans. Humans with families, friends, comrades and people they love.. Just like her.

Rosaria aimed at the heart of the paper cutout. She pulls the trigger and it goes through right across the heart. There are gasps of amazement coming from the neighbouring cadets.

"More practice and less gaping you shits." Levi yelled. Rosaria looks up to see Levi standing behind her. He is dressed in the standard scouts uniform and a face of boredom across his features.

_Corporal must be bored. He's used to fighting on the front lines and training only his special ops squad. However, with the lack of manpower and upper ranks in the Scouts, Levi has had to join in on the training program for all Scouts as instructed by Hanji._

"Would you like me to prepare a cup of tea, sir?" Levi perks up at the mention of tea. He nods and Rosaria gives a small smile. She hears Levi's continued shouts as she leaves the firing range, finally allowed some fresh air and silence. Rosaria walks towards the office building, already an expert in the directions towards Levi's private office. It's right opposite of Hanji's and next to her's; since Rosaria was now the third highest-ranking member of the Scout, after Levi. She walks into his office and finds an oak cupboard filled with different variants of tea leaves, teapots and teacups. She picks the Jasmine tea leaves and sets it on the counter.

As she boils the pot of water, her mind wanders. There were many duties she needed to oversee as squad captain. She had her own squad now, so that meant she needed to design and train her new squad members to work together as quickly as possible. Aside from her own squad, she was in charge of welcoming new recruits with speeches and a smile; all Levi's idea apparently. She also had to attend strategy meetings for their next steps in preparation for war. And oftentimes, she had to take over Levi's duties on short notice as he was occupied with Eren and Levi Squad.

As the pot squeaks with steam pouring out, Rosaria turns off the fire and pours the contents of the hot, boiling water into the teapot. She adds in two teaspoons of Jasmine leaves and takes out her small watch from her pocket.

" _For Jasmine leaves, it needs to sit for three and a half minutes. Anything longer will result in a bitter taste."_

Rosaria recalls Levi's instructions in her head. After her request to be taught how to make tea, Levi obliged to teach her his passion in all things tea. Now, Rosaria has become the one and only "Levi-approved" tea lady in the whole Scout.

She puts the teapot and teacup onto a tray, holding it carefully as she walks back to the firing range. When she walks through the front doors, she finds Levi standing next to a fresh cadet twice his height.

"Cadet, is it just me or has your aim been shitting itself?" The cadet pales, pistol aimed shakily at the paper cut out miles in front of him. "The only thing you've managed to hit is air, cadet. If this was a real war, you'd be fucking dead by now." The cadet gulps. "I have no use for dead soldiers. Now, fucking listen to my instructions. You aim for the head as carefully as you can, and pull the shitty trigger." Rosaria walks in, hands still steadied on the tray.

The cadet pulls the trigger nervously and three bullets fly. One in the leg of the paper cutout, the second in a stack of hay, and another hits a glass window; a sharp pang erupted in the air as glass shards flew all over. Some glass shard's trajectory ends up directly at Rosaria and she immediately crouches down, guarding herself as the tray topples to the ground.

After moments, Rosaria opens her eyes to find the teapot broken on the ground, its contents leaking. The next moment she hears Levi strangling the poor boy who was easily twice his height. "Cadet, did shit happen to be in your eyes? Because I don't fucking understand how you can _break_ a window instead of aiming for the shitty heart on a paper cutout." Rosaria puts her hands on Levi's shoulder, trying to get him to calm down.

"C-corporal, i-it was a rookie mistake! He's just a cadet!" Levi clicked his tongue and shot a menacing glare at her. "A cadet that could have killed you with his rookie mistake, Captain." Rosaria now had her hands on top of Levi's, where he was shaking and lifting the poor boy up in mid-air, choking him. "C-corporal!" Rosaria hurriedly grabbed Levi's iron grip away from the poor boy's throat, hearing the cadet breathe in desperately. When Levi grunted, Rosaria wrapped her arms around Levi's waist with an iron grip and shifted her entire weight downwards to the ground, making it impossible for Levi to take another step.

"What the hell Rosa-" Rosaria glared at the remaining cadets. "Get him out now! That's an order!" Rosaria yelled, struggling to fight against Levi as he tried to push her weight off him. The cadets scrambled and ran to pick up the poor boy at the speed of light, dragging his body away from the fighting range. When their backs could no longer be seen, Levi's elbow punched into Rosaria's face and she trembled downwards to the ground.

"Try this again Rosaria and you'll be getting more than a bloody nose." Rosaria paled at the threat. When she was warned of Levi's temper, she did not expect it to be worse than the rumours. "S-sir I-" Rosaria's words were cut off when Levi had already stormed out of the firing range. She sighed, looking down at the broken teapot and the cold tea on the ground.

* * *

"What's this I hear, Levi? You choked a cadet and gave your Captain a bloody nose for stopping you?" Hanji frowned as she looked up from her mountain of books. Levi clicked his tongue.

"I didn't _successfully_ choke him and Rosaria deserved the bloody nose because she was opposing her direct commanding officer, Hanji." Hanji shook her head in disappointment. "Are you hearing yourself, Levi? I understand that you haven't gotten used to the new additions to the Scouts, but this is going too far, Levi!" Levi sipped on his tea and grunted. "Don't shit yourself, Hanji. The cadet broke a glass window and almost killed Rosaria. He should be glad I didn't break his bones." Hanji sighed as she took off her glasses.

"What's going on Levi? You've been easily agitated lately." Hanji asked, concern in her voice. Although she was often on the receiving end of Levi's violence, she was still his oldest, _living_ friend and comrade. The two undeniably had a mutual understanding for each other considering the number of people they each lost throughout the years. Levi didn't say anything.

"Are you… horny?" Levi's teacup was thrown directly across the wall as Hanji dodged the attack. The next thing she knows, Levi's hands are on her collar. "It's nothing to be ashamed about, Levi. I mean, studies have shown that men tend to get horny even in their 30s-" Levi yanked Hanji's collar with full force.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, shitty four eyes."

* * *

Levi crossed his arms as he walked across the barracks. The halls were silent and only a few candlelights illuminated the path. He was furious. He couldn't decide if he was madder at Hanji's words or the fact that _two_ sets of teacups were broken today. _Two!_ He was going to have to make a trip to his favourite china supply store in Wall Sina soon.

As he walked down from his private office, he couldn't help but stare into the dimly lit office next to his. Rosaria's office door was closed, but he could tell there was a faint light inside. He clicked his tongue, trying to tell himself to walk away; but somewhere in his heart, he knew he needed to see her tonight and apologise for what happened. He sighed, his heels turning directions. He opened the door without knocking, never bothered for military formalities anyway - but was met with an empty room. Papers were scattered on the desk and a single candle was lit, but no sign of the long-haired captain.

As Levi was about to turn his heel and call it a night, he heard movement from the table. Swiftly, he turned his head but found nothing amiss. He raised an eyebrow. He slowly walked towards the wooden table, already reaching out for his switchblade from his back pocket. Then when he charged forward, he was met with…

A puppy. Black fur covered the small animal with black pupils and short floppy ears. Its paws were big, signs of a big bred dog that had yet to be grown to its full size. Levi cringed, shock in his features. The puppy tilted its head and wagged its tail at Levi, hopping towards the Corporal. Levi dodged like the veteran soldier he was, leaving the puppy to crash into the wall. When Levi was wondering if it was hurt from the impact, it barked at Levi and wagged its tail again.

"Dirty piece of shit- do not follow me!" Levi yelled at the top of his lungs, running and dodging and jumping on furniture to make sure the animal would not _touch_ him. Who knew what kind of dust and dirt it had been rolling on? As Levi started to wonder how a puppy got into military barracks, he heard the door open swiftly.

"Were you hungry bud-...dy….?" Rosaria's chirpy words were cut short when her mouth gaped open like a fish out of water. What greeted her was Levi balancing on top of a stool with one leg and the puppy she was taking care of secretly biting on the leg of the stool. Silence followed for a few seconds before Rosaria casually stepped _back_ towards the door where she came from. As she was about to open the door, a sharp yell erupted.

"Rosaria Suede, stay where you're shitty boots are!" Levi's command was clear. Rosaria paled. Levi jumped towards her and grabbed her by the collar, then pushing her towards the wall with all his force. "Explain, Captain!" Levi's face was only inches away from hers and radiated fury. Rosaria gulped. "C-corporal I-i can explain!" The grip tightened on her collar. Now she knew what Hanji felt like on a daily basis.

"Then explain." His words were sharper and laced with venom. Rosaria opened her mouth to speak but instead, she found herself cringing her nose as she smelt something _weird_. Levi cast his eyes downwards, only to realise the puppy was _urinating_ on Levi's boots. As the only sound of urine was being released from the puppy erupted, Rosaria felt blood rushing to her head as Levi's grip on her collar was now on her throat.

_Oh god, I was going to die._

"C-corporal, don't kill me!" The words seemed to fall on deadpan ears as Levi growled. "You're no use to me in the war if you don't even obey military protocol, Rosaria!" Rosaria could feel light-headed already. She reached her hands out to put on top of Levi's own. "C-corporal, l-let me explain…" Levi growled and let go of his hands. Rosaria gasped and breathed in a pang of fresh air. She looked up to see Levi glaring deathly at her and she smiled nervously.

The puppy jumps into Rosaria's lap, licking her boots. Rosaria looks down at the puppy, smiling. "Corporal, isn't he cute?" Levi scowled. Rosaria patted the puppy's head and looked at Levi. "The puppy was found by one of the recruits a few days ago. Apparently, the mother died. The mother was found with a stab wound." Levi felt a sour aftertaste in his mouth. "And you found it appropriate to break military protocol just because you took pity on an animal? Why don't you take pity on the countless orphans we have who lost their parents to Titans instead? You could open an orphanage instead of joining the Scouts if you're so keen, Rosaria." Levi's words were harsher than usual, even he could admit that. Yet, Rosaria didn't seem to be particularly bothered. "You're right, we live in a cruel world.. Corporal." She reached into her pocket. "But I believe that just because we live in one, it doesn't mean we can't try and make it a little bit better. I might not be able to open an orphanage or save orphans, Corporal…." Rosaria stared into Levi's eyes.

"But I won't ignore people who are in need of help when I can give it to them. Even if it's just an animal." Levi found confidence and determination in his subordinate's words. Rosaria had always seemed like the perfect Captain - calm, calculated, a peace-maker; someone who could dissolve his fiery temper. Now he saw a different side of her - a woman who would protect the things and people that meant to her, even if it would cost her life.

"I know full well what military protocol is, Corporal. I wasn't planning to keep it a secret from you… at least not forever anyway. I was just trying to finish "this" so that it would keep him warm in the coming winter." Levi raised an eyebrow at the words. Rosaria pulled out a piece of green fabric from her pocket, tying it around the puppy's neck as it bit and nibbled on Rosaria's fingers. The green fabric was a miniature version of the green cloak the Scouts wore, even down to the insignia with the wings of freedom. She then held the puppy in her hands and lifted it up to Levi's line of vision with the biggest, brightest smile. The puppy looked like it could _fly_ with the green cloak on its back. Levi's eyes widened.

" _Levi-Aniki! The bird flew!"_

Isabel appeared in his memories. It was a small opening in Wall Sina that they had to pay just to cross the stairs and let Isabel free the damn bird. Levi could still see the image in his head, a beautiful cloudy blue sky - a view the three of them wished they could see every day. An image of what felt like lightyears ago reappeared in Levi's memories. A time when things were so much simpler. A time when Levi only had to worry about escaping MPs and earning enough cash to get by. A time when he still had the people he cared about in this world. Recently, the memories of his past kept creaking into his mind. Isabel, Farlan, Gunther, Oluo, Eld, Petra, Mike, Nanaba… Erwin. It was the reason why he was so on edge lately. Why he seemed to be having trouble keeping his temper in check. It's been almost a year since the original Squad Levi's death - yet Levi found himself all alone, buried in mountains of corpses, guilt and pain.

_Will their deaths have meaning?_

The puppy licked Levi's nose with an innocent smile. Rosaria expected Levi to choke her again but instead, he stood there, quiet, powerless - as if he was lost in another world. "Corporal?" Rosaria asked, confused and concerned. Levi didn't say anything, only looking down at the small puppy. When Rosaria was about to speak, Levi smiled. A smile so genuine, so real - something she never thought was possible on the Corporal's face.

_A tiny runt wearing the cloak of wings of freedom. If only Erwin could see it today._

Rosaria blinked, then slowly smiling at the Corporal. Levi smiled, shaking his head. "Rosaria." Levi's voice came. "Clean up the mess this runt made. And my boots. I want to see them sparkling clean first thing in the morning." Rosaria saluted. "Yes, sir!" Levi looked back down at the puppy, now biting on his shoelaces. "And the puppy...sir?" Levi sighed. "You may keep it in the stables for now. It'll be hard for a puppy this small to survive in winter." Rosaria's eyes lit up like a child. She gasped and grabbed Levi by the shoulders, crushing him into an embrace. Levi tensed, his arms in mid-air. The younger woman was slightly taller and she had to bend slightly to get down to Levi's height.

"Thank you, Corporal!"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes:
> 
> I personally think Levi is a dog person and secretly fed dogs in the Underground whenever he could. Not gonna lie, I get emotional just thinking about how the deaths of his closest friends have impacted Levi. I know it seems a bit slow and boring, but I'm hoping to build more of a friendship with Rosaria before any of the steamy romance scenes come in :)
> 
> As always, please leave a review!


	3. The First Winter

**Chapter 3**

The chilly Autumn air changes into cold droplets of snow. Winter arrives as the fields of the Scouts HQ are now stained a pure white with thick layers of snow covering every inch of it. Levi lets out a chilly breath as he walks past the empty hallways in the early rays of sunrise. It's far too early and too cold for anyone to be up, but Levi would never let cold weather stop him from waking up early and missing his morning workout.

He's dressed in a thick pair of wool sweatpants and a cotton long-sleeved top that he usually wore on his off days. As he puts his hands into the pockets of his pants, his ears perk up at the sound of flesh against a punching bag. He raises an eyebrow, light footsteps as he treads towards the training grounds. He glances through the open window to find a familiar figure in the corner of the empty training grounds.

Rosaria pants as she grunts, punching continuously on the red punching bag. She's wearing a black tank and long sweatpants, a sheen of sweat all over her pale skin. She has bandages wrapped around her knuckles, but Levi can make out the bruises and chapped skin on her delicate knuckles already. Rosaria steps backwards, eyes tired and bloodshot. When Levi expects her to stop and rest, she instead sprints forward and lands a dangerous spinning kick, the flesh of her leg slapping loudly against the punching bag.

"Did the punching bag steal your rations, Rosaria? You look like you're about to murder the shitty thing." Levi's voice perks up, his arms crossed over his chest as he let out a chilly breath. Rosaria jumps in her feet. She turns her head to meet cold, steely grey eyes. "C-corporal!" Rosaria greets. Levi walks over with a raised eyebrow. "Ease up on the punching bag, Rosaria. Do you know how much it costs to replace one?" Rosaria licked her lips.

"I-i'm sorry, sir…." Rosaria's tired eyes trail the Corporal's form. Her eyes stop at his chest and her words are stuck in her throat. Levi raises an eyebrow. "You look constipated, Rosaria. Been swiping your vegetables during dinner, have you?" Levi expected to see a flustered Rosaria stumbling for words, but instead, she just stares at him with an intense ferocity he couldn't explain. "Corporal… Would you like to spar with me?" Levi blinks in amusement.

Levi takes a look at his subordinate and it seems she was eager to get her ass handed to her. Before Levi could respond, Rosaria took a deep breath and changed into a defensive stance. Levi smirked. Since when was the last time someone challenged him to a fight? Levi thinks back to the day Rosaria joined and the hand-to-hand combat that ensued. If anything, Levi was looking forward to another round with her.

"Sounds like you're out for blood, Rosaria. Military training not satisfactory enough for you?" Levi asks as he pulls his top over his head, revealing lines of taut muscles and abs evident from decades of harsh training. Levi folds the shirt carefully, putting it onto the bench by the side. Rosaria glances at the show of bare skin on Levi for a moment. Levi smirks, sprinting towards her with a flying kick. Rosaria barely dodges, emerald eyes glaring at the Corporal.

"Eyes on your enemy, Rosaria. You can't be swayed by a pair of abs in war." Levi smirks and Rosaria returns an equally amused smirk. "The last time I checked, you were pretty swayed by the touch of my womanhood too... _Corporal._ " Levi lets out a low laugh. The two glared at each other like animals hunting their prey, excitement coursing through their veins at the thought of a luxurious dinner.

Levi sprints first, hands balled into fists.

* * *

Rosaria lays on the ground, panting heavily. She stares at the ceiling, head and body heavy. She hears Levi panting as he sits down on the ground, hands holding his weight as sweat rolled down his chest, then his abs and disappearing into the waistband of his slacks. "Feeling better?" Levi asks, glancing down at Rosaria. Rosaria blinks, confused. "How did you…." Levi passes a glass of water to her without glancing. She takes the glass with a nod and gulps the water greedily down her throat.

"The chapped skin and dried blood on your knuckles say it all, Captain." Rosaria looks down at her own knuckles. "Sounds like you needed an outlet for all the anger." Levi gulped down his own glass of water and stared outside the window. He too understood the need for _pain_ to numb his feelings out. Rosaria looked up at Levi and gulped. Without knowing it, Rosaria's mouth opens and words pour out of it.

"Whenever winter comes, I'm reminded of my lover." Rosaria stares out the window now, eyes staring into the cold abyss. "He was my first love." Levi didn't look at her, sipping on his glass of water. "We met as recruits in the military… We were so young and in love." Rosaria smiles at the small memory of holding hands with a brown-haired boy outside a snowy cabin. "We joined the Garrison together after graduating and just when we thought we'd have our happily ever after…. The colossal titan came." Rosaria's eyes turned a dull, lifeless green. "He died protecting civilians in Wall Maria." Levi sighed quietly. "Whenever winter comes, I'm reminded of the treasured memories that I cannot go back too. It's strange really…. It's been so many years. But why does it still hurt?" Rosaria laughs to herself.

"How do you do it, Corporal?" Levi raises an eyebrow as he looks at her. Her emerald eyes were tired, bloodshot - most likely from not getting an ounce of sleep last night. "How do you _live_ …. Knowing you've been left behind by the people you love?" Rosaria looks into cold grey eyes for a long while, and for a second - she sees something _shift_ in them.

Levi grunts, resting his hand on his knee. "I'm still searching for the answer too, Rosaria." The answer catches Rosaria off guard. She expected some kind of a fancy speech prepared that the Corporal would use to lift the spirits of his subordinates after witnessing the deaths of their comrades in a titan's mouth. Yet, his answer was as human as her question.

Rosaria gulps as she lets out a shaky breath.

_He's lost so many people. So many good friends, comrades, innocent men and women who swore to serve. Levi Ackerman is humanity's strongest…._

Rosaria let out a single tear as she smiled at Levi.

… but he too was only human. And he too feels grief, pain and loss. He wasn't the cold, heartless, and emotionless soldier everyone envisioned in their heads. He was a battle-worn human, tired of fighting, tired of losing the people he loved. He kept his distance from people, afraid of attachment, afraid of feeling the same pain he goes through time and time again - when he loses them. He had succumbed to this life - the life of a soldier, a pawn in a war he never chose to fight, to be alone for the rest of his life… until it was time for him to die and follow in his lost loved ones' footsteps. But until then - he goes on and on, vowing to continue the fight his loved ones sacrificed their lives for; and someday…. Hope to reunite with them at the end of the road when his time is up.

"Corporal." Rosaria squeaked out. She looks into cold grey eyes that mirrored her own eyes. "I'll always be by your side." Levi's eyes widen. "I'll always be by your side… until the day comes for you to reunite with them." Levi's mouth opened in shock, unsure at how to process the words. "So until then… I'll stick to you with your favourite cup of tea waiting in hand."

Levi smiles. Maybe for the first time in a long time, he enjoyed having someone's company for once.

* * *

Levi sat in his office, feet planted on top of the wooden table as his boots gave a squeak against the surface. He leaned against the soft material of his armchair, staring up at the ceiling above him. He had many things to think about - new combat strategies and manoeuvres with the modified 3DMG gear they had now, preparations for their upcoming expedition beyond the walls - one that would head towards this so-called ocean, where Marley would be opposite of it, Eren's increasing insubordination and the look of _hopelessness_ he was starting to have in his once bright, life-filled green eyes.

It scared something in Levi, the way that Eren Yeager was slowly detaching himself from the very few loved ones he had… and was keeping things to himself and acting alone instead of asking for his comrades' help. What happened to the kid who kept rushing into battle eager to die, who yelled "I'll eradicate this world of titans!" with a wicked grin on his face, the kid who reminded him of Isabel in certain ways. Where had that kid gone to? Had discovering the truth left behind by his father really changed Eren for the worse?

"Corporal, you have wrinkles underneath your eyes…." Levi turned his head, staring into curious emerald green eyes who was too close for comfort. Levi flinched, then slammed a fist down Rosaria's skull as she dropped to the ground. "Rosaria, did you fail military training? Where are your shitty manners when you can't even knock before entering your commanding officer's office?" Levi growled. Rosaria shook her head in pain before smiling. "I knocked Corporal… but you were so deep in thought that you didn't hear me enter." Levi clicked his tongue.

"State your business, Rosaria. I don't have all the shitty time in the world to listen to you talk about cooking and puppies." Rosaria held a box in front of her and placed it before Levi. Levi raises an eyebrow, confused. "Open it." Levi proceeds to open the box and takes out the contents of it… revealing a beautiful white china teapot with small, intricate birds by the side. "This is….."

"I asked Hanji where you always got your china teapots and she told me about the shop in Wall Sina. Since you broke two sets of it recently, I'm sure you were intending to get a new one soon so I wanted to give you one as a surprise." Levi was impressed. He was indeed going to stop by the china shop by the end of the week. "Currying favours with your commanding officer again, Rosaria? Unfortunately for you, I only look at performance as the measurement for your promotion." Still, Levi made no move to return the gift. He quietly examined the teapot, squinting his eyes to appreciate every fine detail on it.

"Well, do you like it, Corporal?" Rosaria's large eyes glared expectantly at Levi. Levi blinked, knowing full well what those eyes were waiting for. Levi moved his hand upwards to Rosaria's head and ruffled her blonde hair. His calloused hand rested on the crown of her skull, gently stroking her long blonde hair. "You did good, Rosaria." Rosaria slightly blushed as she looked up at Levi. She was expecting him to click his tongue or ask if she was constipated again… not _this._

"Thank you." Levi said, slowly pulling his hand away. He had a small smile on his face and Rosaria watched his hand pull away in silence. "Do you want tea, Corporal?" Rosaria asked. Levi nodded as he started taking out papers from his drawers. "The weather is quite cold today… Earl grey then?" Levi nodded again.

"I'll be back shortly, sir." Rosaria said, picking up the new teapot in her hands carefully. Levi gave her a quick glance and picked up a pen, focused on his paperwork. Rosaria closes the door to his office and leans against it, taking a sharp breath. She bit her lip and covered her eyes with the back of her palm as her cheeks turned red.

* * *

"Hanji, do we really have to do this?" Connie asked, shivering in the cold. Sasha groaned as she held her heavy backpack. "Is it supper yet? I'm hungry…" Jean clicked his tongue. "We just ate 15 minutes ago, Sasha!" Jean yelled. "Sasha… did you steal my ratios?" Mikasa growled as she glared at the girl. "Mikasa, let's not fight…" Armin said.

"Oi, brats. Is this how you behave just because we're not surrounded by enemies?" Levi raised an eyebrow. Everyone turned and focused their attention on Levi. As Levi was about to speak, a lick on his cheek made him jump.

"S-sorry… Corporal." Rosaria laughed as she held the familiar puppy in her hands. Instead, the puppy was an almost full-grown husky with a thick coat of black fur and sharp blue eyes. Levi growled, ready to pounce on Rosaria. "Now everyone, let's do a final check and make sure we have everything." Hanji said, putting a strong hand on Levi's shoulder to make sure he wouldn't attack anyone.

"Should we be bringing this?" Eren pointed at the dog in Rosaria's arms. Rosaria glared at Eren. "This." Rosaria pointed at the dog, "Is a member of the Scouts, Eren!" Eren raised an eyebrow as he looked at the green cloak on the dog's back. "He even knows how to salute." Rosaria held the dog's paw in her hand. "Sacrifice your heart, cadet!" Rosaria yelled and lifted the dog's paw to its chest. Hanji and Connie laughed.

"We are not bringing an animal with us to hike while it's freaking snowing." Levi growled. Rosaria scowled. "Huskies are masters in the winter! Their noses are superior and can easily dig through the snow! Clearly, it's an advantage…" Levi rolled his eyes. "Don't make me repeat myself, Rosaria." Rosaria grunted, crossing her arms over her thick coat. "Then, surely I can throw your tea leaves and teapot down the cliff? No matter how you look at it, a dog could at least serve as meat to ease my hunger as compared to dried leaves… sir." Rosaria threatened. She had never really outright challenged Levi and said anything that would compromise his authority other than a few smart teasing remarks in their fights, but Rosaria was not ready to back down when it came to her puppy just yet. Levi's features darkened as he reached for his 3DMG gear by his thigh. For a second, Levi wondered if he would slice Rosaria's neck just like how he would to a tian.

"Did someone say meat?" Sasha growled as she drooled. Hanji sighed. "Alright, let's head out. No more fighting." Hanji yelled as she gathered her own set of equipment and set foot onto the snowy slope. "Rosaria, you're taking care of the dog." Rosaria smiled. "Thank you Hanji!" Levi clicked his tongue. "Alright, let's stay close."

Easily an hour had passed and they hiked further and further towards the snowy terrain. It was cold and everyone panted as they made their way up with careful use of the 3DMG gear. "Reserve your gas. We still need to make the trip back down, brats." Levi called out. If the slope was walkable, they'd lower down their gear and walk instead against the snowy weather. "God, it's so cold." Jean yelled as he hugged himself. "I don't think it was even this cold when we hiked that time back in the 104th." Connie said through freezing teeth. "It feels like it was so long ago… Daz almost died if it weren't for Historia and Ymir…" Armin says as he lets out a chilly breath.

"Who would have guessed years later Historia would become queen and Ymir…." Jean's words seem to die down. Eren's eyes continued to sink further down his boots. There was once a time when all of them were young, naive brats in the 104th, focused on trying to improve their scores and being able to get into the MP. Now, Eren wonders what he would give to turn back time… being able to spend time with his friends and comrades without knowing what the future of the world looked like.

"You brats talk too much. The whole point of this mission is to increase your endurance and stamina in preparation for the war. Who knows what awaits us beyond the walls?" Levi yelled. Sasha moved her nostrils as she sniffed the air. She blinks, holding her hand up. "What is it, Sasha… It's not supper yet." Mikasa sighed. Sasha paled, looking back at her comrades. "Something's approaching us." Everyone goes on high alert. Levi adjusts the straps of his gear and tightens his grip on his blades. "What is it, Sasha?" Sasha squints her eyes. "A fox? A big fox…? I don't know…" Sasha said, sweat sliding down her forehead. Suddenly, the dog by Rosaria's side barks loudly, snarling its teeth as if a predator was approaching.

Everyone goes into a defensive stance, unsure of what to expect. If it were a titan, they'd be less fearful…. But this, they had no idea what to expect. As seconds pass, a bark echoes in the air as suddenly a loud growl erupts. Levi and everyone else pulls their blades out, ready to swing in a moment's notice. Without missing a beat, a large creature jumps out and rushes towards Rosaria. She blocks the sharp claws of the creature with her blades, holding them out in an X. She grunts, widening her stance at the overwhelming strength.

_Luckily we came equipped with our 3DMG._

"It's a bear!" Sasha yelled, pointing her blades at the bear from a safe distance. Rosaria grunts as she dashes towards the right, barely avoiding the bear's sharp teeth as she hits the soft snow on the ground. "Blades up, brats. We're taking it down now!" Levi's orders are loud and clear. Eren gazes at the large bear, easily twice his height and size; and pulls his own blades out. The bear charges at Eren, eyes glinting and fangs sharp. Jean comes out from behind, swinging his blade right across the bear's back, earning a loud snarl of pain from it.

"Hah! This is nothing compared to fighting a titan." Jean proudly proclaimed. The bear turns and snarls, a weird, high-pitched sound releasing from its throat. "Something's coming!" Sasha's voice dies out when several movements could be heard behind the thick, snow-covered trees. Two slightly smaller sized bears come dashing out of the trees, attacking Mikasa and Armin. Both manage to dodge their attacks just in time.

Levi grunts as he tightens his grip on the bear. "There's too many of them and the space is too narrow and small!" Hanji yells, looking behind her to see the cliff inches away from her snow-covered boots. "Split into teams of three and lure a bear each out of range until it's safe to kill it!" Levi yells. "Yes, sir!"

"C'mon you tiny bastard! You're nothing compared to a titan!" Connie says, teasing one bear as he dangled mid-air with the use of his 3DMG. "Connie, lure it this way!" Sasha yells, pointing towards a direction with Jean. "H-hanji-san!" Armin yelled, concerned as Hanji stood in front one of the bears and dangled a ration bar in her hand dangerously. "C'mon~ I'm sure you'd like a taste of my meat!" Hanji yelled with a laugh as the bear growled, clawing in thin air as Hanji jumped backwards with her gear.

"I'm sure you'd taste as shitty as your shit brain, four-eyes." Levi grunted, luring the last bear into the trees. "Sir, your orders?" Rosaria asked. Levi glanced at her and clicked his tongue. "Think of this as your first expedition, Rosaria. Show me all you got." Rosaria nodded, pulling the trigger of her gear as she followed Levi's pace into the icy, cold woods. The bear followed them swiftly behind, growling and snarling. Once they were far enough into the dense woods with no sign of the others, Levi glanced at Rosaria.

"Finish the job." Rosaria nodded as she planted herself firmly in a branch of one of the tall trees, looking down at her prey. As the bear sniffs around for their scent, it approaches closer and Rosaria shoots her grapple, flying towards the bear and catching it off guard. She lifts her blade and swings it as she performs a flip mid-air, then returning to another branch as she heard the pained growl of the animal. As she looks down from above, the red blood stains the pure white snow almost immediately. It was a clean-cut, and precise enough for there to be no struggle and pain for her victim.

"Ah…." Rosaria says in a low voice. "I didn't realise I was waiting for the steam… I forgot this wasn't a titan." She lets out a chilly breath, looking down with cold emerald grey eyes. Levi watches in silence as he hears every word of it. He expected the ex-Garrison Captain to be inexperienced in titan kills, but apparently he was wrong.

"Corporal. Shall we return?" Rosaria's voice snaps Levi out of his thoughts. "We should. Check if-" Levi's words are cut short when a sudden breeze of cold comes towards their direction. Their lines and grapples swing and waver dangerously in the fast and scary speed of the wind and they both immediately lower towards the ground to prevent from being thrown off the cliff. "Rosaria!" Levi yells, calling out to her as he shielded his eyes from the rapid snow blizzard. Rosaria reaches out her hand while shielding her own eyes. Damn, how did the weather suddenly make a turn for the worse?

Levi catches her hand in his own gloved one and the two lock fingers as Levi pulls her weight. They sprint towards the north as their boots dug into the thick layers of snow, desperately trying to escape the snow blizzard. After what seemed like an hour, the two panted as they shivered in the cold snow. Their lips were turning blue and it was too dangerous to use 3DMG. Levi opened his canister and turned it upside down, finding that the water inside had frozen solid.

"Great... No water… and we're stuck in the middle of nowhere." Rosaria said in a small voice, too cold to speak normally. "We still have our rations and equipment… If only we could find some place safe for shelter and fire…" As Levi whispered, a bark echoed. "Oh. Is that you buddy?" Rosaria crouched down, looking at the source of the voice. The familiar black puppy wagged its tails and barked at Rosaria with a grin. "Great. It really did follow us all the way here." Levi rolled his eyes. "Oh, I think it's asking us to follow him." Rosaria followed the dog, letting out a chilly breath as she adjusted her gear.

"Oi, Rosaria!" Corporal yelled. "Corporal, I'll follow him and see what he wants…" Rosaria's voice was getting further and further away in the blizzard and Levi clicked his tongue. He sprinted lightly towards her direction, hearing for the sound of her boots against the snow. "C-corporal!" Rosaria's yell is loud and alarmed. Levi's alarmed, quickly running towards her against the blizzard. "Rosaria! Where are you?!" Levi yells.

He's mind is running in different scenarios. Was there another bear? Did she fall off a cliff? Goddamn it, he shouldn't have let her out of his sight. "Corporal!" Her yell is louder, closer; but Levi's heart still beats fast from the adrenaline and worry. He reaches a different part of the forest, seeing a clearer landscape. He swiftly takes out his blades, jumping as he turns a corner-

…. To find a small abandoned cabin.

"What's going on?" Levi grunts, looking down to see Rosaria patting the puppy's head. "It's a cabin, sir. Seems abandoned. I've done a quick perimeter check, no one seems to be around." Levi clicks his tongue.

_And here I was, worried that you might have died._

"It's all thanks to you, buddy!" Rosaria cooed, giving a belly rub to the dog. "Looks like that runt finally had some use after all the free meals he's gotten." Levi sighs, crouching down to pat the dog too. "Let's check the inside, and…." Rosaria stands up, looking back at Levi.

"Don't stay out of my sight, Rosaria."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone else just watched Episode 8 of S4 and just bawl their eyes out? I know I did ;( As always, please leave a review!


	4. The Garden

**Chapter 4**

"All clear, sir." Rosaria says, inspecting the last of the perimeter inside the cabin. She turned to see Levi, disgusted at the dust and mould on the surface of the wall. "There's no sign of the blizzard getting better. We should just camp here for the night. It's getting darker too…" Levi sighs. He scans the cabin, finding a small pot by the side and a few dirty cups and bowls. By the corner was a single sheet of a blanket - too thin to provide adequate warmth in the cold, harsh weather; but still, the place was enough for them to survive for a night.

"I'll go find branches suitable for firewood." Levi said, putting down his heavy backpack. "You'll unpack the supplies." Rosaria nods, getting to work.

* * *

"Wow… this is warm." Rosaria smiled as she reached her hands out around the small fireplace. Levi came back with wood and made a small fire with just a few tricks of rubbing the sticks together and some matches. Rosaria placed their canister of water into the pot and waited for the heat to melt the ice into drinkable water. Then she poured the water into the pot and added the black tea leaves into the small teapot Corporal had brought along.

"Looks like your teapot and tea leaves did come in handy, Corporal." Rosaria smirked, pouring the boiled water into the teapot. Levi smirked, watching as steam emitted from the pot. Levi took off his boots and coats and hung them on a makeshift line with the rope they brought. Their clothes were wet and cold from the snow and clung to their skin uncomfortably. Levi really had to put in a word with Hanji on making their uniforms more weather resistant next time.

"Corporal, here." Rosaria handed a ration bar to Levi from her backpack. Levi takes it and pats Rosaria's head. Rosaria blinks, quietly observing the Corporal. "Once you're done eating, hang your clothes on the line. The fire should help to dry them out before we leave during sunrise." Levi says.

After their brief meal, Rosaria hung her coat and gloves on the makeshift line. She was now left with her standard uniform - a white long-sleeved blouse and the matching military trousers. Levi sat down in the corner of the room as he placed the two cups of hot tea by his side. "Here." Rosaria accepted the cup of tea as she sat next to him, hugging her knees. "Damn, it's freezing cold." Levi threw the thin blanket over her head.

"Aren't you cold?" Levi laughed. "The sound of your teeth clattering is loud enough to scare bears, Rosaria. Don't be a brat and take it." Rosaria blushed as she pouted. She nestled next to Levi, their shoulders touching. "What are you-" Rosaria draped the blanket over the both of them and turned to look at Levi.

"We can share, Corporal." Levi glanced at her. "You're small so you probably have less body heat to fend the cold." Levi snarled at Rosaria who laughed at his reaction. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, brat?" Rosaria laughs, leaning into Levi further as her body begged for the small warmth radiating from him. "I'm only a few years younger than you, Corporal. You can't call me a brat." "Five years younger is still a brat in my eyes, Rosaria." Rosaria laughed.

The two sat in silence and sipped on their tea as they leaned against each other for a long while until Levi spoke. "When was your first titan kill?" Rosaria had thought she must have heard wrong until Levi looked at her. "When…. Wall Maria was breached. I was on the front lines of the Garrison with my….." Rosaria kept her gaze at the ceiling. Memories of that day come flushing towards.

"I told you I had a lover who died that day… right? Protecting civilians." Levi watched her face in silence. "He was protecting two kids, siblings. As he lured the eight-meter titan away, I took the kids away and flew them to safety. When I came back, I saw him being bitten in half in the mouth of that titan." Rosaria clenched her fists. "I remember my mind went blank as tears fell down my face and I looked into those giant titan eyes and it reached its giant fingers out to me with a smile on its face. I remember thinking… "Is this what hell looks like?". Corpses were everywhere. Blood dripping at every nook and cranny. People yelling, begging for their lives as the sound of meat and bones crunched." Levi felt his own fists tighten as he looked down at his own feet.

"Before I knew it, I had killed that titan. I don't remember how. An eight-meter shouldn't have been an easy solo kill for a novice like me…" Rosaria blinks and lets out a breath she didn't know she held. "What about you, Corporal? What was your… first kill like?" Levi's eyes darken as if something was dying on the inside. He leans back, letting his shoulder touch against hers. He can remember the day he lost Isabel and Farlan as clear as daylight. It was their first expedition outside the walls. The sky he saw that day… was clear and blue and painted with white fluffy clouds. That picturesque view was forever stitched into his mind, a view so free and beautiful unlike life in the underground.

Then everything changed when it started raining. Rain and mist blurred their vision and combat skills. When he went back for them, he had already found Isabel's severed head on the ground and Farlan's half chipped body in the titan's mouth. It was at this moment, he felt immeasurable pain in his chest and knew life would never mean the same. The decision he made to believe in his friends, ended up leading them to their deaths. Would things have been different… if he chose a different decision?

"Levi…." A hand on his shoulder knocks Levi out of his thoughts. Rosaria looks at him with concern. How long had he been quiet? Rosaria shifted her weight and rested her head on Levi's chest, hearing his soft heartbeat. She wraps the blanket securely around Levi, brushing against Levi's fingers. She gently strokes Levi's back in small circles, feeling the bumps and calluses of various scars through his blouse. Levi relaxes, tightening his arms around her slightly.

"You're warm, Levi…" Rosaria whispers as she closes her eyes and continues stroking his back. Levi wraps his arms around her, letting each other's warmth radiate together. Rosaria buries her head deeper into Levi's chest and lets out a chilly breath. She can hear his steady heartbeat through his chest and gently closes her eyelids shut. Levi felt his eyes itching to close, fatigue taking its toll on him after the events of the day.

The two drift into a soft sleep as they hold each other in their arms.

* * *

When the first signs of dawn broke, Levi stirred from his sleep and looked up. The first thing he noticed was hore _sore_ he felt - his butt and lower body stiff against the freezing cold concrete. Then he felt the heavy _weight_ on his chest as if a rock had been placed on his chest for the entire night. When Levi fully awakens, he's greeted by a head of blonde hair and an unfamiliar weight of a skull on his chest. At first, Levi imagines he is dreaming, but then it's too _cold_ for it to be a dream and he suddenly remembers the events that transpired last night.

Levi looks down, his grey eyes glancing softly at the sleeping face of the woman in his embrace. They were still in the same seating position as yesterday, leaning against the wall and the thin blanket wrapped around the both of them. Levi notices how long Rosaria's eyelashes are and wonders for the first time in his life if a woman's eyelashes were usually this long. It's at this moment that Levi realizes just how much of a pervert he currently is and forces that thought away from his head.

Still, he can't help but rest his hands on the curve of her back, feeling a slight warmth she was emitting and that it was his natural _instinct_ to survive and combat the freezing weather instead. Rosaria stirs in her sleep, not even the slightest suspicion of Levi's current actions. Levi sighs, silently wondering what he had brought himself into. There was no doubt that his _friendship_ with Rosaria was closer than his usual definition of a work colleague. He wasn't even this _vulnerable_ with his subordinates in the original squad Levi, where he had spent easily more than five years of his daily life with.

Had something changed in him? Had losing his entire squad and finding out the truth behind the world of Paradis invite vulnerability? As Levi rested his hand against Rosaria's back, drawing slow soothing circles absent-mindedly, Levi's eyes glazed over with regret.

_She will eventually die just like everyone else. Are you ready to endure that pain again?_

"Corporal?" A gentle sleepy voice calls out. It brings him out of his thoughts and Levi meets half-lidded sleepy emerald eyes. "You're drooling, brat." Levi pushes her head off his chest and Rosaria blinks, still not registering his words. As Levi stands up, he feels his entire body aching from the bad position of sleep and grunts. Rosaria lets out a yawn as she looks at Levi confused, barely remembering that she slept in the arms of her commanding officer.

"Damn… It's freezing cold." Rosaria says to herself, using her hands to warm herself. Levi throws the thin blanket towards her. "You're awfully unalert of your surroundings, Rosaria. If this were a real war, you'd be dead by now." Rosaria blinks, standing up as she inspected her surroundings. It's as this moment she starts to clear her head, remembering the events of yesterday.

"Ah… did I do something inappropriate in my sleep, corporal?" Levi grunted lowly. "Pack your things and get ready, we're leaving in fifteen."

When Levi. Rosaria and their unnamed puppy had left the cabin, the blizzard had subsided and there was clear weather for the use of 3DMG. In an hour, they had reached their rendezvous point with the others safely. After a tiring string of events, their winter training had ended peacefully.

Months passed by as the cold and harsh winter melted to welcome the start of spring and the rebirth of all things beautiful. Green grass flourished and colourful flowers showed the first signs of blooming. Rosaria crouched down on the empty patch of dirt, supplies and seeds by her knees as she focused on transporting the soil into the ground.

"It seems the duties of squad captain never satisfy you enough, Rosaria." Rosaria perks up, already knowing the owner of the husky voice. "I've trained everyone in the Scouts until they were ragged and tired and couldn't move an inch, yet you always find _something_ to do other than training and paperwork." Rosaria smirked at Levi. "Please Corporal, my thighs are still _shaking_ at the amount of training you've put me through." Levi raised an eyebrow and crouched down next to her.

"Then what exactly are you doing?" Levi asked. Rosaria placed a packet of seeds in Levi's hands. "Gardening." Rosaria said as her fingers brushed against Levi's calloused ones. She places a couple of different seeds in his palm and their fingers brush against each other gently. "This is marjoram seed… that's basil… rocket… they're great for cooking." Levi noted the gentle weight of her index fingers as it pressed down on his calloused palm. "This is lemon balm… peppermint… tea tree… they're great as medicinal herbs to make powders." Rosaria briefly looked up at Levi, their eyes meeting for a second. Her breath gets caught in her throat for a second, feeling the gentle touch of his fingers against her own.

"W-would you like to try planting some?" Levi raised an eyebrow. "Me? Gardening?" Levi scoffed at the idea. _Humanity's strongest_ gardening and willingly touching dirt, worms and the alike? Pass. "C'mon, gardening is pretty fun. It's calming and you get to see the fruits of your labour at the end of the day." Levi still did not entertain the idea. "Here you can follow me." Rosaria took a seed from his palm and dropped it into a shallow hole in the patch of soil. She gently scoops up more soil and buries the seed inside, gently tapping and packing the soil firmly. Then she places a wooden stick and writes on it, stabbing it into the soil she just packed. "I've just planted a lemon balm seed. Now… I'll water it with love…" Levi rolled his eyes as she took the small cup and watered it gently. "See, easy?" Levi scoffed.

"I'll leave the gardening to the farmers and they'll leave the _fighting_ to me. Sounds way easier." Rosaria rolled her eyes. "Humanity's strongest afraid to get his hands dirty?" Levi scowled. "They say gardening is like making a wish." Levi blinks, surprised at the sudden change in conversation. "Every time you want to make a wish, you plant a seed. When it eventually sprouts and blossoms, your wish will come true." Levi laughed. "Do I look like a six-year-old brat to you, Rosaria?" Rosaria ignored his comments and gathered more soil in her hands.

"Don't you have a wish you wanted to come true so desperately with all your heart and soul?" Levi blinked, looking into clear emerald eyes. "A wish that you prayed to the Gods for so long… begging for it to come to fruition." Levi lowered his eyes to the ground.

Even if he was humanity's strongest - he too made wishes.

_I wish Erwin was still alive. I wish I was strong enough to protect my squad. I wish Farlan and Isabel didn't follow me on that expedition that fateful day. I wish I didn't have to lose the people I loved and have yet to love._

_But yet, God never answered his prayers._

"Levi…?" Rosaria glances at him, wondering why his usually stoic features looked… _pain_. Levi suddenly kneels down, taking the seeds in his palm and analyzing the soil. "So how do I plant this shitty seed?" Levi asked. Rosaria brushed against his calloused fingertips and gently guided them to a shallow hole in the soil.

"You just gently place the seed in… yeah like that…"

* * *

As weeks passed by and spring had fully awoken, the Scouts were as busy as ever. Now that winter was over, it was finally time for the Scouts to make their _first_ expedition beyond the walls in over five years since Wall Maria fell. Preparations had well been made for months now and everyone had anxiously waited in both fear and excitement for what their journey tomorrow would bring.

It was late at night and everyone had retired early due to the fact that they'd have to wake up at the crack of dawn for final equipment checks before they stepped foot outside wall Maria. Yet strangely, there were still _two_ soldiers who had not resigned to the fate of sleep just yet.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping when we have a big day tomorrow, Captain?" Rosaria smirked as she looked up at Levi. "I'd ask you the same, Corporal." The wind gently blew her soft blonde hair and swayed the ruffles of the hem of her long skirt. Levi had noticed that this was the first time he had seen her outside of the military uniform and sports attire, donning a loose white blouse and a grey ruffled skirt that reached her ankles. His thoughts mirrored Rosaria's, who was glancing at his loose grey blouse and black slacks.

"Come for a secret late-night rendezvous with your lover?" Rosaria teased, smirking. Levi felt his heart twitch at the words, strangely attracted to words he knew was not true at all. Did her words somehow… turn him on? "I think I can hardly call _gardening_ a lover, Rosaria." Rosaria laughed. As Levi crouched down, his eyes glanced at the patch of dirt. There was small seedlings sproutings, small green and lush leaves poking out of its fragile stem.

"It's growing pretty well, Corporal." Rosaria whispered, their heads next to each other as they examined the garden. Levi's fingers touched the small seedling to his left, a wooden note poking out of the dirt.

_Parsley - OB_

Then to the right, was another small seedling. Then again, each seeding had its own unique label in the patch of dirt.

_Mint - EG; Daisy - GS; Sunflower - PR_

Levi took the water can in his hands, letting the water sprinkle onto the dirt.

_Parsley for_ _**Oluo** _ _, who's always a pain in the ass and no one likes him - still he always seems to compliment the team well even with his strong characteristics. Mint for_ _**Eld** _ _, a strong herb for medicine and drinks. Healing and strong, just like Eld himself to the end. Daisy for_ _**Gunther** _ _, quiet and barely noticeable but silently beautiful and pairs well with everyone. Sunflower for_ _**Petra** _ _, a ray of sunshine and the heart of the team. Always cheerful, kind and deserving of so much love…._

… _ **.deserving of so much more time on this earth.**_

"Do you think they'll grow well?" Levi found himself asking. Rosaria smiled, noting how _proactive_ Levi actually was when a few weeks ago, he would rather fight titans than gardening. "I think they will… You're taking care of them so well after all." Levi glanced back at his seedlings, something shifting in his soul.

Levi knew his wishes of reviving his lost loved ones would never come true. Even god himself couldn't turn back time. So at the very least, he wished he would be able to bring some comfort to his lost comrades in the afterlife. He didn't know how life after death works, but if gardening meant there was a chance they'd be a little bit happier up there - hey, he'd get his hands dirty over and over again.

"Grow well, you shitty seeds." Levi said, looking at each of his seedlings. Rosaria shook her head. "You know plants can hear you right?" Levi scowled. Levi glanced, staring up at the clouds.

For once, there was just a little something he looked forward coming back to after an expedition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this "gardening" idea in my head for a while now and it's surreal to see it finally visualise in words. I'm still overwhelmed with the events of Episode 8… so here's to hoping all my readers find some slight peace with this chapter!
> 
> As always, please leave a review! It keeps me motivated!


	5. The Massage

**Chapter 5**

The ocean was beautiful. It was wide and never-ending, with blue water as clear as a mirror. It was cold and refreshing and filled with other living creatures they had never heard about. In fact, Hanji had taken it upon herself to capture some squiggly, brownish slimy creature that resembled a lot like a _penis_ if you asked him. Still, the view was magnificent.

If there was a moment that Levi would look back at in his life - it must be this moment. A moment when he finally ventures far enough outside the walls and finds the _truth_ behind why they've been fighting all these years; that titans weren't just some cruel creature dropped by God to torture humans - instead, they were just humans tortured to turn into human-eating creatures… and the real enemy was a country named Marley.

"If I kill all of our enemies over the wall….. will we finally be free?"

Levi stares at Eren, pointing at the vast and beautiful ocean. It was at this moment - Levi knew deep down that the brat who yelled he would eradicate this world of titans had truly _changed._ A dark, hopelessness had enveloped those once bright turquoise eyes. Now, the brat was no longer hopeful to protect the world…. but rather hoped to watch it all burn to ashes…

… **.even himself.**

* * *

Levi sat in his armchair, finishing up on paperwork with the dim light of the candles in the room. He rolled his shoulders back, grimacing at how sore they were. He picks his teacup up only to find that it was empty. Grunting, he gets up and walks towards the door when suddenly, a knock erupts. A firm knock on his bedroom door sounded, three times to be exact.

"State your name and business." Levi answered with a firm voice. No one really visited him in his personal chambers other than Hanji who would suddenly crash into his personal space and spout more nonsense or throw more work onto him. Still, he always made sure to ask who it was before opening the door - a habit he found he could never shake off since his days in the underground.

"Corporal… It's me. Rosaria, sir." Levi blinks in confusion. He definitely wasn't expecting her, but still, he opens the door with a firm swing of his hand. The door opens to find Rosaria with a tray of tea, _chamomile_ ; and a box of medical tools. "Can I come in, sir?" Rosaria asked, hoping to appear calm and gentle. Levi gave a long glance at the tray and sighed.

_Had it been that obvious?_

"You have a bad habit of sticking your nose into other people's business, Rosaria." Levi grumbled, but still he moved backwards and allowed her to come in. Rosaria sets the tray on the wooden table, careful to move some of Levi's documents to the side. "I know it isn't my business…. But it would serve as a risk to Paradis if your _injury_ worsens, Corporal. You are humanity's strongest after all." Levi growls, crossing his arms as he glares at Rosaria. "The last thing I need is to be babied by my subordinate over a small flesh wound, Rosaria." Rosaria poured the chamomile tea into the empty teacup and shook her head.

"My father used to own a medical practice, Corporal. I know an injury when I see one…. And, here's your tea. Chamomile. Calms the body and mind, something you'll need after your bruises." Levi smirks, taking the cup in his hand. "Using my own words against me, are you?" Rosaria smirks, remembering the exact same words Levi had told her when he brought tea to her room after she had her ass _wiped_ by Levi when she had first joined the ranks.

"Fine. I'm only doing this because you brought _tea_. Make it quick, Rosaria." Levi sets the cup down on his nightstand and sits on his bed. Rosaria sets the medical equipment neatly on the tray and lines everything she needs by order. She walks over to Levi, hovering over his seated posture. "I'll need you to take off your shirt, sir." Rosaria says. Levi proceeds to unbutton the buttons of his shirt _slowly_ , clearly enjoying watching Rosaria find a sudden interest in the wall of his room as she glared at it with all her willpower. When Levi unbuttoned the last of it, he carefully peeled the blouse away from his shoulder and let it slide down his body and onto the bed.

"Are you expecting the wound to heal itself or are you actually going to look at me and do it, Rosaria?" Rosaria jumped at his words and quickly averted her eyes back to his muscular and toned body. Rosaria gulped. She forces herself to stop looking at his _abs_ and not act like a fucking creep, so instead, she averts her gaze onto his shoulder blades. Her eyes winced as she eyes the purplish-blue bruise in his right shoulder blade. She gently brushes against the skin, feeling the soreness of the injury. "On a scale of 1-10, how much does this hurt?" Rosaria presses her index finger into the bruise, slowly at first then slightly harsher. Levi doesn't flinch and calmly says "A three?" Rosaria frowns. "I think this should be a _six_ for any normal soldier, but I guess for humanity's strongest pain tolerance comes with the job description."

She brushes her fingertips downwards his shoulder, touching his biceps. She finds the loosely tied white bandage around his large, muscled arm and gently unravels it. She frowns at the sight, setting the bandage on the table. "You should have asked for a medic immediately. This cut could have been infected if left unattended." Levi rolled his eyes. "The medics already had their hands full with the injuries from the new recruits. I've had worse." Rosaria pressed her thumb forcefully into the cut and scowled.

"Ouch!" Levi yelled and grunted, flinching away from Rosaria." Rosaria grabbed a cotton ball and disinfectant, dabbing it slowly over the gash on his bicep. "See? If it hurts then that means it's a fucking injury that should be attended properly. Do you think just because you're humanity's strongest that your body is made out of steel, Levi?" Levi scowled, clearly unhappy with the _lecture_ he was receiving. Since when was the last time he was _lectured_? Maybe when Erwin was still alive?

Rosaria spent the next few minutes cleaning the cut and then stitching it up carefully. Then, she moved on to applying some kind of ointment over the nasty bruise on Levi's shoulder blade, her touch light and gentle. "Your shoulders feel quite tense." She said, her hands on his shoulder blades, carefully pressing on his pressure points without causing further damage to the bruise. "Yeah, it's been giving me hell lately." Levi rolled his shoulders. Rosaria made a circle around Levi, placing her knees on top of his bed as she approached him from behind.

"Hm, you've been putting a lot of strain on your shoulders…. " Rosaria said in a soft voice, her voice gently hovering above Levi's ears. _Had her voice always been this gentle?_ Levi wondered curiously. "I'm going to go ahead and ease up your joints. Let me know if it hurts." Her hands go on to work on carefully by pressing into his pressure points with her thumb, then gently massaging circles back and forth into his joints and rolling his skin in between her fingertips. The whole process was quiet, with only the sound of Rosaria's fingers against his skin and the occasional squeak of the massage oil she used. Sometimes, he'd hear her whisper "Does it hurt?" and he would shake his head and sometimes he'd hear her low and calm breathing.

Levi hated to admit it, but damn this felt _good_. He was thoroughly relaxed and at ease, the tense muscles of his shoulders now a far and distant memory. He had closed his eyes and leaned slightly back at some point even. "Levi." The whisper of his name so gently in his ears sends goosebumps on his skin. Levi blinks open his eyes. "Could you lay down? I'll massage your back too." Levi doesn't hesitate when he lays down on the soft sheets of his bed.

Rosaria shifts the weight of her legs as she sits on Levi's butt, somewhat straddling his toned body. Her hands moved gently across the span of his spine, fingers trailing the line as she drew soft circles and massaged every single spot. Levi had once again closed his eyes, his breathing calm. He didn't know how long time had passed until he heard Rosaria's giggle. He opens his eyes, finding that she was sitting on his back now, her head poking out of his shoulder. "I thought you were asleep. You looked so peaceful." Levi blinks, eyes laced with sleepiness from how relaxed he was. "There's still your front shoulder blades. Can you turn around?" Levi nodded wordlessly. Rosaria shifts back onto the bed, letting Levi turn his body until he is laying upwards, facing the ceiling.

Once Levi was turned over, Rosaria gently seated on his abdomen. Levi notices the weight almost immediately; not because she was heavy, but rather because the weight left a strange sensation to his _intimate_ part. Rosaria worked on applying the massage oil, a lemon balm seed oil Levi noticed, onto his shoulder blades and chest. She straddled his hips, gently swaying her hips to the front then to the back with each movement of her hands as she brought her hands from his shoulder blades down to his biceps.

Although Levi felt utterly relaxed than he has been in ages, he felt a _tenseness_ in his body part that was usually dormant. He couldn't possibly go back to sleep now with the _pressure_ he felt and his eyes seemed to fall towards the small show of cleavage as Rosaria's loose blouse swayed downward with gravity.

Any given man in Levi's situation would have acted differently but fortunately for Levi, he was disciplined in this _area_ for years and he wasn't easily swayed or tempted. Still, maybe that too had _backfired_ on him because it seems his _body_ was longing for something after all those years of absence as the building pressure just _wasn't_ fading away easily. Levi let out a low growl as he placed his calloused hands directly on Rosaria's waist, gripping her hips tightly.

Rosaria flinches, suddenly aware of Levi's sharp grey eyes staring into hers. She gulps. "You're moving your hips too much. Do I look like a rocking horse to you?" Rosaria coughed in surprise then laughed. "S-sorry, Corporal. I'll try not to." Levi's hands remained gripped to her waist as she continued to work on easing his tense muscles. Minutes passed by and no conversation was made, but only a few fleeting glances between the two.

"Feeling better, Corporal?" Levi nodded, rolling his shoulders and letting out a relaxed sigh. "I don't think I've felt this good in decades." Rosaria laughed. "Good to know I have a future as a masseuse once this war is over." Levi moved his fingers that were placed on her waist and gripped it firmly, using his strength to lift her in the air and gently place her onto the bed. Rosaria didn't flinch, but she did gape as she thought to herself...

" _He can lift me up so easily while sitting? He really is humanity's strongest"._

Once Rosaria felt the familiar comfort of soft sheets, she placed her feet onto the ground and walked towards the table, packing her medical equipment and the teapot back onto the tray.

"I'm done. Have a good rest, Corporal." Rosaria said as she walked towards the door. As she turned the doorknob, the sound of shifting sheets made her turn her head. "Thank you, Rosaria. I appreciate it." Levi said, looking into her emerald eyes. Rosaria's breath caught in her throat before she could respond. "You're welcome, sir. Goodnight."

As the door closed tightly, Levi dropped back into the soft sheets and laid there, staring at the ceiling. He seemed to be in deep thought for a few minutes, before raising his right hand out, closely inspecting his fingers. His fingers twitched as it cupped the air slightly.

"Gods, her waist was so small…." Levi groaned to himself.

It seemed the carefully checked discipline humanity's strongest had was slowly starting to unravel without him knowing.

* * *

That night in Levi's bedroom was the last time Rosaria had seen him. For almost two months, Squad Levi had moved to a secure and secluded location in the outskirts of Wall Maria, where they could conduct large scale training to enhance Armin's titan abilities. While Levi Squad was away from the Scouts HQ, Hanji, Rosaria and the rest remained to focus on the new training regime.

The old-fashioned 3DMG and blades meant for cutting down titans were now out of commission as the Anti-personnel Vertical Maneuver Gear originally used by the secret MP squad led by Kenny Ackerman was mass-produced for the Scouts. In addition, modifications with Thunder Spears and semiautomatic pistols were combined to form the newest combat equipment against both _humans_ and _titans_. Every squad leader was tirelessly training from dawn to dusk with their team, gearing up to train and excel the use of this new equipment that was attained through the sacrifices of their many comrades during the uprising civil war.

Rosaria leaned into her chair, sighing at the throbbing headache she had. It had to pass midnight already, yet she was still stuck with paperwork at her desk.

_God, I thought joining the scouts was all about physical fights, no one told me about the mass paperwork I had to deliver with tight deadlines._

It seemed Rosaria had finally understood why Levi was always working till late in the night now. Rosaria glanced at the white teacup with small birds by the seam. She wondered how Levi was fairing with his squad? Probably tired of babysitting and constantly having to pull Mikasa away from picking fights with everyone who dared to even look in Eren's direction? Rosaria let out a small laugh.

She brings the tea to her lips, sipping it slowly. She often found her thoughts revolving around Levi in his absence. Was it due to the fact that he was her commanding officer and of course they had a close relationship due to the nature of how her work was being reported? Rosaria couldn't say. Even back in the Garrison, she wasn't this _close_ to her commanding officer. So why then? Why was it that she often found images of Levi when her head was in the clouds? Or when she was brewing tea and she'd be reminded of his snarky remarks? Or when she was laying in bed… sometimes she'd remember flashes of Levi's piercing grey eyes looking directly at her. The feel of his grip on her waist. The brush of his fingertips against her skin… and more often than not…

" _Thank you, Rosaria. I appreciate it."_

… the surprising words from Levi's mouth that caught her off guard.

Rosaria sighed, shaking the thoughts away. Surely, it must be because of her friendly relationship with Levi. They were considered closer in age than the other younger, fresher recruits after all.

Rosaria pushed the thoughts away and let her professional duties come first.

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Hanji?" Rosaria knocked on Hanji's office door. "Yes, come in." Rosaria enters, seeing Hanji on her desk with piles and piles of paperwork. She takes a seat in the empty chair and waits for Hanji. "I'll need your squad to make the journey to Shiganshina tomorrow. From there, Jean will lead you the way to the hideout Levi Squad has been using for Armin and Eren's training." Rosaria raised an eyebrow.

"My squad only?" Hanji nodded. "It's time for the other squads to dip their toes and engage in actual training with titan shifters. That means, Eren and Armin. We've been cautious, as Armin hasn't been able to fully control the Colossal Titan's abilities. Plus, the nature of his titan abilities is very much large scale and destructive." Rosaria nodded. "But we need to gear up and be prepared for the day when Marley knocks on our doors; even if they are busy with a war on their end." Hanji flips through some paperwork and looks up at Rosaria.

"Since you are well-acquainted with everyone on Levi Squad, it makes sense to send your team to be the first. You'll have better teamwork with Levi Squad and work towards practising the new gear and trying it out in actual combat and against an actual titan; while Armin will be able to practice his own titan abilities more." Rosaria nodded, crossing her arms. "Yes, that makes sense. I'll notify my squad and make the necessary arrangements for tomorrow's journey then. Anything else I should be aware of, Hanji?"

Hanji blinked and adjusted her eyepatch. "Well…" Hanji shifted in her seat. "I was already planning to send your squad for this mission from the start… but I'm surprised _Levi_ actually recommended you himself." Rosaria blinked in confusion. "It seems he trusts you quite dearly, Rosaria. I'm a bit taken aback. Don't think I've seen him trust someone so quickly, and that's saying a lot considering I've been with him since his first day as a fresh recruit in the Scouts." Rosaria played with the material of her coat nervously. "That's surprising… I didn't know Corporal trusted me this much. He's usually just ordering me around to make tea or elbow me in the face when I stop him from murdering some poor cadet." Hanji laughed.

"Yes, that sounds like Levi too. Well, safe journey tomorrow, Captain." Rosaria saluted and nodded at Hanji. As Rosaria exited the door and it came to a shut, Hanji leaned back in her seat and smirked.

"Levi…. Looks like you're finally starting to let someone into that heart of yours, huh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I'm on a roll as I seem to be writing non-stop during my off-work time. Things are finally starting to pick up and we'll be seeing more intimate romantic scenes… soon! As always, please leave a review!


	6. The Destruction

**Chapter 6**

"We're close, Captain. We should arrive at the base in another ten minutes or so." Jean said as he rode on the horse. Rosaria nodded, eyes glancing towards her other three team members. "Remind me again why we're not allowed to know the location of the base and instead need Jean to bring us there? Isn't this just redundant?" A young man with black hair said. Rosaria averted her eyes to him. "Commander is taking the necessary precautions. Although it's unlikely Marley has any idea that we have the colossal titan, it's better to be safe than sorry if they've planted spies in our ranks. Information on the Special Ops Squad is kept to the bare minimum to prevent a repeat of the tragedy caused by the Female Titan." Rosaria explained.

"We're here." Jean announced. Rosaria could make out the dusty and old castle and the stables by the front.

* * *

A knock sounded on Levi's office door. "State your name and business." Levi said, bringing a cup of tea to his lips. "Rosaria, sir." Levi set the cup down. "Come in." Rosaria steps in and salutes. "Stand down, Rosaria." Rosaria eases and sits down on the chair opposite of Levi's table. "Did you lose weight, Corporal? The last time I saw you I could have sworn you had chubbier cheeks." Levi clicked his tongue. "Having Eren on kitchen duty dulls my appetite apparently with the horrible shit he serves." Rosaria laughed.

"Well, you'll be happy to know I was voted the top five best cooks in the Scouts and would be glad to fill those hollow cheeks of yours again, Corporal." Rosaria announced proudly. "Great. I'd do anything to take out Eren from the kitchen roster. If only the kid's cooking skills could heal as fast as his wounds." Levi poured a cup of tea and set it in front of Rosaria.

"It's great to have you back, sir. Hate to admit it, but I miss having you shoot orders instead." Levi raised an eyebrow as he stared at Rosaria. "It's so stressful to be Hanji's right hand while you were gone. I have to take care of all the cadets, deal with the other squad captains' shitty behaviors and have them breathe down my neck… and I have to clean up after Hanji! Have you seen her office?! It's like a titan threesome party in there!" Levi laughed, almost choking on his tea.

"Good to know that someone finally understands how I feel." Rosaria sighed, gulping down the tea in one go. "And the other ex-Garrison captains! Ugh! They're like mad dogs fighting for a bone the moment you left! Everyone's fighting for power and politics even when Hanji made it clear we don't want any internal hierarchy between the veterans. But no- instead of training and strategizing how to protect Paradis from an invasion from Marley in the near future, they're fighting about who gets to show up at the military banquet party and get their dirty hand kissed by the Queen!" Levi shook his head. "You'd be surprised how much those disgusting old geezers _fantasize_ about being kissed by the Queen." Rosaria cringed at Levi's words.

"Anyways, I'm glad to not have to be the one to fight with the other captains for now. Those hellish two months without you were terrible." Levi sipped his tea. "What about you, Corporal? Did you miss me?" Rosaria asked, eyes sparkling as she stared at Levi. She gave a mischievous grin and inched her face closer to Levi's. Levi inched his face closer to Rosaria's and stared right into her emerald green eyes. Rosaria flinched slightly, uncomfortable at the sudden close proximity. Then Levi placed the tip of his index finger on her forehead and _flicked_ her skull, hard.

Rosaria groaned in pain as she stumbled backward from Levi's force. "As if I would miss a noisy and crazy brat like you." Levi stood up from his seat and grabbed his beige jacket. "Enough chit-chatting, Captain. Let's get down to business"

* * *

Days passed by quickly as Rosaria and Levi's squad woke at dawn and trained with Armin's and Eren's titan abilities until late dusk. Their days were filled head to toe with vigorous training, formations and working as a team to take down a titan-shifter. Today was no exception as Rosaria zipped across the dense forest with her 3DMG gear. They were experimenting with Armin's colossal titan abilities and how big of a range and impact it would have to determine how best to use his abilities in a critical situation. They were split into Levi squad and Rosaria squad, in which two teams were scheduled to meet at different rendezvous points at scheduled times to make sure they were out of Armin's firing range.

Rosaria swiftly landed on one of the tree branches up high and crouched down on one knee, looking downwards as she heard two sets of boots crunching against leaves behind hers.

_Wait, two?_

Rosaria's careful eyes scanned the faces of her subordinates - Luca, a young girl from the 105th training corps and Sam, a young man in her 20s and a Private transferred from the Garrison just like Rosaria. "Where's Samuel?" Rosaria's voice was alarmed. Luca and Sam exchanged glances. They two were unsure. Rosaria furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her watch.

"Where the hell is Samuel?" Rosaria scanned the dense forest, searching for any sounds or signs of Samuel. They had practiced this formation a few times already, there was no way Samuel could have forgotten the rendezvous point or time. "Armin's going to transform anytime soon. Do you think Samuel is still in range?" Luca asked, worried. Rosaria clicked her tongue, running through the various simulations of where Samuel would be. "It's likely something happened to Samuel and he's still in Armin's firing range when he transforms." Rosaria clicked the trigger on her right, checking the amount of gas she has.

"Levi Squad is at the other end of the perimeter while Armin is in the center..." Rosaria mumbled to herself. "We only have four minutes before Armin transforms. That's not enough time for me to get to Armin nor Levi Squad - leaving me in firing range and being blown to bits by Armin's scheduled attack." Sam cringed and bit his lower lip. Rosaria pulled out a small gun from her belt and aimed it towards the sky, clicking the trigger as black smoke erupted and a sharp sound echoed.

"I doubt anyone can see the signal considering how far we are - but it's our only option. Sam, Luca - stay out of firing range and try to fire the signal as much as you can. If we're lucky, Armin might be able to spot it." Sam and Luca nodded, shuffling their belts for the gun. "I'm going to find Samuel. If I don't make it back in time, don't come after me. There's no guarantee Armin won't release his attack and you'll only get caught in the fire." Sam swallowed a hard lump in his throat. "Find Corporal Levi once the attack is over and it's safe to be within range." Rosaria says, turning her head towards Luca and Sam before she clicks the trigger and swings towards the north of the dense forest at terrifying speed.

As she zips through the air, eyes scanning carefully for any signs of Samuel; she can hear the sounds of the signal flare getting further and further. Rosaria clicked her tongue, heart beating fast in her chest. "Samuel! Samuel! Where are you?!" Rosaria's shouts echo in the forest. She continues her shouts for what seemed like a good minute and she lands on top of a branch. She glances down at her watch.

_2 minutes._

_If I make a beeline towards the rendezvous point now, I can still stay out of firing range. But Samuel…._

Rosaria tightened her grip on her gear.

_Do I have to abandon the life of my subordinate to save my own?_

Rosaria bit down her lower lip as she contemplated her options. As she was deep in thought, she heard something from the tip of her ears. She flinched, turning her head towards the west. She clicks the trigger, rushing towards the source of the voice. As she sprints faster, she can hear Samuel's cries.

"Captain!" Samuel shouts, kneeling on the ground with tangled wires. Rosaria sees him from the corner of her eyes and in a flash, her anchors dug into the tree branch near Samuel and she propels herself and lands swiftly next to Samuel. "M-my gear malfunctioned! It's not working correctly. I can't move-" Rosaria snatches the gear in her own fingers and presses the buttons furiously. "You didn't do a double check on your gear this morning?" Rosaria asked somewhat calmly despite the sheen of sweat on her forehead. "N-no…" Samuel's reply is full of guilt and fear. "Stand up and don't move!" Rosaria yells and Samuel follows, standing up to full height and with a flash, Rosaria cuts the wires of his gears with a swift swing of her blades. The 3DMG gear falls on the ground with a quiet thud.

"Get on my back, hands around my neck." Samuel follows quickly, not hesitating. "With the added weight, my speed will greatly decrease. I'll try my best to be as fast as I can with all the gas I have so you have to hold on to me with your life!" Samuel nods, already wrapping his legs around Rosaria's torso and his arms around her neck. Rosaria clicks the trigger with record speed, sprinting back into the air without delay. She whizzes through the air, each click of her trigger releasing steady amounts of gas and whizzing past the forest with lighting speed. As Rosaria is about to check her watch, a flash of lighting flashes through the blue sky. Rosaria and Samuel gape, goosebumps traveling down their skin.

_Shit, Armin transformed. He didn't see the signal._

"W-what are we going to do?!" Samuel panics. Rosaria scans her surroundings with one scan of her eyes. "We're still too close to firing range. We need cover." Rosaria pants. She fires into a thick branch and propels herself and Samuel forward. "I'll continue to sprint us forward - listen for the attack. Once Armin releases the attack - we need to take cover." Samuel turns his head back and swallows. Ten seconds pass by slowly as a loud crashing sound vibrates throughout the entire forest and red flames appear in the corner of Samuel's eyes.

"It's here!" Rosaria bites her lower lip and aims towards the nearest tree she can find. She kneels down on the tree branch and grabs Samuel out of her grip. "Take cover!" Rosaria yells as she presses Samuel under her body towards the large tree stump. A flash of red and yellow light the forest as all sound dies out.

_Destruction._

That was the only word that Rosaria could think of to describe the sight unfolding before her. This was the power of the Colossal Titan. Destruction - until only a sea of corpses stood underneath him. As Rosaria braced for impact, pain erupts all over her body as she is sent flying. The next thing she sees is the abyss - as she lets pain embrace her.

* * *

Levi watched the tick of his watch as he took it out from his breast pocket. He turns towards his squad - Eren, Mikasa, Jean, Sasha, and Connie all accounted for and safe. Armin had released a powerful display of his power as scheduled to test out how big was the range and impact. As Levi watched a large perimeter of the forest now reduced to ashes and a low fire burning in the middle - he raises his eyebrows when he hears footsteps on a tree branch by his side.

"Corporal Levi!" Levi turned his head, noting how distraught Sam looked. When their eyes meet - Levi can already tell something went wrong, terribly _wrong._ "Captain Rosaria and Samuel were likely caught in Armin's attack. We have to search for them!" Levi's eyes widened, feeling his fingers ball into fists.

"What happened?" Levi barked. "Samuel didn't show up at the rendezvous point. Captain asked us to fire the black flare but we were too far out for Armin or Levi Squad to notice… captain went to look for Samuel and never came back." Levi let out a low growl as he slammed his fist into the nearby tree trunk.

He couldn't believe it. This was just an exercise. This wasn't war. This wasn't enemy territory. How could he let two of his subordinates die? No…. How could he let _her_ die?

"Mikasa and Jean - go find Armin and make sure he's okay and not out of control. Cut his nape if you have to, Jean is in charge." Jean and Mikasa nodded, zipping off into the distance. "Sasha and Connie - we'll ride on Eren's shoulder after he transforms to commence a search and rescue." Eren nods, instantly biting his hand as lightning flashed. He turns into his titan form and heavy steam surrounds him. "Sam, go find Luca. Both of you will wait back at the base. Under no circumstances do you leave, do you understand?" Sam nods and fires his grapples.

Levi fires his own grapples to a high tree branch and lands easily on Eren's shoulder, continued by both Sasha and Connie. Eren runs throughout the ablaze forest - his big feet stomping and shaking the ground with every step. Levi searches high and low, trying to find anything. Should he be looking for a corpse? A broken body part? A limb? A head? Levi swallowed and let out a low growl. How could this happen under his watch?

" _I'll always be by your side… until the day comes for you to reunite with them. So until then… I'll stick to you with your favorite cup of tea waiting in hand."_

Levi's reminded of the words Rosaria said when they had just met. Levi bit his lower lip until the inside of his mouth tasted like metal. His head flashed with memories of the runt she brought into the Scouts, the time they spared, the embrace and vulnerability they shared in that little cabin when they went hiking in the winter…. The garden. God, he was looking forward to returning to HQ and seeing how much his plants grew with her. Now, all of that seemed to burn to ashes just like the forest around them.

"Keep your eyes peeled. It's likely they would have tried to find cover behind a tree." Levi's hoarse voice said. Sasha and Connie nodded as Eren continued running. Minutes passed and yet all they could find was burnt trees, a black patch of grass, and corpses of animals. Connie swallowed, he was starting to lose faith. "Do you think they're still alive?" Connie asked quietly. No one responds.

"Keep your eyes focused, Connie. If they're alive, we need to act quickly." Levi ordered. In the corner of Eren's eyes, he sees something unfamiliar. He yells with his hoarse titan voice, alerting the others as he points. Levi shifts his vision, focusing on the small _something_ that was slumped across the large tree log. As Eren runs closer, a shiver travels down Levi's spine. He sees a body slumped lifelessly on the large fallen tree log, face-down. Crimson blood surrounded her like a painting and her blonde hair glistened in the sunlight.

Levi draws a sharp gasp.

He's brought back to the day of the 57th expedition - when the female titan killed his entire squad. He remembers it as clear as daylight - Petra's body slumped across the tree trunk lifelessly with her dull, lifeless eyes staring up. He remembers feeling like his heart gave up on him at that exact moment, the pain coursing through his body as he silently held it in just like the countless times he did since he joined the Scouts. Now, it feels like he is reliving that day a second time as he watches _Rosaria_ come closer into view.

"It's captain Rosaria!" Sasha yells, eyes squinting as she stares into the distance. Levi presses his trigger, not bothering to wait for Eren to stop. He fires his grapples cleanly into the nearest tree trunk and propels himself in a straight line towards Rosaria. He lands onto the ground with a large crunch as his boots step onto ash. He eyes Rosaria's body carefully. Her face is downwards and he's unsure of the injuries she's sustained - judging from the amount of blood, it's not good. Levi kneels down, his fingers pressing into the tender spot in her pale neck. He waits, desperately waiting for the pulse to touch his fingertips. As the seconds pass, his mind is running in all different directions until a small pulse comes to life.

"She's alive!" Levi yells. "Connie, take Eren and find Samuel. Sasha, come and help me." Connie nods and whispers into Eren's ears and the two take off again. Sasha lands swiftly and examines Rosaria's body. "She's badly hurt…" Sasha says shakily. "Flip her over so her face is upwards." Levi gently moves Rosaria's upper body towards the right and Sasha gently moves her lower body. With a gentle thud, Rosaria is facing the sky and her body is placed on the ground. "She has a steady heartbeat but she's unconscious." Sasha says, placing her head gently on Rosaria's chest. "Rosaria, Rosaria - wake up!" Levi yells, slapping Rosaria's face. She doesn't respond. Levi does a quick sweep of her tattered body and licks his dry lips. He saw the unnatural angle of her right foot and the way it was twisted in the opposite direction, then the various cuts on her right arm and torso that definitely needed stitching, then the burns….

Levi swallowed a hard lump in his throat.

They were probably first and second degree burns on her right arm and leg. She was lucky as the left side was mostly clear. From the injuries, it was clear Rosaria's right side was exposed to the impact while she successfully shielded her left.

"Sasha, take off her gear. Slice it off if you need to." Sasha nods, putting her hands to work. Levi continued to slap Rosaria's cheek lightly, hoping it would wake her up. "Rosaria, Rosaria!" After what seemed like minutes, Rosaria's eyes fluttered lightly and she groaned. "Rosaria, can you hear me?" Levi asked, holding her head. Rosaria blinks, eyes closing for a second then opening the next and closing again. A whimper escapes from her throat and she shifts uncomfortably. "Her consciousness is sliding in and out. Likely a concussion. We need to get her to the medics." Levi growls. Sasha slices off the last of the harness on Rosaria's uniform and gently removes all of her gear.

"Sasha, find Eren and Connie. Let them know Eren needs to transport Rosaria to the medic base now." Sasha nods, adjusting her gear as she zips off. Levi glances down at Rosaria, a bloodied mess on the ground. "Stay awake, brat. I know it hurts like hell but stay with me. You're going to be fine." Rosaria whimpers in pain like a child stolen of candy. "Shh… You're going to be ok. I won't let anything happen to you." Levi coos as he gently strokes Rosaria's bloodied cheek. Rosaria's glassy eyes glance towards Levi and she weakly grabs the edge of Levi's jacket.

"L-Levi….?" Levi nods as he supports Rosaria's head in his lap. "Brat it's me. Stay awake. You'll be safe, I promise." Rosaria grunts and whimpers at the same time. "W-why does...it….hurt…." Rosaria closes her eyes shut and tears roll down her eyes. Levi takes out his cravat and gently wipes the tears and blood away from her face. "Eren is coming then we'll get you to the medics, ok? Hang on until then." Rosaria bites her lower lip, still dizzy and unsure of what's happening. "E-eren…? What….why…." She stares into the distance for seconds until she lets out a sharp gasp and flinches. "S-Samuel..!" Rosaria yells hoarsely. She tries to sit up but finds her legs utterly weak and her head spinning. Levi pushes her shoulders back to the ground and hovers over her.

"Don't move. You have a concussion and possibly some broken ribs." Rosaria isn't listening, instead, she takes another sharp gasp. "S-Samuel….He...he….wh-where is….he…" Rosaria says through shaky breaths, tears flowing down her face as she whimpered; not from pain but from grief. "Worry about yourself more, brat. Eren and Connie are looking for him." Rosaria whimpers even louder this time. Levi sighs, trying his best to hold her down without hurting her. He hears loud footsteps approaching and sighs in relief.

"Finally." Levi gets up, staring at Eren's approaching titan form. He sees Eren holding out his left palm as if he was holding something - and he makes out Connie and a passed out Samuel. Levi sighs in relief. "Eren, you need to get closer. We can't move Rosaria too much due to the severe injuries she has." Eren nods, running faster this time. Then he stops directly in front of Levi and Rosaria, his foot inches away. Eren kneels down carefully, making sure he doesn't drop his passengers on his hand. He then lays his palm flat on the ground, allowing them to see face-to-face.

"How's Samuel?" Levi asks. "Unconscious but breathing. Possibly a concussion and a few minor cuts and first degree burns. I think Captain Rosaria tried to cover him during the impact." Levi clicked his tongue.

_Stupid brat._

"I'm going to carefully move Rosaria. Eren, don't move too much." Sasha whispers into Eren's ears and he nods. "Sasha, you need to help me move her. I don't want to move her too much and risk breaking something." Sasha lands towards the ground. Levi scoops both of his arms underneath Rosaria's thighs and Sasha scoops her arms underneath Rosaria's armpits. They lift her off the ground and a pained whimper escapes Rosaria's mouth as she jerks her head back in pain.

"You'll have to bear it, Rosaria." Levi orders. Rosaria cries, shakily putting her good hand over her mouth as she cried again when Levi moved her body. They slowly moved her towards Eren's palm, putting her down next to Samuel. "All clear, Eren." Connie shouts. Eren rises to full height and carefully balances his palm as he runs through the dense forest and towards the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes:
> 
> Double chapter after the long update! I was kinda sad that there weren't many reviews for this fic and it seemed like no one was reading it… so I felt demotivated to write for the longest time ever. Then I got a review from Guest who said that she liked my writing and that she was reading fanfics again to recover from heartbreak and it broke a little something in me to not update for this dear Guest. I actually haven't been writing for close to… 2 years it seems after I started working full time as a consultant. At first, I was trying to write an original book but I kind of gave up after a few months. It really isn't easy and work was too much for me. Then I met my first love and things were pretty "happy" for a while… until he broke up with me out of the blue.
> 
> It's been nine months since the breakup and I'm pretty much still having an existential crisis and am trying to write again to find some kind of purpose in life. I really have no idea how to keep soldiering on at this point. Truth be told, I'm very much lost and unsure of what to do in life and it feels like I'm just being swept away by the current like an ocean. And… anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand as well.
> 
> Anyways, I just hope I can bring some people an ounce of happiness in this world by writing this, and hopefully, I'll feel less lost and be able to… soldier on with life again.
> 
> Please leave a review ;)


	7. The Injury

**Chapter 7**

As Eren's palm stops in front of the large doors, Levi has already completely taken off his gear. "Connie, find the medics and have them prepare for surgery." Connie nods and jumps off. "Should we get a stretcher?" Sasha asks. Levi looks over at Rosaria, noting how pale she was and her uniform was soaked with crimson blood. "She's lost too much blood. I don't think we can wait for a stretcher. She needs a blood transfusion." Levi says, stopping in front of Rosaria, unconscious on Eren's palm.

"Sasha, find a stretcher for Samuel. He's not in critical condition but he will need medical attention as soon as possible. Eren can help you while I'll carry Rosaria to the medic bay." Sasha nods, sprinting off. Levi hooks one arm underneath Rosaria's thighs and the other on her bloodied back, lifting her up easily as he stepped out of Eren's palm. Rosaria laid unconscious, not even whimpering in pain when Levi sprints towards the medic bay.

Levi's worried about injuring her further by carrying her in his arms like this - but she was in critical condition and getting a stretcher would cost too much time. Levi cursed underneath his breath.

_You can't die on me, Rosaria. You have to hang on. We're almost there._

"Corporal!" Connie shouts as two medics appear behind him as they wheeled the bed out of the medic bay. Levi immediately places Rosaria carefully on the bed, making sure her ankle didn't hit anything, and was resting on the bed. The doctor and nurse roll the bed into the medic bay, already scanning her body for all the likely injuries.

"Connie, go help Sasha with Samuel. I'll stay with Rosaria." Connie hesitantly nods, taking one last look at Rosaria as if he was worried it would be the last time he saw her alive; then ran down the hallway. "How did it happen?" The doctor asked. He was a blonde-haired man in his 40s and the nurse was a young woman in her 20s. "We were experimenting with Armin's titan abilities. She and another soldier got caught in the fire." The doctor nodded, bringing out a flashlight from his pocket. He prods Rosaria's eyelids open, flashing the light to see her dilated pupils.

"Definitely a concussion." The nurse worked on cutting away at Rosaria's bloodied clothes carefully. "Was she conscious?" Levi shook his head. "In and out. She wasn't very coherent either." The doctor nodded. "She needs a blood transfusion." Levi said sternly. The doctor rummages through his cabinet for a collection of needles and tubes. "You're right, Corporal. What blood type is she?" The nurse looks up at Levi. "O." Levi says without hesitation. "Are you sure, Corporal? If you're wron-" Levi clicks his tongue. "I memorize all the blood types of my direct subordinates. I'm right, doctor." The doctor nods and grabs the needle and tubes from his table. "We need a blood donor. It has to be someone with blood type O-" Levi rolls the sleeve of his white blouse upwards until his biceps and holds his arm out. "I'm blood type O. I'll do it." The doctor nods hesitantly.

"Alright, this will hurt a bit." Levi doesn't flinch when the doctor poked a needle into the artery on his arm. Minutes pass by and Levi sees crimson blood flowing through the tubes as it transfers to Rosaria's own lifeless wrist. The nurse carefully takes off Rosaria's bloody uniform, leaving her in only her soaked undergarments. The doctor took a look at her abdomen and pressed gently on the skin.

"Broken ribs." The doctor says. "A badly sprained ankle, first and second-degree burns…." The nurse nods as she starts taking supplies and equipment out of the cabinet. "We're going to start the surgery. Corporal, I'd advise you to look the other way." Levi scoffed, cold eyes carefully eyeing the Doctor's careful hands.

Levi was going to see through it to the end. He needed to make sure with his own eyes… that Rosaria would be safe. Maybe then, his head would finally be able to stop reeling in so many directions.

* * *

_Am I on fire?_

Rosaria groaned coarsely.

_Why does my body feel like it's burning?_

Rosaria's eyelids flutter open and close, blinking several times.

_Is this hell?_

Rosaria groaned again, her head a daze and blur all at once.

"Is...this….the end….of...the...road...for me?" Rosaria whispers, barely audible in the room. She glances at the ceiling, unsure where she is or what happened. She feels as if her body is floating in thin air, a fleeting memory, something out of this world. She believes she's somewhere in hell or equivalent as her mind wanders until something falls into her palm. Her glassy eyes glanced towards the blurred shadow by her side, her eyes squinting to desperately focus.

"You're heavily medicated, brat. Sleep. And no, you're not dead." A voice calls out. For a few seconds, Rosaria wonders if it's the voice of an angel or demon. She focuses, now able to make out the black strands of hair and familiar grey eyes.

_Why do those familiar eyes look so…._

"...scared?" Rosaria whispers, asking herself. Levi raises an eyebrow. His hand is in Rosaria's palm - loosely clutched in her tender fingers. "I'm right here, you're safe Rosaria. Sleep." Levi's voice is slightly soft now as if anything louder would shake her up. Rosaria squints her eyes, her head heavy on the soft pillow.

She raises her right hand, slowly, as if in slow motion from the delayed response of her body - then she brushes against Levi's right cheek. It feels familiar, it feels warm, it feels like she's been yearning for this feeling on her fingertips for a long while. "Don't be…." Rosaria croaks out from her dry throat. Levi's steel cold eyes meet her blurry emerald orbs. "...scared….I-I... won't leave...you...alone…."

Levi's eyes widen. His eyes look into those warm and glassy emerald orbs and he feels all the air is sucked out from his lungs. Levi bites his lower lip, feeling them tremble. He brushes his fingertips on Rosaria's - his hand on top of hers as she stroked his cheek. He feels a familiar heavy weight on his chest, a weight that has accumulated since the day he lost Farlan and Isabel on his first expedition. Since then, the weight has only felt heavier with each comrade lost - Oluo, Eld, Gunther, Petra, Nanaba, Mike, Moblit, Nifa, Erwin….

...and yet that weight seemed to _shift_ for the first time since he could remember. A silent tear drips down from the corner of Levi's eye, slowly trickling down his face. Rosaria clumsily wipes the tear away and smiles at him.

"Go to sleep, brat." Levi whispers. Rosaria's eyelids flutter close, gently going back to sleep in her medicated state. Her hand feels warm as Levi's hand intertwines with hers. She sleeps peacefully with a small smile, feeling safe with Levi's presence.

* * *

When Rosaria wakes up, she's in an unfamiliar bed. Her head and body feel immensely heavy as if she was crushed underneath a giant boulder. She groans, feeling how dry her throat is. When a hoarse whimper escapes her throat, a glass of water appears in front of her lips. Someone's hand supports the base of her neck as it gently tips her head upright to allow her to drink the water through a straw hurriedly. As she finds her vision clearer, she blinks to realize it's Luca.

"Luca…?" Rosaria asks. The young girl was young - even younger than the privates from the 104th like Mikasa and Eren. Her glassy eyes stared at Rosaria and smiled. "C-captain! You're awake!" Rosaria blinked, confused. She scans her surroundings, realizing she's somewhere unfamiliar. She looks down at her own body, her right torso, arm, and chest is covered in bandages, and she travels her gaze downwards to her right ankle and finds her entire foot in a cast. She grimaced.

"You must still feel dizzy. You were in and out the entire day from the medications." Luca said. "Day?" Rosaria asked, finding that her voice was still very much hoarse. "Do you remember the training accident, captain?" Rosaria blinked until it hit her like a flash of lightning. "S-Samuel… he…" Rosaria's heart jumped in her chest. Her usual calm was replaced with pulsating anxiety and fear.

_Did I lose my subordinate? Did I fail as a captain? Did I fail myself?_

Luca's eyes look around the room uncomfortably as if she's trying to hide something. "Samuel is fine, captain. Definitely in way better shape than you. You don't have to worry." Rosaria lets out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding. Still, something didn't feel right.

"W-what happened after I fell?" Luca sighed. "When you didn't come back and the coast was clear, Sam went to look for Corporal. The Special Ops Squad used Eren's titan abilities to find you and Samuel. You were critically injured and lost a lot of blood and they had to rush you to the medics. Samuel suffered a minor concussion and injuries…" Rosaria nodded.

"How long has it been since then?" Luca looked at the clock. "That happened around 1330 yesterday…." Rosaria glanced at the clock - it read 4 pm. "So I was knocked out for… more than 24 hours." Luca nodded. Rosaria glanced at her own body and felt the numbing pain traveling through her body. She could make out most of the injuries thanks to her medical knowledge - and she sighed to herself.

_I'll have to be put on medical rest for at least 8 weeks._

Rosaria looked up from her hands and back to the room. "Where am I by the way?" Rosaria knew she wasn't in the room she occupied for the past few days since she arrived. This room was much bigger and had a large window with lots of sunlight. There was a connecting bathroom too. "Corporal had you moved to the adjoining bedroom to his." Rosaria blinked, mouth agape.

"What? Why?" Luca met her confused eyes. "You'll likely be needing help to go anywhere, and that especially means the toilet. Corporal said it's easier to place you in a room with a connecting bathroom since the distance is closer and you won't… I quote.. 'Shit yourself while dragging your broken ankle to the bathroom that's all the way down the hall'." Rosaria scowled. Well, it made perfect sense. Her original room was right next to the other privates in her and Levi's squad on the first floor - and the bathroom was shared by everyone at the end of the hallway. With her broken ankle and a crutch, it would still take her a good ten minutes to get to the bathroom without help.

Still, having her bedroom adjoined to Levi's felt a bit out of her comfort zone. And that meant they'd be sharing the bathroom. And… he'd have to help her to the bathroom for the first week or so since they were the sole occupants on the second floor.

"Where's Corporal anyway?" Rosaria asked, curious. Truth be told, she was hoping to talk to Levi and get her up to speed on how she should carry her duties now that she's on medical leave. Luca blinked, licking her dry lips worriedly. "He's… busy with some of the duties with the Special Ops Squad. He's asked me to keep a look on you for now." Rosaria nodded. "Here, take your medication and sleep a bit more. I'll bring you porridge and milk from the kitchen. You must be starving." Rosaria hadn't realized how hungry she was until Luca mentioned.

Luca left a variety of medicinal powder and tablets along with a glass of water. Rosaria read each of the labels carefully - then writing it down on a piece of paper; an old habit from her days in medical school. She wanted to make sure she was aware of what she was putting in her body, that way if something went wrong she could narrow down what medicine was most likely causing it. After she took her medicine, she continued to lay back in bed and fell back into a soft slumber.

When Luca came back, there was a piping hot bowl of porridge and a glass of warm milk as promised. Rosaria ate the whole thing within ten minutes as her body desperately craved nutrition and energy. Luca had taken her empty bowl back to the kitchen, leaving her to her own devices. Rosaria sighed, suddenly reminded that she had a lot of paperwork and she briefly wondered if she could ask Luca to bring it up to her room so she could do something useful.

Before she could execute her plan though, someone opened her door. "Good to see you're finally awake." Levi's voice is neutral as usual. Their eyes meet for a brief second before Rosaria smiles weakly. "Corporal." Levi takes a seat on the chair next to her bed and crosses his leg. "You still look shitty. Did you take all your meds?" Levi gave a careful glance at her. Rosaria nodded.

"By the way…. Who found me? I can't remember anything after I was knocked unconscious." Levi poured a cup of tea from the bedside table and brought it to his lips before speaking. "I and my team did." Levi said through gritted teeth. Rosaria blinked, picking up something _unusual_ in his voice. "Was it...a difficult sight when you found me?" Levi took a few seconds before he shook his head.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before compared to the corpses eaten by titans…" Rosaria tilted her head, as if asking 'then why do you look so… disturbed?', and Levi answered "I thought you were dead." Rosaria's eyes met his cold, steel blade grey colored eyes. Something flashed in them. Something she couldn't put her finger on. "I…." Rosaria found herself at a loss for words. She wasn't used to seeing _concern_ in Levi's eyes. She puts her hand on top of Levi's, a somewhat familiar feeling. "I'm sorry, Corporal. I…. I…. made a careless mistake…. I.." Levi let out a sigh and leaned in his chair.

"It's not your fault. I wouldn't know if you had made a different decision and would the outcome have been different. I've never known the answer to that." Levi's words come out immediately. "As captain of a squad, you'll always make decisions that would cost lives. And… you can only believe that it was the right decision at the time." Rosaria felt a heavy weight in her heart. "No matter what decisions we make, we have to live with the consequences." It feels like Levi has said those exact words too many times to count and it's now a practiced speech.

"I'm sorry…. I….I can't imagine what it must have been like when you found me. What went through your head." Levi can still remember how his heart was beating like crazy. How it felt as if he was brought back to the day he lost his entire squad. How he saw Petra's corpse… and how it looked just like Rosaria's. Levi clenched his fists. "If the roles were reversed…" Rosaria looked up at the ceiling. "I don't know what I would do." Rosaria laughs. "I've lost people before.. Not as many as you of course. But still… you're… different to me. You're important to me, Levi."

Levi blinked. The tension and aura in the air felt different. "Ha…. I mean… who would I make tea for if you were gone? Who's gonna make shitty constipation jokes while I'm eating? Who's gonna spar with me? Those… those things are special to me." Levi smirked, shaking his head. He remembered how he felt when he thought she was dead. How his mind was going in all different directions.

" _I'll always be by your side… until the day comes for you to reunite with them. So until then… I'll stick to you with your favorite cup of tea waiting in hand."_

"Do you remember the promise you made to me, Rosaria?" Levi asks. Rosaria fumbles with Levi's fingers, still under her own palm. "Promise?" She asked, confused. She really couldn't remember making a promise to Levi. Was it to finish her paperwork on time? To clean dog shit up? … since whe- "Ah." It hits her like a struck of lightning. "Did you mean…. The one where I said I'd always be by your side… until you have to… reunite with the people you lost?" Rosaria hesitantly asks. She remembers the scene like it was just yesterday. Their first winter. Cold as hell. She was… struggling with her dead ex's memory. Then in an attempt to numb the grief out, she fought Levi.

Levi nods, sipping tea as he brings the cup to his lips. It was cold, but he didn't care. "Those words… they mean a lot to me." Levi admitted. He could see the surprise in Rosaria's eyes. "I'll beat you up if you break your promise, Rosaria." Rosaria blinked. "You can't die before me. That's the one thing you have to promise me." Rosaria gulped. She wasn't used to this side of Levi. The usually stoic, snarky, foul-mouthed, clean-freak Levi barely showed much emotion unless it was anger or rage. In fact, he was usually quite calm and level-headed unless someone pissed him off. So for him to say those words, that _she_ meant a lot to him…. That she _can't_ die before him… Rosaria's lower lip trembled. A tear escaped her eye and she cast her eyes downwards.

"What the hell's wrong with me…" She whispered. Levi paused momentarily. "I'm a grown woman…. Why am I crying in front of my commanding officer." Levi sighed. He pulled his cravat from his blouse and unfolded it, gently wiping at the small tears on her face. He's suddenly remembered that he did the exact same thing when he was moving her body to Eren's hand. Rosaria's face flushed at the close proximity.

_Why is my heart beating this fast?_

Rosaria gulped. Levi noticed her face was getting red. "Are you having a fever?" He puts his hand on her forehead, now their faces inches apart. Rosaria hears her own heart beating like a disco ball. She focuses her eyes on Levi's hands… how his calloused, rough hands sat on her skin. Those knuckles…. Red and ripped skin forming….

_Wait… red?_

Rosaria reached her hand out, taking Levi's hand in her own. She brings his knuckles to her eye level and she gasps. "What happened to your hand?" Rosaria asks in shock. It was bruised and red and chapped skin all over. It was evidently clear that Levi had indeed punched something, _hard_. "Did you hit a wall? Why-" Rosaria examined it closely. Surely if it was a wall and with Levi's crazy strength, his bones would have broken. So… if not a wall then…. " Levi clicked his tongue, eyes now flashing with a hint of anger or embarrassment; she couldn't tell. "You hit someone." Rosaria's mouth gaped open. Then she tried to think of whoever could be the victim. Hanji? She wasn't here. Maybe Floch? That bastard always got on his nerves… and Rosaria's too. But he wasn't here either. So….

"Where's….Samuel?" Levi bit his lower lip. He averted her gaze. His reaction further confirmed her suspicions. "Levi!" Rosaria yelled. "You hit Samuel! H-how… He's my squad member!" Rosaria felt anger in her veins. If there was one rule she kept in the military, it was no one was allowed to _hit_ her squad members. "With good reason! The brat could have killed you! He was too _lazy_ to double-check his gear before departure. That's a freaking rookie mistake and he cost you your life, Rosaria!" Levi yelled, furious.

Rosaria tried to calm down. "Yes…. He did… and I would have given him the _appropriate_ punishment after…." Levi rolled his eyes. He knew how _soft_ Rosaria was. "How hard did you hit him?" Rosaria asked. "A few punches and kicks." Levi lied. Rosaria wasn't buying it. "Levi." She warned. "And a tooth." Levi admitted. Rosaria gaped in shock. "Y-you... a tooth?!" Rosaria was about to strangle her commanding officer.

"Levi… T-this. Samuel's just a kid! People make mistakes-" "And that mistake would have made me attend your funeral, Rosaria." Levi's voice was laced with venom. Rosaria understood his tone of voice. His anger was out of control. She looked into his eyes and swallowed. Those… were the eyes of someone who would have _killed_ if he didn't have the restraint necessary. "I take the lives of my subordinates and comrades very seriously." Levi said honestly. "I don't plan on letting anyone die under my watch." Levi can see the corpses of his squad hanging in the back of his mind.

Rosaria closed her mouth, letting her lips sealed tight. She contemplates for a long while, eyes cast downwards to her hands. Slowly, she reaches her hand out to hold Levi's right hand. He doesn't shake it away, instead of letting her place their palms together and intertwining their fingers. "I know you're angry. I know it's justified…. I'll say it again… I'm sorry for putting you in this position, Levi." She rested her head on his chest, eyes cast downwards. Levi doesn't flinch. "Just don't punish Samuel anymore, ok? Do it for me." Levi closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. He places his other hand on her head - combing through strands of blonde hair. There was still dried blood in some strands.

"Fine. But if that brat makes another mista-" "He won't. I promise you he'll be hella disciplined after you punched a tooth out of the poor child." Levi scoffed. They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Levi half-heartedly combing her hair through his fingers and Rosaria brushing her thumb across his hand.

"Levi?" Levi looks down, meeting her eyes. "Thank you. For everything." Levi nods, his hands stopping to comb her hair. "If you want to thank me brat... " Rosaria raised an eyebrow. "You can start by getting a bath." Rosaria paled. "The smell of blood and sweat and grease is all over you." Levi cringed his nose in disgust. Rosaria gaped, immediately letting go of Levi's hand. Her face flushed red in embarrassment as she brought her own hair to her nose and took a sniff, proceeding to almost choke.

"For fuck's sake…. Why did you only tell me now?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> I'm so glad I was able to write these double chapters in 2 days! As mentioned in the previous chapter, I've been feeling a little down with the lack of reviews and well, life in general. So please leave a review! It would mean the world to me!


	8. The Bandages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the lovely people who left reviews! You guys gave me the motivation to write this in 2 days even on workday!

**Chapter 8**

"So how am I supposed to bath?" Rosaria asked, looking at Levi. Levi crossed his arms and leaned in his chair. "You can't get your bandages wet, plus the stitches are still fresh. And your cast…." Levi looked down at Rosaria's right ankle covered in a thick cast. "You won't even be able to stand straight." Rosaria glanced down at her own body. She had put on a very baggy and loose shirt that reached her kneecaps over the various bandages and her underwear before Levi came in. "I guess I can only wipe down for now." Levi nodded. "But I want to wash my hair…. It's so itchy." Levi grimaced in disgust. For a second, he wondered how he was able to comb his fingers through that _dirty_ mess of a scalp.

"I'll bring a stool to the bathroom. You can wipe yourself down." Levi said. "Once you're done I'll ask one of the girls to help you wash your hair. No, you'll need two." Rosaria scowled at the thought. "This sounds like an awful lot of work. And a jab to my womanly pride." Levi scoffed. "You let _me_ touch your womanhood to win a fight. I hardly think you'd mind having other women see you naked." Rosaria choked on her tea. She glared at Levi and felt her face flush.

_God, why do I keep getting embarrassed in front of Levi?_

"Fine. I don't have a choice unless I want to allow my scalp to become a breeding area for lice." Levi grimaced. "Can you help me to the bathroom?" Rosaria asked. Levi set his own cup of tea down and took the empty cup from her hand. He then proceeded to open the bathroom door and bring in a stool. He rolled the ends of his slacks upwards and brought the pail of water next to the stool. He peeked out from the bathroom and looked at Rosaria. "Where's your towel and soap?" Rosaria pointed to the things at the side of her bed. Luca had brought her things to the room while she was unconscious.

Rosaria bit her lower lip to keep in a blush. She watched Levi nonchalantly go through her private belongings and scavenge for two sets of clean towels and a smaller rag. Then he grabbed the small bucket of various soap and feminine products and set it all on the small counter in the bathroom. Once Levi was done, he walked back into the room and looked down at Rosaria.

"So are you going to strip?" Levi asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Rosaria blushed _red_. "I-I…" Rosaria said, unable to look into his eyes. Levi rolled his eyes.

_Of all the times to be embarrassed, you're choosing now?_

"Hurry up, Rosaria. I've burned through precious hours to keep you alive, fed and now _clean_." Rosaria jumped in her bed and gaped. "A-at least turn around…." Levi rolled his eyes once again and obediently turned around, his face now facing the bathroom door. Rosaria gulped, her heart beating too fast to her liking. She quickly untangled the ribbons of her loose medical blouse and slipped it over her head. She then folded it gently on the bed and looked down at her own body.

She hadn't realised the bandages around her chest, torso and arm covered _very little_ of her bare breasts. She cringed. Although the bandages were a few layers, they were sheer and clung to her breasts in awkward angles and she could briefly see the outline of her nipples. Rosaria froze, her head running in all different directions at the situation she found herself in.

_Get it together, Rosaria! It's just your body! Levi's already wasted so much time taking care of you. You can't feel conscious about your body now! Plus, he'll likely be helping you in and out of the bathroom for the next few weeks as well - what difference does it make here?!_

As Rosaria felt the blood rush to her face, Levi cleared his throat.

"Anytime now, Rosaria. It's not like we have titans roaming outside our walls or an enemy nation who wants to kill us, right?" Levi answered, not even flinching or tempted to turn his head. Rosaria slapped herself and hurriedly pulled her underwear off her carefully, avoiding the thick white cast on her ankle. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked down - utterly naked and embarrassed, but she sucked in a deep breath and cleared her throat.

_If I can fight titans, I can fight this. I can fight this. I can-_

"Y-you can turn around….now." Rosaria muttered inaudibly.

_I cannot fight this. Shit. Mission abort. Mission abort-_

It's too late. Levi has already turned his head. His face is still as steely cold and neutral despite his eyes meeting a woman's naked body. In fact, Levi showed more emotion when he was served _cold tea_. He casually walks over to the bed and places his hand on Rosaria's naked back and hooks the other underneath her bare thighs. Rosaria lets out a yelp when Levi rises and she automatically wraps her hands around his neck as he holds her in his arms. Their eyes meet for a second and Rosaria turns red when she notices Levi's eyes glancing towards the now very bare _breasts_ dangled right in front of him.

Still, not an inch of _betrayal_ on Levi's stone-cold face. Rosaria however, was close to a hot mess of titan puke. She couldn't find words out of her mouth as her face flushed, instead, she casually placed her palm over Levi's eyes, covering them effectively. "What the hell are you doing?" Rosaria doesn't answer. "Rosaria, do you think I have a third eye on my back? How else am I supposed to carry you to the bathroom?" Rosaria whimpered in defeat as something inaudible came out of her throat. "You're humanity's strongest! Surely you can carry me to the bathroom without your _eyes_!" Levi growled in annoyance.

"I don't have the time for this, Rosaria. Like it or not, your room is _next_ to mine and that means I'll be dragging your heavy ass to the bathroom for the next few weeks unless you want to shit yourself in your pants." Levi said. "So that means, to make both of our lives easier, we should just get used to the sight of your breasts in front of my face." Rosaria whimpered and bit her lip as if she was a puppy robbed of her favourite toy. Hesitantly, Rosaria removes her hand and meets those same stone-cold grey eyes. Levi looked at her flushed face and smirked.

 _I have to admit, this_ _ **cute**_ _behaviour of hers is something I wouldn't mind seeing more of._

Levi tightened his grip on her thighs and carried her towards the bathroom casually, while Rosaria couldn't even meet Levi's eyes once. Levi set her down on the stool and again, Rosaria felt self-conscious as she was suddenly sitting _naked_ as Levi was staring down at her. Rosaria blushed as she tightened her legs to _stick_ together as close as humanly possible.

Levi sighed, turning his back. "Do you need anything else, brat? If not, I'll leave to go get the other brats to help you wash your hair." Rosaria felt grateful for the small silver of privacy as she finally wasn't subjected to the glare of stone-cold grey eyes. "N-no… Thank you, Levi." Levi nods, not turning his head. He walks towards the door and closes it behind him.

* * *

The days after had passed by in almost the same routine. Levi would barge into Rosaria's room every morning and help her to the bathroom - which wasn't that bad as she would be decently covered and only needed to pee and brush her teeth. Rosaria had already managed to learn how to dress without opening her stitches or wounds as long as she opted for baggy dresses. Then, Levi would carry her down the stairs and set her down at his office table (since Rosaria didn't have her own office as the castle was pretty small) and Levi would leave her for the rest of the day.

Luca or Sam would be Rosaria's little helpers as they fetched her documents and tea as she was forced to work through _mountains_ of paperwork, which was mostly due to Levi's share. The two had an arrangement whereby she'd do Levi's paperwork while he took over and trained her squad members, seeing that she'd be out of commission and wouldn't be able to practice new formations with her squad. In fact, Levi was actually on the winning side because he very much preferred being out in the field rather than doing paperwork, which he was terribly slow at due to the limited education he had received growing up in the underground.

By noon, Sam or one of the guys from Levi Squad would carry her down to the small dining area and when she was done with lunch, she'd be carried back up into the office again. She'd continue with her mundane paperwork until Luca would bring her dinner to her office and then continue with more work until around 9 pm, which she would call it a day.

This is where the problem comes in - or rather where Levi literally barges through the door. Levi would carry her back to her room on the second floor and she'd have to go through the worst kind of torture she had ever endured in her life - _stripping in front of her commanding officer_. By now, she had been used to this already and had managed to throw away the very small pride she had left as a woman. She had long decided that she really couldn't be picky about her situation since she was literally a burden and constantly needed help doing the simplest things, like moving from point A to point B. She had decided that as a soldier and member of the military, rationality was the priority here while her pride and womanhood stood second.

However, there was another _challenge_ today. One she so desperately had sought to avoid. Rosaria puffed her cheeks subconsciously, still trying to form the words in her head. Levi raised an eyebrow, still waiting for her to strip so he could move her to the goddamn bathroom and he'd be able to get it done with. "Corporal…." Rosaria started. "I kind of…. Need help changing the bandages." Levi blinked, he had totally forgotten about this small detail in the long list of things he had to do now because of Rosaria's injury.

"Oh." Came Levi's reply. "So uh… I need your help to undo the bandages. I can apply the dressing myself on some of the wounds, but other places are hard to…" Levi followed her fingers as they scavenged for fresh bandages and some kind of special ointment from a box. "You'll need to sit down." Levi brought a chair from the desk and placed it in front of the bed, directly opposite Rosaria. She then started taking off her baggy dress till she was left with the bandages on her upper body and her black underwear. Still, there was not a sign of betrayal on Levi's face. He had already gotten used to the sight after carrying her all the way to the bathroom the past few days.

"Right… so let's start with the bandages on my right arm. I can't take it off with one hand so if you could help-" Levi held her right wrist and placed it on top of his thigh as he straightened her arm. He then started undoing the knot and unwrapping the layers of bandages. The smell of medicine invades his nostrils but he doesn't cringe, instead, when he's done unwrapping the arm - he takes a good look. The skin of her bicep shows black and blue bruises, while her skin turned a ghost white colour with reddish, orange patches in some parts, and fluid-filled blisters forming in others.

"It hurts like hell, doesn't it?" Levi asked, examining her hand. "It does… I'm on a lot of pain medication... Especially at night since I can't sleep from the pain." Levi furrowed his eyebrows. There was a sudden urge to kick Samuel again. Levi sighed, mentally reminding himself that he couldn't murder the damn kid no matter how much he wanted to. "Oh, here's the dressing. You just have to apply a thin layer with gentle hands." Levi took the container of medicine and looked back at Rosaria with a raised eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure I don't fit the description for gentle hands, brat." Rosaria laughed. "Just try. Don't put too much pressure or else I'll scream and bite your head off like a titan." Levi scowled.

He takes the spatula and spreads a tiny amount of the dressing on the wound, slowly. Surprisingly, Rosaria found that Levi did indeed have 'gentle hands' as she barely hissed at the pain. Barely. It still hurts like a bitch. Once he was done, he took a fresh set of gauze bandages and carefully wrapped it around the arm and secured the knot. "So what's next?" Levi asked. "The bandages on my chest." Rosaria said. "The doctor said my broken ribs would heal by itself in six weeks or so, but bandaging it is vital to give my bones the support it needs to heal." Levi remembered when he broke his ribcage a few years ago on one of the expeditions. It was a painful memory because one of his bones ruptured an aorta. Levi cringed. "So I'll just have to undo it and change new bandages, right?" Rosaria nodded.

Levi scooted his chair closer to her and watched as she raised both of her arms and bent them so her hands were resting on the nape of her neck. Then, she rested her elbow awkwardly on the sides of her skull. Levi met her nervous emerald eyes and he quickly went to work. His hands found the knot of the bandages on her chest quickly and undid them. As they started to unravel, he took the end of the bandages in one hand and scooted closer, placing his face directly in front of her breasts so he could angle his arms and take the bandages from her back then pass it to his other hand in front. As layers of bandages started falling, more skin revealed and the more Rosaria started panicking in her head.

Her face was as if a stone made of Wall Maria. Her eyes didn't blink but her lips trembled with each layer of the bandage undid. Levi's eyes glance towards the soft mounds of flesh inches away from his face as he undid the wrappings. He swallowed thickly. This was the first break in his icy cold facade as he felt something tingling in his blood. He quickly brushed it off, glad that Rosaria's face was facing the opposite side and her eyes were focused on the wall. By the time the bandages fully unravelled, Levi was met with supple mounds of flesh - not too big or too small, the _right_ breast size in Levi's book; and pointy pinkish nipples. Levi cleared his throat, already feeling the blood rushing _south_.

He looked at Rosaria's face, pink flush over her cheeks. Compared to the first time she stripped in front of him, her reaction now was very much subdued but still evidently clear that she was indeed embarrassed. Levi grabbed a new set of bandages from the tray and worked on wrapping her chest again. His calloused fingers brushed the edges of her soft, smooth breast - and he watched as she suppressed a flinch every time his fingers touched hers. He carefully continues to wrap it around her chest, his fingers occasionally brushing against tender skin here and there. Rosaria bit her lower lip, subconsciously inching her legs closer to each other at how nervous she was.

"Is it uncomfortable?" Levi's whisper in Rosaria's ear sends a shockwave of goosebumps down her skin. She gulps. "No…" Levi nods and continues to wrap the bandages until it is fully done and he ties a knot. When Levi steps back to admire his work, Rosaria lets out a big heavy breath of relief she held for too long. Rosaria looked down, feeling instantly more comfortable with a new set of bandages. Levi stood up and moved the old bandages into a bucket.

"Can you finally clean yourself now?" Levi asked. Rosaria nodded and silently took off her underwear and waited for Levi to come closer. At this point, Rosaria has learned that every time she needs to strip in front of Levi she would think of titan blood, titan puke and the disgusting large eyes of titans that she wished she could stab with her blade. That way, she wouldn't freak out in front of her commanding officer. She feels the familiar feel of Levi's fingers on her thighs and back and after a few seconds, she's magically on top of a stool in the bathroom with a pail of water by her legs.

* * *

After a week passed by and the following check-up with the doctor, Rosaria was finally allowed to use crutches. She had never felt so happy to finally be able to goddamn _pee_ without help. However, her walking and distance were very limited since her legs were still weak and the cast was still on. Although Levi didn't have to carry her to the bathroom anymore, he would still have to carry her down the stairs if she wanted to go to the office or the kitchen.

Still, Rosaria saw that as a blessing in disguise because she was finally freed from her torture of stripping in front of her commanding officer. With that said, she was still immensely grateful for the stoic, stone-cold but often misunderstood Corporal for helping her in ways that went beyond his duty and even so far as hindering his own schedule and work. Rosaria had often noticed that the light in his room would still be evident even past midnight, signalling that he was still working. A couple of times in her sleep, Rosaria had spotted Levi coming into her room quietly to use the bathroom at 3 in the morning and then she'd hear him come in again at 5 to get ready for the day. Although Levi never expressed or complained about the backlog in his work due to him taking over the majority of her duties as Captain, Rosaria wasn't dumb. She could see very well that he was sleeping 2 to 3 hours a day and still trained both their squads, attended meetings back in HQ and would ride back to their secret base in Trost to oversee Armin's titan training the next day.

"Captain, I've already sent the food to Corporal's office." Luca said as she peeked through the kitchen door. Rosaria was cleaning up the used pots and wiping down the kitchen thoroughly after use. "Thank you, Luca. He didn't say anything did he?" Luca shook her head. "He just nodded when I placed the plate down on his desk. He didn't even look at it as I left his office." Rosaria sighed. She was hoping for a reaction from Levi. After all, she had just spent close to an hour making dinner for their squads in hopes of using it as a smokescreen to actually please Levi.

"Well, he's probably too busy with work to notice that the food was different from usual anyway." Rosaria said as she placed the dried food back into the cabinets. "You should go rest, Luca. It's been a long day. Once I'm done cleaning up I'll ask one of the boys to carry me back to my room." Luca nodded and left the kitchen.

* * *

Levi scraped the plate with his spoon until every last bit of food was put in his mouth and the plate was squeaky clean. He swallowed the last bite and set the utensils down, sighing in satisfaction. That was easily the best meal he's had in who knows how long. Today's dinner was unusually complex with a serving of mashed potatoes with gravy, green peas and carrots, and a baked loaf of bread with dried meat and herbs in a pureed tomato sauce. He wasn't picky with food considering the environment he was raised, but damn _good_ food really did hit a sore spot. Levi made a note to ask who was on kitchen duty tonight so he could damn well _promote_ the brat and make sure he or she never leaves the Scouts as Levi couldn't fathom having Eren's poor excuse of meatloaf for another year.

Levi gathers the plate and utensils in his hand and walks out of his office towards the stairs. He arrives in the kitchen and opens the door to find Rosaria sleeping on the table. Levi stands there staring at her for a few seconds, observing how her face was placed on top of her good arm as a cushion and how her eyelids closed shut. It's then Levi realizes that it wasn't a brat on his or her team that made dinner, but rather Captain Rosaria herself. He smirks. She wasn't placed on kitchen duty due to her injury so it meant she went out of her way to cook even though it wasn't required of her. He sets the plates and utensils down in the kitchen sink and cleans it.

Rosaria stirs in her sleep, eyes barely opening as she heard the sound of running water. Her head turns slightly to find Levi's back. "C-corporal…?" She asks, sounding extremely sleeping. Levi places the plate on the drying rack and turns, leaning against the counter as he crosses his arms. "Did you like today's dinner?" Rosaria asked, head still against the table as she lazily looked at Levi. Levi nodded. "I'll make sure to tell Hanji to promote you so I can enjoy decent food instead of Eren's disgusting shitty meatloaf." Rosaria laughed hoarsely.

"I'm glad you liked it. I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you've put in because of my injury." Levi blinked. He hadn't expected that. "I know you don't say it but I can tell you're overworked and extremely sleep deprived because you have to take over my duties." Levi clicked his tongue. "I'm not. I'm always sleep-deprived anyway." Levi confessed honestly. Sure he was sleeping less than usual and had to work till the early mornings, but he didn't particularly find it tiring or annoying, nor did he blame Rosaria.

Rosaria blinked sleepily. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to help as much as I can with paperwork. But with my injury… I can't oversee squad training or ride a horse to HQ for meetings." She sighed and closed her eyes. "I hate feeling like a burden." Levi walked in front of her and kneeled down, meeting her eyes. "You're not. Don't make weird assumptions no one ever said." Levi scolded. Rosaria bit her lower lip, feeling oddly touched. Truth be told, not being able to live up to her standards and expectations as a squad leader was tearing her. She was expected to lead a squad on the front lines of war - yet now she could barely walk up the stairs without help.

When Rosaria doesn't respond, Levi glances at her hands. She's holding something in her left fist. "What's that?" Levi asked. "Oh… it's a rag. I clutch it in my palm sometimes because of the pain from the burns. The doctor said I was digging my fingernails into my palm too often so I should use a rag instead." Levi blinked. "The pain medication?" Rosaria shook her head. "It wears off after a few hours and I can't exceed the recommended dosage. Plus, the burns are at the stage where they hurt the most so there really isn't much I can do except bear with it."

"So you were bearing the pain this whole time? And you weren't sleeping just now when I came in?" Levi asked. "Well… I was half-asleep, trying to sleep off the pain." Levi scowled. "You should have told me. I would have reduced your paperwork so you could rest more. And you cooked while you were in so much pain?" Levi didn't sound happy. He didn't like the idea of her putting her health at risk even more than she already has. "Well… It's not like I can't bear it-" Rosaria flinched when Levi stood up and without a moment of hesitation, he slid his hand underneath her thighs and placed the other on her back. He rose up, carrying her easily in his arms.

Rosaria blushed at the sudden close proximity. "C-corporal?" Rosaria asked. Levi didn't answer, he just walked up the stairs until they reached her bedroom and he kicked the door open. He placed her gently on top of the bed and looked down at her with a scowl.

Rosaria paled, unsure of what to make of the situation. If anything, her brain was saying the current situation was taking an _inappropriate_ turn. Before she could jump to conclusions, Levi tucked her in and wrapped the thick blanket over her body.

_Okay, so nothing inappropriate. Why did I even think that? This is the Corporal we're talking about._

Rosaria sighed. "W-what are you doing, Corporal?" Levi scowled deeper. "Making sure you rest, brat. You're already injured as it is, do you think your body is made out of steel?" Rosaria quietly closed her eyes, preparing for a lecture. "If I don't watch over you, you're going to start doing paperwork aren't you?" Rosaria opened her mouth. "Don't lie to me. I've noticed the light in your room up past midnight too." Rosaria closed her mouth shut.

Levi gets the medication from her table and hands it to her, along with a glass of water. Rosaria takes it, gulping down the medicine immediately. She lays back in bed, staring at Levi who was looking down at her. Rosaria gulped uncomfortably. "Corporal…. I can't sleep if you stare at me." Levi didn't react. Instead, he crossed his arms. "Trust me, you can. All you have to do is close your goddamn eyes." Rosaria bit her lower lip. She wondered if there was any other way to politely tell Levi that staring at her while she tried to sleep was definitely going to give her a heart attack instead of peaceful sleep. She closed her eyes and waited for a few minutes to test the theory, and indeed - all she felt was how nervous she was as she could feel Levi glaring at her through her closed eyelids.

"Levi." Rosaria said, opening one eye. He didn't respond. "I can't sleep if you-" Levi grabbed a chair from the desk and pulled it towards the bed. He then went back to his own room and came back with a book. "Here, I'll read. Now go to sleep, brat." Rosaria turned her head, watching Levi read in the dim candlelight peacefully. Surprisingly, she felt her eyelids turn heavy and soon fell asleep. Rosaria drifted off to a deep slumber despite the pain of her injuries for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes:  
> First off, I need to thank all the readers who sincerely left reviews both on and AO3! It really means a lot to me to see all the wonderful compliments and knows that my story resonates with other people and people are excited about the next chapter! To thank all of you (and even the readers who didn't leave a review but silently read this fic) here's our longest chapter to date with 4.5k words! I'm cleaning up the next chapter and it has some NSFW scenes so make sure you hit the 'bookmark' button to read it when it's out!
> 
> As always, please leave a review and till the next chapter!


	9. The Carriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild NSFW scene, you've been warned!

**Chapter 9**

It was raining. Grey clouds covered the sky. Thunder roared, sparks of light flashing. Water pooled at the feet of his horse as it galloped hurriedly, the sounds of water splashing only increasing with each step. His horse then slips from the slippy terrain and falls, bringing Levi down and he slid across the flooded terrain. When he looks up, his whole world seems to pause.

Isabel's beautiful large turquoise eyes stared back at him. But now, they were dull and lifeless - all forms of life drained out from her once beautiful face. Crimson blood soaked the ground as her severed head laid lifelessly. Her bright ruby red strands of hair now a compliment to the crimson red blood staining the ground.

Levi's eyes widened, standing up from the pool of water covering his ankles. Then he's met with a titan - large glassy mischievous eyes staring back at him as its mouth bites onto something. No, Levi knows who it is - it's Farlan's half-eaten body. His best friend since he was a kid in the underground was now reduced to a half-eaten corpse, hanging in between the teeth of a titan as if it were a piece of dried meat. The titan's eyes meet Levi's as if taunting him to come closer. Then, it shakes its head and spits Farlan onto the ground as if it were a dog playing with a broken toy.

Levi stands, hands on top of the hilt of his blades as he was ready to pull them out - but his hands freeze. The blades don't come out of the box. His body is frozen stiff, his muscles taut but unused. Levi watches as the titan smirks, eyes heavy with bloodlust. It approaches him closer but Levi is still frozen, paralysed. Levi grunts, shaking and desperately trying to move his muscles - not to run, but to _kill._ The titan appears in front of him, its smile threatening as its breath touches Levi's face, Levi only feels rage. He wants to rip the titan to shreds until nothing is left of it.

The scenery changes in front of him, the titan now gone and replaced with another. The female titan emerges from the thick cloud of steam on the ground. It's back is against a large tree as its hands lay lifelessly beside its body. Its eyes are bloodied and closed shut and the sound of grapples digging into a tree bark jerks Levi's attention. It's Eld, propelling himself forward as he charged with his blades out, aiming for the female titan's neck from the side. As Eld charges forward, a look of determination on his face and he yells something, his blades briefly touch the skin of the female titan, ready for the kill - but in a flash, the female titan's eye reopens and bites Eld in half. Blood splatters across her chin as Eld drops to the ground, lifeless.

Levi's voice shakes. His breathing is abnormal. He thrashes against air, desperately trying to move his hands and legs - anything to stop the scene before him - but it's futile. He is frozen still. The female titan recovers, standing straight as it sprints through the forest with its eyes on Petra. Petra sprints forward, trying her best to build as much distance as possible - but still, her shaky eyes meet the female titan's. Fear runs coarse through her body as she calculates how the titan could have recovered when she was so sure they took out both her eyes. Then the next second, Petra hears Oluo yelling her name; but it's too late. Panic took over her. The female titan stomps forward and without hesitation, stomps her large foot on Petra as her body crushed against the tree trunk as if she was just an insect.

Levi releases a blood-curdling scream, yelling Petra's name. He thrashes again but his body is useless. He feels his heart clench, his blood boiling. No, no, no - please… not Petra. She can't die-

Oluo charges forward, rage on his face as he watched the woman he loved die in front of him. He goes for the neck like the veteran soldier he is and swings his blade - only to find it broken when a crystal forms on the nape of its neck. His blades break and before he can think, he's kicked by the foot of the female titan and sent flying across the forest until his body snaps as it meets the hard floor.

Levi growls in anger. His teeth snarling at the female titan. The guttural sound from his throat is like a wolf hunting its prey, anger and rage at its rawest form. Levi glares at the female titan, his body now fresh with red marks and blood trickling down his wrists and ankles as if there was an invisible chain holding him down. The female titan smirks, sprinting towards Levi with terrifying speed. Levi thrashes again, doing everything in his power to free himself from whatever that's holding him still as he yells and screams. He wants to kill, to break, to tear limb by limb, to slice the nape of its neck, to stab its eyes, then rearrange its limbs and cut them again - but nothing works. He is still frozen where he stood.

The female titan shifts, now turning into a furry creature that resembles an ape. His eyes glinted in the moonlight, its hands tightened into fists as it grabbed boulders and rocks and flung it across the air. Levi freezes, he watches as the castle crumbles. Nanaba is dead, lying on the floor. Then the scene changes again and he sees Mike screaming, begging - before he is bitten by a smiling titan. The ape titan smirks, taunting Levi.

"You're powerless, Levi. You can only watch your comrades die." The ape titan taunts. Levi yells, screaming at him. His rage reaches a boiling point, his wrists bleeding and a pool of blood forms on the ground. "Look." The ape titan points in the distance and the scenery changes again. Now, it's daylight - but a sea of corpses lay on the green grass. Crimson blood taints the fresh smell of dew. Soldiers everywhere, dead.

A horde of soldiers charges on their horses, charging straight for the ape titan. They yell and scream as rocks crush their bones and horses, leaving a trail of corpses in their way. Still, there are a few that stand. One in particular leads the cavalry, his blonde hair swaying in the wind as he charges straight without an ounce of fear in his eyes.

"Erwin!" Levi yells, voice hoarse. Erwin doesn't hear his yell, he only charges forward. A giant rock is thrown in Erwin's direction, his bones and flesh crush beneath it. Levi screams. Even Levi himself has never heard such a terrifying sound from his throat. It sounds helpless and in despair. _He_ sounds helpless and in despair. The ape titan smirks, smiling wide with its teeth glistening.

"Their deaths won't have meaning, Levi." Zeke says, crawling out of the nape of the ape titan's neck. "All of these people died for you. For you to continue the cause. But look at you…." Levi looks down at himself, knees on the ground. He is powerless. Unable to move. Frozen. "Don't you wish you were dead, Levi?" Zeke asks. Levi finds himself all alone on top of a mountain of corpses. He is the only one alive. The sole survivor. Next to him, he finds Hanji's corpse. Then Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Sasha-

"Why did you let us die, Corporal?" The sweet voice sends shivers down Levi's spine. He knows this voice. It was the voice that called after him for a continuous six years. Levi turns his head, meeting Petra's dead gaze. "Why did you kill us?" Petra asks; her uniform a bloodied mess. Levi pales, unable to scream. The rage he felt earlier had now turned into jaw clenching guilt. His heart felt like it was on fire while his body was frozen stiff.

Petra grabs a blade from her box. She aims it at Levi's neck. "You never returned my feelings." Petra says, raising her arm as the blade faces the sky. "I wish I never followed you to my death." Levi closes his eyes, hearing the swing of the metal in the air. He waits for the pain, the blood, the hurt - the end. The end would finally bring him to a close. The final breath of air that he would take to bring him to hell.

Instead, he hears a clash of metal against metal. He opens one eye, watching as another blade clashes against Petra's blade. His eyes trail to the owner of the blade, her sleeve, then to her scout emblem on her shoulder, then to her jaw, then to emerald green eyes-

* * *

"Levi! Levi!" The voice brings him back to reality. The voice is loud, screaming almost and filled with deep worry. Levi watches as Rosaria shakes his shoulder, slapping him on the face with her entire strength. Levi almost tumbles back, his back hitting the chair. His eyes readjust, focusing on the woman in front of him. Rosaria pants, face inches away from his. Their breaths touching each other's face, both glistened with sweat.

"It's just a nightmare. It's just a nightmare." Rosaria yells, nails digging into Levi's shoulder. He doesn't flinch from the pain. No, he doesn't register pain yet. He's still stuck in his nightmare, memories still fresh. Petra tried to kill him. He failed. Humanity failed- "Don't!" Rosaria yells. Her eyes are a fierce green now, something Levi has never seen before. "Don't go back to that nightmare. You're here. Safe. In Trost with your team and mine." Rosaria coos, her fingers stroking his back. Rosaria drags Levi over to the bed and tucks him in. She lifts his head and places it on her chest.

Levi can hear her rapid heartbeat. Beating, alive. "You're safe, Levi." She coos again, drawing circles on his back. "You didn't fail them. Humanity hasn't lost." Levi lets the tears flow down his eyes. He's still stuck in his dream-like state. He doesn't know if this is yet another dream or a version of a nightmare that has yet to come to head. Still, it feels warm. It feels safe. So he lets his eyes close shut, the tears stopping.

"Their deaths will have meaning, Levi." Rosaria whispers. They both fall back to sleep in each other's arms.

* * *

Levi awakens feeling oddly refreshed. His eyes were terribly dry and his throat hoarse. What had he been doing the night before? It felt as if he just came back from war- Levi blinks when he turns his head, his eyes meeting the closed eyelids of Rosaria's. Levi pales, trying to think of _why_ he was in his subordinate's bed. He realises his head was loosely placed on her small chest, his black hair against her smooth skin. Levi slowly raises the blanket around them, peeking under the blankets. He lets out a sigh of relief when he confirms they are _both_ fully clothed. In fact, Levi was still in his uniform.

He grimaced at the realization. How could he have fallen asleep in his dirty uniform? His eyes wander to Rosaria's eyelashes, wondering for the second time if a woman's eyelashes were usually this long. He's reminded of the time in that snowy cabin in winter. How they held each other to sleep. Levi gulped thickly.

_This is bad._

Levi was ashamed of himself. Although nothing _inappropriate_ had happened last night, sleeping in his subordinate's bed was bound to bring a shitload of nasty rumours if anyone found out. He wasn't even sure how he ended up here. Wasn't he on the chair reading? Maybe he dozed off and somehow stumbled into her bed? Levi shook his head and sighed. He was getting way too _comfortable_ with Rosaria. He knew he was closer than usual to her, but he assumed it was normal. Now, Levi confirms that it has indeed reached an alarming level of _attachment_ \- something that he was always careful about, especially with his line of work.

Levi raised his head, ready to go back to his room and put all this behind him when he was suddenly met with piercing green eyes. Rosaria blushed, eyes wide as she stared at him. Levi paled, unsure of what to say. Their faces were inches apart, hair and clothes messy. Rosaria's mouth opened and then she closed it. She averted his gaze and brought the blanket to her head, covering herself completely as she rolled over the bed with the blanket as if she was a burrito. She then rolls _away_ from Levi, hovering at the edge of the bed completely covered in the blanket.

Levi finds himself at a loss for words as he feels strangely angry.

_Why is she distancing herself away from me? Am I that repulsive?_

Levi glares daggers at Rosaria, arms crossed over his chest. "Oi." He says. There's no response. "Oi, brat. Answer me." Rosaria doesn't move, pretending that she doesn't exist in this exact moment. Levi gritted his teeth. He grabs the edge of the blanket and yanks it. Rosaria yanks it back and the two end up in a tug of war. "Let go!" Levi growls. Rosaria glares. "No! It's my blanket!" Levi snarls his teeth.

_What exactly is she trying to do?! Is waking up in the same bed as me such a horrifying thing?_

"I said let go, Rosaria! That's an order!" Rosaria fights back, yanking the blanket as if her life depended on it. Her face flushed red from a mixture of embarrassment and blood rushing to her face as she pulled with all her strength. "I said let go-" Levi's words stop halfway when he watches Rosaria about to fall off the edge of the bed. Levi's eyes widened and his legs moved on their own, knees on the bed as his hands caught Rosaria's waist swiftly, preventing her from falling and injuring her ankle.

A second later, a _moan_ escapes Rosaria's lips as their eyes meet. Levi blinks, wondering if he heard wrong. Then he realizes his fingers are touching something _soft._ His eyes wander downwards to see his fingers on top of Rosaria's left breast - rather, his fingers were roughly brushed against her nipple against the thin material of her dress.

Levi gulped, watching as Rosaria's face turned lifeless. He felt the blood rushing towards his abdomen and his mind blanked. Scratch being too _comfortable_ with Rosaria, things were now _sexually_ tense with her. Levi swallowed thickly, his fingers still on the soft mound of flesh. His mind blanked, unsure if it was because he _didn't_ want to move his hands or pure shock since he hadn't touched a woman in how many years-

A loud knock at the door echoed throughout the room. Their hearts almost jumped out of their chest. "Captain, have you seen Corporal Levi? I knocked on his bedroom door but found it empty. He's not usually late…." Eren's voice came through the door. Levi gaped. Had it already been this late? He didn't even know the tim-

"Captain? Are you there?" Levi's heart jumped in his chest. The doorknob turns slightly and Rosaria's yell brings Levi to his senses. "Stop right there Eren!" Rosaria yelled through a forced voice of superiority. The door never opens. "E-eh? Is- something wrong-" "Unless you want to walk in on me naked, you better stand where you are!" Rosaria yelled, her nails digging into Levi's hand on her breast. She glares at Levi, teeth snarling.

"I-I'm s-sorry, captain! I'll go look for Corporal Levi outside!" Eren shouted, quickly retreating. When his footsteps can be heard creaking on the stairs, Rosaria lets out a breath of relief. "Until when are you going to grope me, Corporal?" Rosaria said through gritted teeth. Levi immediately released his grip, eyes blinking. "S-sorry." Levi muttered. Rosaria bit her lower lip, clearly unamused. She glares at Levi with tears in her eyes and proceeds to grab her crutches, dragging herself to the bathroom.

Levi is left standing alone in her room, extremely confused and dishevelled.

* * *

"It's strange. Why hasn't Marley attacked us? It's been over a year since the battle in Shiganshina." Hanji said, her fingers tapping on the table. "Who knows? Maybe they got scared." Levi answered calmly, sipping on his tea. His eyes briefly meet Rosaria's across the table. "We've been training our troops to kill both humans and titans for the past year and we've come a long way, especially now that all three military factions are now a united force under Premier Zackaley's guidance. The people support and trust us, and we now have a true Reiss queen on the top. Paradis is at an era of change, an era where we fight for freedom after more than a hundred years of lies and betrayals and wrongful deaths." Rosaria speaks, her arms crossed as she meets the other squad leaders' gaze.

"Yet, if Marley chose to knock on our doors right this moment - we would undoubtedly perish. They have five titan shifters and who knows how many troops of soldiers and technological advancements." Hanji nodded, her fingers knotted together on top of the table. "I propose to build a base beyond the walls. Near the shore where the ocean is."

Lobov sighs. "That's unheard of. Building a base beyond the walls sounds redundant. If Marley does invade, that base would be the first to crumble. There are no _walls_ to protect it at the very least." Rosaria nods. "Commander Lobov, you have great experience leading the Garrison before joining the Scouts. I've always looked up to you as I heard many brave stories of your feats from Pixis when I was under his guidance." Rosaria shifts in her seat. "But I think you're forgetting that _walls_ can be broken easily."

A sheen covers her emerald green eyes. "Even our HQ in Wall Sina can be reduced to ash if Marley wished for it. We need to think two steps ahead because Marley is already ten steps ahead of us." Lobov stayed quiet. "This base, it's the front lines of our formation. If Marley invades, where do you think they'd come first? Break the walls like the armoured titan did six years ago?" Armin asked, sitting at the front of the table. Everyone stays silent for a few seconds as they think about the answer.

"No. They have to cross the ocean. That's their first point of contact with Paradis." Levi answered. "Exactly. This is why it's crucial we _stop_ them before they can get to the walls. Eliminating our enemies at the earliest opportunity will greatly increase our chances of survival." Armin and Rosaria nodded. Hanji folded the papers on the table. "It's settled then. We move forward with the plan to build Paradis' first base beyond the walls." Everyone looks up at Hanji.

"I'll bring this up to Pixis and Zackly. They might not be thrilled at first, but if it's for Paradis' survival - they'll agree." Levi nodded. "By next week, we should get clearance for us to move the necessary equipment to build our base beyond the walls." Rosaria tilted her head. "I'm assuming we'll be moving 50% of our personnel to the base? How do we decide which squads move and which stay at HQ?" Rosaria asked. "Squad two to eight - make the necessary preparations to move. This includes Levi Squad as well, and of course our two titan shifters. They will be our trump cards for when Marley does attack." Armin nods.

"The remaining stay at HQ as per usual." The other squad leaders nod, scribbling notes in their papers. "Meeting dismissed. Good job Captain Rosaria, and Armin." Hanji said, smiling. "The pleasure is all Captain's. We were discussing it the other day and she proposed the idea." Armin said. "Armin deserves credit as well. He's the strategist of the Scouts. I sincerely believe he has the potential to live up to Erwin's name." Armin's eyes cast downwards to the ground, almost guilty. Rosaria and Hanji each place a hand behind Armin's back.

"Speaking of which, you sure have grown taller Armin." Hanji said. Armin blushed. "You're taller than me now." Levi raised an eyebrow. "You must easily be two heads taller than Levi!" Levi clicked his tongue and glared at Armin. Armin paled. "Oh, how're your injuries, Rosaria?" Hanji asked. Rosaria sighed, grabbing her crutches. "Doctor said it's gonna be another 4 weeks at least before I can take off the cast." Levi frowned, looking at Rosaria's cast.

"Corporal Levi has been a big help though. He has become my human crutch and helps me up and down the stairs in our base at Trost." Hanji's eyes glistened in the dark. "Oh… Really…." Hanji smirked, adjusting her glasses. "So who helps you to the bathroom and all?" Hanji asked. "Oh, Levi does." Hanji further smirked. "So you have to strip in front of him?" Hanji asked again.

Rosaria blinked. "Well, I don't have a choice. Our rooms are next to each other. And we share the bathroom. The kids are on the first floor and it's far too inconvenient-" Hanji laughed. She grabbed Levi's shoulder and hooked her arm around him, their faces inches apart. "My, Levi. Didn't take you for such a _responsible_ commanding officer." Levi grunted, already well aware of what Hanji was hinting at. "I'm sure you're a _hardworking_ commanding officer as well by getting hard-" Levi's elbow lodges straight into Hanji's throat, choking her.

"Hanji-san!" Armin yelled, holding Hanji in his arms. "Sorry, my hand slipped." Levi answered. Rosaria shook her head and stroked Hanji's back calmingly.

* * *

"Does it hurt?" Levi's voice breaks the comfortable silence in the carriage. Levi sat across Rosaria, the two alone in the carriage heading back to Trost. "Ah… My ankle's getting better. My ribs too - breathing doesn't feel so challenging anymore. The burns on the other hand…" Rosaria leaned into the cushions. "They still hurt… but I'm more worried about the scars." Levi raised an eyebrow. Usually, they would have just ridden on horseback but with Rosaria's ankle, riding was impossible.

Levi met her eyes as if silently asking her why. "Well…. I know I'm a soldier so scars are something that comes with the job. In fact, before the injury, I already had tons accumulated over the years." Rosaria fumbled with her fingers. "But I guess I'm still a woman. Having obvious scars on the majority of my body will allow others to look down on me. Men especially." Levi scowled. "Why the hell do you care what strangers think? They're just scars." Rosaria sighed. "You're a man, Corporal. It's different for women. Normal women would have freaked out if they were in my situation because no man would want to marry them and they'd be treated like freaks and out of a job." She fumbled with her fingers again. "I'm lucky that I'm way beyond the age of getting married and have accepted that I'll die a soldier; so I'm not that bothered by the scars. Still, it's not something I'd be proud to show off I guess no matter how much I tell myself I shouldn't behave like this."

Levi scoffed. "Well, any guy who turns you down regardless if you have a couple of scars or not is a fucking joke. You're beautiful, strong, kind and can cook the best _meatloaf_ I've ever had in my life. If anything, men should be licking your toes for a chance to be your husband." Levi answered honestly. In fact, he was a little pissed that there would be stupid men out there who would _turn down_ the woman in front of him. She was young, still young in Levi's book - stunningly beautiful too. He's seen the way the _brats_ on his team stare at her when she's wearing a sports bra or the occasional sundress. Hell, even Levi himself stole a few glances when no one was looking.

Rosaria blushed, licking her lips nervously. "You're over exaggerating, Corporal. You're just saying that because you have a good heart." Levi rolled his eyes. "Not everyone has a good heart like you, Corporal. You'd be surprised there are a lot of cruel people out there." Levi crossed his arms. "I'm the last person in these three walls to have a good heart, Rosaria." Rosaria snorted. "No, I'm right. I knew from the first time we met that you have a good heart." Levi raised an eyebrow. "I've killed. I've tortured. I've done a hell lot of crimes that would have resulted in the MP throwing me behind bars if it weren't for Erwin." Levi was building a strong case for himself. "Yes, I know. I knew you grew up in the underground. I've heard your stories here and there…" Rosaria nodded her head.

"It doesn't change the fact that you've done plenty of bad things…. But I know you have a good heart. There's kindness in you. Loyalty. Empathy. Compassion. You value your comrades' life above all else. You... " Levi watched her struggle to find the right words. "You feel guilty don't you?" Her eyes meet stone-cold eyes, shock glazed over the usual calmness instead. Levi doesn't respond.

"Survivor's guilt. It's only natural considering you lost so many comrades. Hell, there were only _nine_ surviving members after the battle at Shiganshina." Rosaria averts her gaze, staring out the window. "That night… when you dozed off on the chair in my room." The sentence catches Levi's attention. "You were having a nightmare. You probably don't remember it…. But you were screaming, yelling - it was like you were in agony. Most of the time I couldn't make out what you were saying because you were grinding your teeth so hard but I'd heard the murderous aura in your grunts and yells. You were clenching the sheets so hard that there was a hole." Levi blinked. He didn't remember having a nightmare. When did this happen?

"At first, it seemed like you were out for blood. You were thrashing, screaming - trying to kill someone or something. Then, all of a sudden you turned… lifeless. You stood still, frozen almost. You didn't fight. You didn't resist. Instead, you…" Rosaria takes a shaky breath, her fingers clenched into a fist. "...you waited for death with open arms." Levi's eyes widened. He felt a tremor in his blood. Had he really… awaited death? Even if it was just a dream… Levi never gave up. He just kept on fighting, moving forward - trying to find meaning to the deaths of the people he lost.

Rosaria places a hand on Levi's left hand, resting on top of his thigh. "Only a man with a good heart would feel guilty about living, Levi." Her eyes met his. "Only a man with a good heart would stand up over and over, swearing to continue the fight his dead comrades gave their lives to - no matter how many corpses he's had to bury." Levi lets out a shaky breath. "The people you lost… they know you have a good heart too." Rosaria smiles. "They wouldn't want you to feel guilty. They'd want you to live a good life and be happy." Levi's mouth gapes slightly open, unsure of what to say. "Their deaths will have meaning. We just have to believe it till the end." Rosaria looks out the window, briefly wondering about the people she lost since the fall of Wall Maria.

Levi sat there, unable to find the right words in his throat. He had never felt this vulnerable. He had never been so bare and naked with his weaknesses laid out in front of him. He was careful, always keeping others at a distance. Not too close, not too far. In fact, four-eyes Hanji was probably the closest friend he had. After all, she had been there since Farlan and Isabel's death. So the situation in front of him confused him. No, rather the _woman_ in front of him confused him.

She always had a knack for slipping into the cracks of his locked heart. Finding ways to get closer to him subconsciously. Allowing him to be comfortable with her presence. She brought out a vulnerable side to his usually stone-cold, stoic and unbreakable facade. She dug into the feelings he kept away deep in his locked heart. She'd say things that would make _something_ shift in him. Something deep inside of him. And he'd find himself exposed and vulnerable unlike he has ever been in his life. Levi thinks back to the time when she was sleep talking and in a dream-like state due to heavy medication from her fresh injuries - the few words she muttered incoherently while she was _sleep talking_ actually made Levi cry. The more Levi thought about it, the more he felt how _stupid_ he was. How could he have cried like that? He was lucky that Rosaria didn't remember it but still, having his emotions and feelings so _exposed_ didn't feel right.

Levi swallowed thickly, hand still underneath hers. Their eyes meet again and Levi feels a spark in his blood. Despite all of his reservations… Levi didn't hate it. He didn't hate how she made him feel. In fact, he'd be different from his usual self - chatty - he'd find himself talking a lot more around her subconsciously, playful - he enjoyed teasing her and seeing her unique reactions and awkward blushes, they would always make his heart jump a little, kind - he was more easy-going on the brats, something he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Being _soft_ wasn't exactly something he wanted, especially in his line of work.

"Levi? You have this weird look on your face." Rosaria said. Levi felt his fingers twitch, his throat suddenly dry. Levi couldn't understand. Why did he feel so conflicted when it came to the woman in front of him? He couldn't decide if he _hated_ her, or _wanted_ her-

"As you like to put it, you have this face where 'you have a hard shit stuck in your ass that won't come out no matter how hard you push-" Levi raises his free hand unknowingly. It lands on Rosaria's chin as his thumb grazes her smooth cheek. Rosaria's eyes widened. Levi strokes her chin gently, looking into her eyes with a deep gaze. Their eyes never break contact, even as Levi slowly leans forward. Levi's breath tickles Rosaria's nose, but before she can even register the feeling - Levi's lips are on hers.

Levi presses into her soft, velvet lips. Seconds pass, both of their eyes gazing into each other. Rosaria flutters her eyelashes, subconsciously closing her eyelids halfway as she leaned into the kiss. Levi takes this as an opening, leaning closer towards her and slipping his tongue into her mouth. Rosaria lets out a surprised gasp. Levi swirls his tongue on the roof of her mouth, then across her teeth and then slowly, finding her own tongue and lets it tangle with his. When Rosaria moans into the kiss, Levi goes deeper - his tongue fighting for control as it swirled with her tongue and teased every fibre of it. His other hand slips out from underneath Rosaria's hand and finds its place on the curve of her small waist.

Levi remembers this waist very clearly. It's the same small waist that straddled his hips innocently and awakened his sexual desire in his room one night. It's the same waist that he places his hands on, feeling the curve of her bones and the smoothness of her skin. God, Levi loved her waist as much as he loved tea.

His kiss became rougher and deeper, igniting another moan from her. Her face is flushed, hands awkwardly placed beside her now. Levi moves his fingers from her chin to the back of her ear, gently stroking the sensitive skin behind it. She flinches, back arching slightly as she lets out a tiny moan. Levi smirks in the kiss, grazing his thumb across her ear slowly and gracefully. In response, he sees her shake slightly and her breath hitches. Levi bites her lower lip, taking it in his own mouth then teasingly releases his grip on it, letting the plump red lips bounce back. His tongue goes deeper again, inciting a loud moan from Rosaria as she places her hands on Levi's neck.

The motion is enough to set Levi on fire. He's suddenly placed a hand on her butt, a soft pillowy feeling that he wished he could bury his face in - and then with the other hand on her waist; he pulls her body towards him. She sits on his lap, straddling his hips awkwardly in the small space of the carriage. Levi is careful of her ankle, putting a hand on her thigh as he stroked it through the material of her standard green coat as if he was trying to alert her to be careful of her ankle. Instead, he hears a seducing, high-pitched moan from her. She leans into his chest, their chests touching. Levi is briefly reminded of the soft mounds of flesh he saw. How supple they looked, how smooth her skin was, how perfectly rounded they were, how her pointy nipples bulged from her beautiful milky breasts. Gods, he remembered how _hard_ he was when he saw the sight. It took years of training to successfully hide the erection and the lust on his face then and there.

Without realizing it, Levi let out a low growl from his throat. It surprised even himself. Rosaria responded back by grinding her hips into his as her tongue swirled against his. Levi could feel the blood rushing to his abdomen, how the pressure was making his pants insufferably tight. Her hands grazed against the naked skin of his neck, brushing gently. She draws her thumb up and down against his flesh, enticing him further. He briefly wondered what those gentle fingers would feel like on his erection, the image vivid in his mind. He remembered the feeling of those fingers on his shoulders and back as she massaged the fatigue away from his body. He had no doubt that they'd be able to do an equally good job at making him com-

The sounds of footsteps bring both of them back to reality. Levi pulls his mouth away from hers, shock replacing the lust in his head now. His ears perk up, catching the footsteps of the rider circling from the front of the carriage and slowly towards the door. He suddenly realized that they're back in Trost and they hadn't even noticed the carriage stopped. He looks down, glancing at Rosaria's embarrassed green eyes and her flushed cheeks.

He feels a deep feeling in his chest. Something familiar. Something he feels whenever he returns from battle and the corpses of his comrades weighs heavily on his mind.

Levi pushes Rosaria off, setting her down on the seat. He gets up, a hand on the handle of the door as he twists it open. He opens the door, stepping out almost immediately. He doesn't turn his head nor call out for his subordinate in the back. Yes, his _subordinate_. He was reminded that he was indeed her commanding officer at that exact moment. He can feel Rosaria's gaze through the open door on his back. Still, he doesn't turn. He walks forward like the veteran soldier he is.

He remembers the feeling now, the familiar feeling in his chest.

_**Regret.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes:
> 
> I can already tell you either hate me or love me. Well, I would too if I were in your shoes. This is actually my first time writing NSFW, albeit a mild one - and I'm surprised it came so naturally without me having to refer to anything. I guess it proves I am indeed dirty as Levi would like to call it. This chapter is our longest to date with 6K words.
> 
> Well, I'm about to update the tags to smut now and please leave a review as always!


	10. The First Base Outside the Walls

**Chapter 10**

"Put your backs into it, soldiers. We still have way more supplies to unload." Rosaria yelled, leaning against the wall as she balanced herself with the help of her crutches. Squadrons of soldiers were busy unloading supplies and building tents at their first base outside the walls. It took two weeks but they were finally here….. Humanity's first base outside the walls. "Think about the dinner, cadets. We're having stew with bird meat tonight!" Rosaria announced as she looked through her checklist and supervised more and more transportation of supplies. The soldiers cheered, the reward of _meat_ making their arms and legs move faster.

She looked around the base, still no sign of a certain raven-haired Corporal. She sighed and placed her papers down, sitting down on a small stool Samuel had brought her.

_That's right, it's been two weeks already._

Rosaria felt something heavy in her chest. After the passionate exchange between her and Levi in the carriage back to Trost, he had barely said anything to her other than a few words here and there related to business. Rosaria knew that Levi wasn't addressing what happened between them, and it was clear that he regretted it. She crossed her arms, feeling even more down than she had been for the past two weeks.

_Was it really just a mistake? Was that all he saw me as? A moment of sexual attraction?_

Rosaria played back all the memories they shared throughout their time together. Surely, it couldn't have been that shallow right? Rosaria's eyes glazed over with worry. She had known that she started having feelings for Levi for a while now… but she tried to push it away. Rosaria herself had thought that maybe it was just sexual attraction between them. After all, Levi did have the most amazing looking abs under his shirt and the most soft-looking raven hair that she oh so desperately wanted to run her fingers through his undercut. But after two weeks of business only conversation - she felt empty. She didn't realise just how _close_ she was to Levi. How she would literally talk to him and bother him every single day, even if it wasn't for work. She'd make tea for him, talk to him about random things, eat lunch together… and especially after her injury, they were closer than ever.

It was clear for Rosaria, that the feelings she had towards Levi weren't just sexual. It was something deeper, stronger and more vulnerable. The talks they had, how they each opened up about their own insecurities, guilt, grief - it was beyond friends. And Rosaria knew Levi felt the same too - or so she had _thought_.

"Captain. You've been dozing out the whole hour. Does your ankle hurt?" Samuel asked, standing in front of Rosaria. He was fully healed from his injuries now, except for the tooth Levi kicked out of his mouth. Rosaria blinked. "Ah….. no… It's not the injuries. Could you help bring my things into my tent? I'd like to rest for a bit." Samuel nodded and headed over to grab her things.

Rosaria held her crutch, slowly making her way towards her tent as she was still deep in thought about Levi.

* * *

Levi was sitting on top of a tree bark they had cut this morning to serve as a bench. The night was dark and there was a small fire in the middle of the camp. Tents were fully built and functional and everyone has gathered around for dinner after a long day of work. His squad was already chowing down the stew at the end of the makeshift bench, Sasha obviously eating like her life depended on it. Levi balanced the cup on his kneecap, finishing his tea. He narrowed his eyes, gazing at the woman in the makeshift kitchen area.

Rosaria stirred the pot of stew and distributed it into bowls. She had an apron on and was sitting on a stool, her ankle still in a thick cast. She was smiling, making conversation with Armin as he helped her hand out the bowls to the soldiers lined up for dinner. Levi felt his mood turn sour as he watched the two lean in and exchanged words.

_Had she always been so close with that brat?_

The thought surprised even himself. Since when did he care what her relationship with other people was like? It was none of his business. Rosaria didn't go around asking about Levi's relationship with anyone, so what gave him the right to judge? It's not like they were together, right?

Levi sighed. The feeling of his fingers against her skin and the soft touch of her lips as their tongues melted together was still clear in his mind. He could still imagine the ghost of her fingertips against his neck, pressing into his tense muscles. No matter how much he wanted to, Levi just couldn't seem to shake the memory out of his head. Levi believed it was just a moment of weakness, that he was just sexually motivated at the time - but if that was so, why was it so hard for him to forget the heated and passionate exchange?

Levi knew the actions he made that day was impulsive. It was a line he should never have crossed. How could he have _touched_ his subordinate like that? Especially, someone close to him and would have reason to meet him often. Levi is Rosaria's commanding officer after all. If Rosaria wished, Levi could be immediately charged with sexual assault and removed from the military; or if word had got out that they were having an inappropriate relationship, Rosaria would be forced to transfer to cover up his mistake. Levi scowled, hating the idea. He knew full well how much of a dedicated soldier Rosaria was. His selfish mistake could end up destroying her entire career.

_I've already fucked up. I can't drag her further into this._

"Corporal. Here's your stew." Armin said, passing a bowl of hot stew to Levi as he walked over. Levi looked up, surprised. "Thank you." Armin nodded. "There's extra bread for you, courtesy of Captain Rosaria." Armin said, pointing to Rosaria's back. Levi looked over, watching as Rosaria focused on pouring the stew into more bowls. He looked down at the warm and tasty looking stew with bird meat inside, his stomach growling. By the side of the plate, there was a giant loaf of sliced bread.

_She's always spoiling me. Even now, when I obviously hurt her._

Levi took the spoon and stirred the stew, putting a mouthful into his mouth. As expected, it tasted amazing. Levi's is reminded of the meal she cooked at their base in Trost a few weeks ago and he feels something shift in his chest. He hadn't realized it before, but Rosaria was always very caring towards him. She'd always make him tea, she even gave him a china teapot, prepared meals for him and made sure he would always eat it. She was too good for this world, and Levi swore that he'd protect her no matter the cost. That was the one thing he was sure of in this cruel world.

And yet, Levi found himself hurting the one person he'd swore to always protect.

* * *

"Corporal, it's me. Can I come in?" A voice sounded from outside the tent. Levi looked up from his paperwork and blinked.

_I was expecting her to come, but not so soon…._

Levi sighed, pinching the skin between his eyebrows. He gets up from his chair and dusts the invisible dust off his uniform. "Come in." Levi sounded normal as usual, not an inch of hesitation; even when he met emerald eyes that sent sparks down his spine. "Corporal." Rosaria speaks, holding her crutches. Levi's eyes quickly scan her from head to toe, noting that he hadn't seen her in formal uniform since she first injured herself. The memory of the blood-soaked uniform plays in the back of his head but he pushes it away and plays the stoic, neutral and cold corporal like he always does.

"Can we talk?" Rosaria asks. Her eyes look tired as if something had been bothering her for the past few weeks. Levi nods, gesturing to the chair that was at the table he was using earlier. "Sit." Levi ordered. Rosaria licked her lips, looking towards the ground. "I'm fine standing. It doesn't hurt that much anyway." Levi could tell she was lying. With the increased movement and supervising around their new base, her injury was sure to heal even slower. At first, Levi was against having Rosaria come with them, he wanted her to heal back in Trost instead of being inside vulnerable territory where they had to be prepared for anything. After all, every soldier was ordered to have their gear on with them at all times now. And here she was - barely able to run if Marley suddenly decided to attack them. She wouldn't be able to use her gear nor defend herself. The image of her lifeless and bleeding out on the tree bark plays in Levi's head and he clenches his fist. The idea of Rosaria being exposed to so much danger and unable to protect herself stirred something in him.

"Fine, but don't complain to me when you get tired." Levi says, crossing his arms. He takes a seat in the chair and faces Rosaria, waiting for her to speak. It's the first time he's seen Rosaria struggle so much to find the right words in front of him. She avoided his gaze and looked downright uncomfortable. Levi gulped, knowing how hard it must have been for her after what _he_ did. "About…. That day, in the carriage back to Trost." She finds the courage to start, her eyes still locked on the ground. "Was that all a mistake?" Rosaria bites her lower lip.

A long silence ensues and neither has the courage to answer. Levi looks at her, opening his mouth. "What happened between us that day… it was _my_ mistake." The words make Rosaria flinch, her eyes looking at him with hurt. "I shouldn't have done that. Especially as your commanding officer. It was unprofessional and shouldn't be tolerated." Levi licks his dry lips, feeling his throat tense. "I'm sorry, Rosaria." Rosaria's lips shake slightly, her throat bobbing. She opens her mouth but no words form and she just stares at Levi, unsure how to react.

"Rosaria?" Her reaction scared Levi. She had had this calm, easy-going and talkative presence. Now, she seemed _scared_ of him. "Was that all I was to you? A mistake?" Her eyes burn into his grey orbs, a mixture of hurt, anger and pain reflected in them. "If things had continued and we had sex - would it still have been a mistake?" Her voice was louder now, anger seething into her tone. "Would it still end up with you discarding me like a one night stand? Am I worth so little?" Rosaria asked, biting down on her lip as she yelled. Tears started dripping down her pale face as she glared at Levi.

Levi gulped, swallowing thickly. He sighed, looking downwards on the ground now. "It's complicated, Rosaria. You're a soldier too. You and I both know romantic feelings will only complicate things in a world like ours." Levi said. Rosaria looked at him with disappointment. More tears flowing down her face. Levi wanted to wipe her tears away, like the time he did when she awoke from her injury. Since that day, Levi was overcome with the duty to protect her to the best of his ability. He never wanted to see her hurt again, physically nor emotionally. Yet now, he was breaking his own promise to himself as he watched those hurt green eyes stare back at him.

"I'm not fragile, Levi. I swore my life to this cause. To the Scouts. To Paradis." Rosaria said, clenching her fists. "I know romantic feelings in the military is difficult, it complicates things. Hell, why do you think I was single after my fiance died?" Her voice sounded sarcastic as hurt laced her every word. Levi was surprised, he didn't know she was engaged once. "I, of all people, know the pain of losing the person you love and swore your life to." Rosaria looked angry now, glaring at him. "But what I'm angry about is not that you don't want a relationship with me, Levi. I'm not a child." Levi was confused now. Then why was she so angry? Why did she look at him with so much hurt and hate in those beautiful eyes?

She takes a deep breath before she opens her mouth. "I'm angry that after all the things we've been through, you're lying to me." Levi's eyes widened. "Do you remember the night I woke up from my injury? What you made me promise?" Levi licks his lips. "Of course. I made you promise that you wouldn't die before me." Levi replied almost instantly. "Considering the weight of that promise, the memories we share, the bond we made…. How could you lie to me and run away from the feelings you have towards me and…. And reduce me to something as shallow as a mistake?" Rosaria yelled, anger in her voice.

Levi sat there in silence, guilt forming in his gut. He couldn't find the words to answer. "Are the feelings you have towards me really that shallow? Do you really not feel anything towards me? Do you only like me for the feel of my lips and the curves of my hips?" Rosaria's voice broke. She couldn't understand why she felt so angry and hurt. They were old enough to accept that romantic feelings weren't always returned, they were soldiers first after all. But now, Rosaria felt like she was reduced to a girl back in the cadet training corps. She felt conflicted and scared, and Levi not addressing things only intensified those feelings of uncertainty.

"No- that's not what I mean-" Levi argued. "Then why are you pushing me away? Why are you keeping me at arm's length, as if you are afraid of hurting me?" Rosaria asked, pleading with her voice. Levi falls silent. "The promise you asked me to make…. Isn't that proof that you feel something _more_ towards me? And that you're pushing me away because it's easier when I eventually die?" Levi stuns, eyes widened. He knows Rosaria hit the nail in the coffin. She was absolutely right. Levi knew that in this world, the people around him would eventually die. He wouldn't be able to save them. He was scared of attachment. He didn't want to start something with Rosaria only to eventually come back to only a corpse on his doorstep.

"I know… you lost a lot of people. And… I'll never be able to understand that pain." Rosaria says, her voice calmer now. "Maybe that's why it's easy for me to admit my feelings, to allow attachment as compared to you…. " Rosaria sighed. "But I thought that with everything we've been through…. you wouldn't push me away. At least not like this." Levi could feel the disappointment in her voice.

"I'm not expecting you to jump at me with open arms for a relationship, Levi. I'm not like other girls." Rosaria laughed to herself. "But I thought you could be honest with me about how you felt towards me. That you could be upfront about it and tell me that it's better if we keep things professional. Not, not just… brush me way after making out with me, you know?" Her voice broke again. Levi bit his lip until it drew blood in his mouth. "It hurts. To feel like a discarded toy. Especially when it's the man you love." Levi's eyes widened. He looks up, meeting her eyes.

"I didn't think I was capable of loving anyone else after my fiance died. I was prepared to die alone. But you…. You proved me wrong." She smiled, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I know I don't mean a lot to you. That at the end of the day, I'm just your subordinate. You may feel something for me, but it's not as deep as what I feel for you. The feelings you have for me… can be easily discarded." Levi grunts, angry. "That's not true. I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth, brat." Rosaria remained silent, shaking her head. "If that's not true, then why are we in this situation right now?" Levi clicked his tongue, closing his eyes.

"I may not be _special_ to you, Levi. But please… don't treat me like a whore. After everything we've been through, that's the least you can do, isn't it?" Levi gulped, feeling the immense need to hit something. He was angry, mostly at himself. "I respect your decision to keep what happened a secret and bury it under the rug. It was a… mistake after all." The words sound harsh and forced from her throat. Levi stared at the ground, unable to meet her eyes. "But let's try not to let it influence our professional relationship. We'll make others uncomfortable if we both behave like this." Rosaria wiped the tears away from her face.

"That's all I came to say. Goodnight, Corporal." Rosaria clutched her crutches and turned her back towards Levi, heading for the opening of the tent. Levi turns his head, watching her retreating form. He wanted to run towards her, hold her hand and bury her head in his chest and apologize and beg for her forgiveness and tell her she was wrong, that he did _want_ to be with her. He reached his arm out, standing up. He opened his mouth, but before words couldn't form - and loud yells were heard outside the tent.

Rosaria and Levi flinched, suddenly aware of the panic in the air. Within seconds, a yell sounds from outside the tent. "Corporal Levi! There's an emergency!" A cadet says. "A scout ship from Marley docked on our shores." The air is knocked out from Rosaria's lungs as she processes the words. She turns her head, watching as Levi's face turns from guilty and torn to something cold and unreadable.

* * *

"How many do we have?" Levi asks, blades drawn out in his hands. A total of five men in white uniforms were kneeling on the ground, hands tied to their backs and surrounded by the entire Scouts squadron currently on base. "The team we captured has five men in total. The others are still onboard the ship at the shore. They're likely waiting for contact from this team." Armin said, looking down at the Marleyan soldiers. "We have to send Eren and destroy their ship. Who knows how many are arriving onshore at this very moment?" Levi grunts.

"No. We can't start a war. This is our first contact with people with Marley. If we talk it out, things could change. They would know we're not island devils-" Levi clicked his tongue. "They sent four titan shifters dressed as kids to our island and killed millions of innocent women and children." Levi answered, glaring at Hanji. "Do you think they'd be up for sitting down over tea and talking about peace at this point, Hanji?" Hanji bit her lip. "After everything's that happened, it's exactly why we can't act rashly and destroy their ship. What kind of message would that be to Marley? We would be exactly the island devils they call us and invite Marley to continue the war with us." Armin said, eyes meeting Levi's. "If there's a chance for negotiation, we have to at least try. Or else more and more people will only die." Levi clicks his tongue.

"I agree with Armin. We have to try. Marley and the world have the wrong idea of us. If we can change that, things can be different." Hanji said. Eren looked at them, a frown on his face. He wasn't interested nor entertained the idea of peace talks. It all seemed _futile_ to him when he knew a glimpse of what the future would be like already. "Then what do you suppose we do? Invite the Marleyans for tea in our humble tent?" Levi asked. He then looked at a blonde man in the middle of the circle, shaking.

"Oi. Blonde Marleyan. You look like you're about to piss yourself." The man flinches, eyes shaking with fear. Levi walks over to him and points his sword in front of the man's face. "The island devils would like to invite you for tea and discuss how we can avoid killing each other. What are your thoughts?" The man gapes, wondering if this would be the last breath he takes. "M-Marleyans don't negotiate with dirty island devils who threaten our entire nation!" Levi clicks his tongue, inching the blade closer to his face. The man squirms.

"You have your answer, Hanji." Levi said. "What's your name?" Rosaria asks, kneeling down to look at the blonde man on the same eye level. He squirms, glancing at Levi's blade still in front of his face. Rosaria grabs the blade and shoves it away, glaring at Levi. "He can't talk with a blade in his face, Corporal." Rosaria taunts. She averts her gaze back to the Marleyan. "We won't hurt you. I promise. My name's Rosaria." Rosaria smiled gently. "Could you tell me your name?" The man glares in suspicion, wondering briefly if this was all a trap. "N-niccolo…" Niccolo answers anyway.

"Nice to meet you, Niccolo. We're Eldians from Paradis. I know you're afraid of us, but don't you think I look like a normal human just like you?" Niccolo wonders the question in his head, agreeing in his head that they all looked normal. "Don't believe what she says, Niccolo! She's an island devil who will devour us like all titans!" A Marleyan soldier yells as he trashes against the restraints. He meets Rosaria's eyes, his eyes filled with hate and disgust. Levi clicks his tongue, anger boiling in his blood. He grabs the soldier by the hair at the back of his head and pulls him up easily to meet his eyes. "You should be careful of your words. I can't bite your head off like a titan but I promise I can stab your eyes from the back of your skull." The soldier flinches, squirming in fear.

Rosaria sighs. "Hanji, we can't talk to them forever. There's still Marleyan soldiers on the ship. Who knows if they've already contacted Marley and are planning an all-out war?" Armin said. Hanji nodded. "But they're so far away, how would they be able to contact Marley?" Sasha asked, dumbfounded. "Judging from this… it looks like it's capable of transmitting messages." Armin holds out a strange looking device with antennas. "It was found on one of the Marleyans. If I press this…" Armin pressed one of the buttons. ' _Alpha team, respond. This is Beta. Requesting response-'_ The device plays the voice and everyone except Armin and Levi flinch. "It's from the soldiers on the ship. They're waiting for a response." Hanji gulped.

"We can't wait any longer." Hanji said. "It's almost been two hours since we captured them." Levi nodded. "Eren, you need to transform and stop them from escaping. Scare them a little." Eren nodded, taking off his gear. "Niccolo, my friend. You'll need to play along, understand? We're not trying to hurt you, you have to trust us." Hanji smiled forcefully, her face inches away from Niccolo's. Niccolo gulped, fear in his eyes. Levi sliced the restraints off Niccolo and aimed the blade behind Niccolo's back. "Try anything funny and I'll make sure you die on Paradis' shores, understand?" Levi threatened. Niccolo squirms.

"Levi squad, get into position by the shore. Rifles in position and do not shoot unless necessary. Jean and Armin, both of you are the brains. Use your professional judgement." Rosaria ordered, throwing the rifles at each one of them. "Squad two and three, follow Levi Squad." The soldiers nodded. "Everyone else, gear up and get ready to protect this base." Rosaria meets Levi's eyes briefly but turns away. "Sacrifice your hearts, soldiers." Rosaria says as she salutes, seeing Levi and the others off.

Rosaria knew for the first time that the peace in Paradis was slowly coming to an end and war was approaching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes:
> 
> We're starting to incorporate more of the actual events in the timeline so expect a bit more action scenes in the lineup. Though it seems we're going off course the LevixRosaria train, rest assured things are set in motion and there will still be a lot of fluff, angst and jealousy in the coming chapters. I personally feel that Levi wouldn't engage in a relationship even if he did love someone, mostly because he keeps losing people and he wouldn't want to grow attached to anyone. I mean look at Erwin, he pushed the love of his life away to Nile. So... let's hope Levi will open up to love slowly with time.
> 
> Didn't get a lot of reviews for the previous chapter despite it being our first mild-NSFW scene chapter so I'm a little disappointed... so please leave a review whenever possible, it means a lot to me :)


	11. The Anti-Marley Volunteers

**Chapter 11**

"Under Zeke Yeager's commands, we shot our superiors. We're the Anti-Marleyan volunteers and our goal is to free _all_ Eldian's." Yelena says, putting down her cup of tea. The words knock the air out of Levi's lungs. He feels the shock running through his veins.

_Zeke?_

Levi clicks his tongue, feeling the anger boiling in his blood. "Oi, big blonde." Levi says, glaring at Yelena. Even as they sat down, she clearly was taller and bigger than Levi by a lot. "You're telling me that shitty ape titan who killed my squad and majority of my comrades… wants to help us?" Levi asked, standing up from his chair. Bloodlust covered Levi's eyes and his body was yearning for blood to be spilt. Yelena met Levi's eyes with no fear. "Call me pessimistic, but I find it hard to believe after the blood on his filthy titan hands." Levi growled. "Levi…. Let's hear them out." Hanji puts a hand on Levi's shoulder, trying to calm him down. "Zeke has always had the interests of Eldians from the start. Even now, he is playing double agent to gain Marley's loyalty and trust from deep within the ranks. Zeke is our hope, of both the Eldians and the people whose countries have been colonized by Marley." Levi scoffed, fingers threatening to punch the teeth out of Yelena.

"I know you find it hard to believe, but it's the truth. Zeke sent us, as part of his plan. He wants peace." Yelena says. "We can't just trust someone who murdered and massacred _thousands_ of our men, Yelena. You have to give us more than that." Hanji said. "Which is why we'll stay here and provide you with Marleyan knowledge, intel and weapons to help Paradis until you can trust us." Levi and Hanji's eyes widened.

"It's the only way for you to eventually trust us, so we will surrender and help Paradis, in any way that we can." Yelena says, glancing at Onyankopon. "What do you say, Hanji?" Hanji and Levi exchange glances, unable to decipher if this was a trap or a blessing in disguise.

* * *

"Corporal's been grumpier than usual." Sasha whispered, peeling a potato. Connie and Jean nodded. "He's usually quite calm as long as we don't piss me off but the other day I handed him my paperwork a _day_ late and he almost chewed my head off." Connie whispered, stirring the pot as he gestured to Sasha. "I understand Corporal getting mad at you idiots, but he even got mad at me! He just looked at my face one morning and said 'Jean, your face reminds me of a horse today." Jean exclaimed, confused and annoyed.

Sasha and Connie laughed. Rosaria continued cutting the potatoes, not giving a response. All three of the younger kids raised an eyebrow and gave each other glances. "Captain, you're quite close with Corporal Levi. Do you know what's bothering him?" Sasha asks. Rosaria blinks, looking up from the chopping board.

_Well, we haven't really talked since our conversation that night so I wouldn't know what's bothering him._

"My guess is Zeke and the Anti-Marley volunteers. I'm sure you guys can agree with Corporal that trusting Zeke is a stab in the back to our dead comrades after all the blood he spilt." Rosaria answered honestly. The Scouts were still deciding how to go about this secret plan of Zeke's and how much they could trust the Anti-Marley volunteers, not to mention the Marley soldiers who were currently locked up behind bars as prisoners.

"Captain Mike and Nanaba died in the hands of Zeke." Connie said, eyes suddenly downcast into the pot of soup. "Not to mention my entire village…. And my mother is still laying on her back as a titan back in our house." Sasha and Jean exchange worried glances. Rosaria was informed that Ragako village was turned into titans during the breach of Wall Rose when Zeke used his spinal fluid to infect the residents of Ragako village. Though the exact method and how it worked wasn't clear.

"All our comrades who died at the battle of Shiganshina and Commander Erwin… Zeke is responsible for their deaths. How can we suddenly be asked to trust that asshole and believe he is here to help us?" Jean yelled angrily. "At least for now, the Anti-Marley soldiers have been cooperative and have quietly agreed to be watched over by the Scouts." Sasha answered.

"They've been pretty cooperative with intel on Marley's military and are helping us with research and technological advancements, especially with our 3DMG and Anti-Personnel gear. They just submitted designs for new uniforms for us too." Rosaria said, placing the chopped potatoes into the soup. "I heard there's a good number of Marleyan chefs and wine onboard. Oh god, I wonder what Marleyan food tastes like." Sasha drooled.

"Hm, having Marleyans work for us sounds like a good idea too. No such thing as a free lunch in this world, right?" Rosaria nodded to herself. Sasha smiled. "I wonder what kind of Marleyan food there is. I bet they eat meat every day-" A kick at the door stops Sasha mid-sentence. "Oi, brats. Who's in charge of laundry? My uniforms are all dirty and crumpled-" Levi growls, voice angry and annoyed until his eyes meet Rosaria's. Rosaria blinks, putting down her knife. "Well?" Levi asked, crossing his arms as he gave a hard look each to Sasha, Connie and Jean.

"I-it's me, Corporal. I-I'll redo the laundry immediately!" Connie admitted, fearful of Levi's intense glare at him. "You better, Connie or I'll make you run laps around the base." Levi replied, annoyed; before his eyes glanced at Rosaria. "Rosaria, in my office now." Levi announced as he swiftly turned his back and walked away. Rosaria blinks, unsure of what to respond. "Don't make me wait, Captain. I don't have all day." She quickly grabs her crutches and chases after Levi.

Levi walks at a fast pace back to the tent of his makeshift office, one he was sharing with Hanji and other higher-ranking members of the Scouts. Levi turns around, noting that there was still a large distance between where he stood and Rosaria, who was dragging herself with the help of her crutch. Rosaria catches Levi's annoying glare and she bites her lip, trying to quicken her pace. She takes bigger steps with each leap, closing the distance between them until her crutches catch on a small pebble on the sandy beach. Rosaria gasps, feeling herself lose balance as she topples over. She closes her eyes, waiting for the impact - but when it doesn't come, she opens her eyes to find familiar grey eyes. Levi catches her in the nick of time, a hand on her waist; and he's suddenly reminded of how small it was, and the other hand on her back.

Their faces were inches apart, breaths touching each other. Neither seems to move as they're suddenly brought back to a trip down memory lane in which their passionate exchange in a carriage took place. It takes a few seconds before Levi pulls her to stand and clears his throat. "Watch where you're going, brat. Do you want to break your ankle again?" Levi asked. Rosaria gulped, holding on to her crutch. "S-sorry…" Levi opens the flap of the tent and holds it up, waiting for Rosaria to go through.

She then walks in, finding it empty. "Oh, Hanji and the others aren't here. Where are they?" Levi pulled the chair out and gestured for Rosaria to sit. She hesitantly sat down, putting her crutch away. "Negotiating with Yelena and the others. They're gathering the notes in preparation for an audience with all of the upper military, and the Queen to discuss this." Rosaria nodded. Levi pushed the chair further in for Rosaria before returning to his own seat and sat down. As the two sit down, an uncomfortable silence ensues and Rosaria finds herself speaking first.

"So… what do you need, Corporal?" Levi narrowed his eyes. "How's your ankle?" Levi asked. "Recovering smoothly. I should be out of my cast in another three weeks and ready for therapy." Levi folded his fingers together and sighed. "With the recent arrival of our friends from Marley, it's likely more scouting ships will be sent to Paradis and things will get even more dangerous from here on." Levi said. He's waiting for a response from Rosaria but she stares back at him, confused - as if saying 'of course I know that, isn't that why I'm here?'. Levi blinks. "As such, as your commanding officer, I'm ordering you to return to HQ until you are fully recovered and ready for battle." Levi says, his face stills neutral.

Rosaria furrows her eyebrows and opens her mouth in shock. "W-what! You can't do that! I-I'm perfectly capable of carrying out my duty right here - where I am needed the most, especially during this uncertain time when all hands are on deck!" Rosaria yelled, clearly disagreeing. Levi was prepared for her reaction and immediately replied. "You can barely protect yourself, Captain. You can't even wear gear and defend yourself if one of the Marleyan decides to attack you. You're clearly a _liability_ to us now." Rosaria takes in an angry breath and slams her fist into the table.

"This is ridiculous. I may not be able to use gear but I am still clearly capable of shooting with a rifle if the need arises!" Levi rolled his eyes. "You can barely stand without a crutch, Rosaria. The enemy would have killed your first before you could even adjust your aim." She bit her lip and glared at Levi. "It's still unreasonable to demand me to go back to HQ when I am needed here! There's still mountains of paperwork and squads to oversee, especially now when you and Hanji are too busy babysitting Marley soldiers and the volunteers!" Levi clicked his tongue.

"That's an order, Rosaria. It's not up for discussion." Rosaria gaped. "Pack your things and prepare the handover to your next-in-command. A carriage will be prepared for you in three days." Levi said. He could see the anger and hurt in Rosaria's eyes. It seemed like it was more and more common for her to look at him with such _pain_ nowadays. Still, Levi didn't back down. His heart didn't waver. He was doing it for her, for her own safety. He didn't mind being hated, all he wanted to do was make sure she was safe - away from harm's way.

"Corporal, please - you can't do this!" Rosaria pleaded, standing up from her chair. Levi grunts, glaring back at her. "Don't behave like a brat, Rosaria. I'm your commanding officer and you obey my orders, understand?" Rosaria wasn't buying his shit. "Oh, so now you decide to act like my commanding officer? What happened to that sense of responsibility when you made out with me in the carriage back to Trost, huh?!" Rosaria yelled. Levi's eyes widened, finding himself at a loss for words.

"This and that are two different things." Levi warned. "Really? Because I think that's bullshit. You're using my injury as an excuse to send me away, aren't you? You're trying to get me transferred now?" Levi's eyes widened, confused. "I never said that, Rosaria. You're misunderstanding the situation." Rosaria scowled, gritting her teeth. "Really? I'm misunderstanding the situation? You're the one who made me believe you were a good person and made me fall in love with you, then you make a move on me and I returned your feelings; and then you just decide to not address things between us and lie to me about how you feel and play the 'romantic feelings are complicated in the military, Rosaria' card. But now you want to suddenly take an interest in my safety here and order me to go back to HQ?" Rosaria scoffed. "What are you trying to play here, Levi? If you're trying to send me away, at least have the balls to tell it to my face." Rosaria threatened.

Levi stood up from his seat, anger boiling in his blood. "That's enough, Rosaria. An order is an order." Levi yelled, meeting her angry glaring eyes. "Pack your things and take your orders like the soldier you are, Captain." Levi walks away, his back now facing her.

"Use that tone on me again, Captain; and I'll make sure I honour your words and actually transfer you out of my sight once and for all." Levi threatens, walking away.

* * *

Rosaria sat in a chair plopped on the soft sand, her toes dipping into the sand and letting the sea brush against her skin as it came and went in waves. It was dark now, the sky now replaced with a dark black hue with tiny sparks of bright stars over the sky. She stared at the stars, feeling the gentle breeze of the sea against her cheeks and the ticklish caress of the sea against her toes.

Rosaria had very much decided that she liked the sea despite having no knowledge of it. It seemed big and vast and unknown, but it brought a sense of adventure and calmness to Rosaria. She loved the gentle breeze of the sea, how it tickled her toes as the waves came and went across the shore. She loved discovering the odd little things along the shore, like these 'seashells' that Armin calls them. She even developed a habit of collecting different ones every time she had the time and placed it in a little glass bottle with sand back in her tent. Recently, they even discovered little _sea-animals_ inside the vast sea, such as little reddish-white creatures with antennas like a cockroach and tiny eyes on top; they were usually the size of her fingers, or reddish creatures with hardened skin like a titan and sharp claws and even _walked_ on shore sometimes before diving right back into the sea.

The memory brings a smile to Rosaria's lips. She remembers Levi glaring at the red creature who so casually walked up to him with its tiny legs and 'clicked' its claws, teasing him. Rosaria had never seen Levi grab his blades so fast before, not even in action - and then proceeding to slice the thing as if the creature was the armoured titan himself. The split-in-half corpse of the creature that caused Levi's face to churn in disgust and pale almost five shades was another sight to behold though. Rosaria made a bet that she was sure Levi excused himself after to puke, away from public eyes. Who would have thought _humanity's strongest_ who didn't even flinch when faced with multiple titan shifters could be afraid of a tiny creature with claws?

"Smiling at the sea in the dark of the night alone, Rosaria?" A voice chirps. Rosaria turns her head, looking up at the source of the voice. "Did you find a funny creature while you were out here? Oh! If only I could capture that red thing with claws and experiment on it! It really intrigued me!" Hanji said, plopping down on the soft sand beside Rosaria. "Levi's face was priceless when he killed it. What money I would pay to see that face again one more time…." Rosaria said, laughing almost. Her voice is filled with giddy and happiness before it slowly dies out, her eyes staring blankly at the sea again. Hanji tilts her head.

"What's wrong? Did one of those tiny reddish finger-like creatures with whiskers and antennas and two small circle eyes on the top bite your toes?" Hanji asked. Rosaria shook her head. "It's not that…. Just…." Rosaria meets Hanji's eyes. "Say, Hanji-san. You've known Levi for a long while now, right?" Hanji laughed. "A long while? I've known him since he was a fresh recruit picked up by Erwin! Scrawny little thing was rude as heck!" Hanji picked up a seashell and casually brushed her fingers along it as she talked.

"Damn, that feels like lightyears ago. Levi was so different then compared to now." Rosaria tilted her head, confused. "How so? Was he less violent than he is now?" Hanji scoffed. "Ugh. Compared to when he first joined, he's like a calm old man in retirement now! He used to pick fights with all his superiors and never obeyed protocol! I was sure he even broke a captain's arm because the captain raised his voice at him." Rosaria laughed, shaking her head. "Well, it's kind of expected after everything he's been through. Levi lost his family after his first expedition after all." Hanji says, eyes suddenly downcast to the sand in memory of Farlan and Isabel.

"He lost two of his friends that he was close to while he was in the Underground. They were like family to him since all of them had been orphans." Rosaria swallowed thickly. "Levi came back alone on his first expedition. Since then, he's sworn to the Scouts and Erwin, trying to find meaning to their deaths and the countless comrades we've lost since then." Hanji sighs, placing the seashell on the sand. "Levi's actually a sensitive soul. He tries to hide it…. But it's pretty obvious if you're close with him. I'm sure you've noticed it too." Rosaria subtly nodded.

"He cares a lot. He doesn't show it… but whenever someone's life is in danger, he doesn't hesitate to jump in and save them. The same goes for when someone dies. It hits him the most because he hates unnecessary deaths and grieves in silence." Hanji stares out at the calm sea. "Which is why he's not suited to be a commander, he's too caring and avoids sacrifices. Erwin's words." Rosaria glances at Hanji. "What about you, Hanji-san?" Hanji turns, raising an eyebrow. "Are you suited to be a commander who can command your men to die and sacrifice their lives?" Hanji's eyes widened. It takes her a few seconds before she smiles.

"No, I don't think I'm suited for being commander either. I'm more of a researcher, that's why I joined the Scouts in the first place. I'm not suited for politics and strategy, although when forced to I can adapt easily to fit that role. Erwin…. Heck, he should have chosen Armin, he's way better at these things than me." Hanji admitted. "Well, I think you're doing a good job leading the Scouts, Hanji-san. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. We've managed to come a long way with your leadership after all." Rosaria replied.

"Well, Levi has to take credit as well. He's the one doing the bulk of the work and scaring the MPs off during meetings so I can put in a few words. Being the only woman at the table has never been easy after all." Rosaria nodded, agreeing. "So…. What's going on between you and Levi? He's been scarier than usual. Trust me, I even got punched by him the other day. Usually, he just grabs me by the collar and threatens me!" Hanji exclaimed.

Rosaria sighed. "I'm not even sure I know what's going on in his head." Rosaria says. Hanji quietly scans Rosaria's calm face. "I can somewhat guess what happened…." The words make Rosaria flinch and she gapes her mouth open. "Like….?" Rosaria paled, unsure what to make of the situation. She had never been scared of fearful of Hanji despite the difference in their ranks, but given the brief _inappropriate_ relationship she had with Levi - Hanji had the right to send Rosaria away to bury things under the rug like usual military scandals. "Hah, don't look so scared! You think I'm going to send you away, don't you? Please! I'd _pay_ for Levi to get laid! You don't know how hard I've been trying to set him up for years now!" Hanji said, rolling her eyes.

Rosaria paled. "W-we never had sex! T-that's different!" Hanji laughed. "So, something along those lines happened then?" Hanji asked. Rosaria sighed. "Kinda…" Hanji nodded. "Then? Why is Levi so grumpy? I imagine he should be smiling like he just received clean bedsheets after getting laid by an actual woman in god knows how many years?" Rosaria coughed. "W-we never had se-" Hanji corrected her. "Okay, then a heated make-out session?" Hanji's question brings a blush to Rosaria's face. Hanji smirks, further confirming her theory.

"Wait, don't tell me he's bad in be-" Rosaria cut her off. "We REALLY didn't have sex!" Rosaria yelled. Hanji laughs, watching Rosaria blush in red. "Okay, I believe you. Don't have to yell it for the entire Scouts to hear!" Rosaria mentally thanked the gods because they were far enough from the tents for anyone to hear her outburst. "Levi's been… distant since then. I tried to talk to him, address things… but he just, apologised and said 'romantic feelings are complicated. Especially in the military.' and he's trying to transfer me away." Hanji gaped. "What?! I don't know about this!" Hanji said. "He ordered me to pack my things and go back to HQ. He's using my injury as an excuse and saying that I'm a liability to the Scouts now because I can't even protect myself."

Hanji calmly processed the words. "Well… it seems like it does make sense since you're still injured and I imagine it's extremely inconvenient and risky to be outside the walls, especially now with the addition of our Marleyan friends and enemies." Rosaria sighed. "But Hanji-san, you have to admit I'm needed here! We're under-handed! Especially people in leadership like me who can take over for you and Levi when both of you are off to negotiate with the Anti-Marley volunteers!" Hanji nodded. "That I cannot deny. Your role and responsibilities are extremely important and a big help to us, even if you cannot fight at the moment." Rosaria nodded furiously. "See! Even though I can't kill a titan at the moment, it doesn't mean I'm a liability right, Hanji-san?" Hanji nodded again. "Yes, and the more I think about it…." Hanji puts a finger on her chin.

_It seems odd and unnecessary for Levi to go through all this trouble for one person. If Rosaria was fatally injured and missing a limb, yes I'd agree sending her back to HQ would be the best choice; but she wasn't. She's injured, yes… but she is still fully capable of shooting a rifle, albeit with bad aim, and it wasn't like we had titans to worry about out here right? And yes the Marley prisoners are a risk, but a low one considering they're all behind bars and the volunteers are constantly being watched closely. In addition, Rosaria is a critical member of the scouts, one who is still valuable even though unfit to fight. Even Erwin fought in the battle of Shiganshina when he lost an arm, didn't he?_

Hanji blinks.

_Didn't Levi try to stop Erwin from leaving by threatening to break both of his legs? Could it be that Levi is… being overprotective here?_

Hanji thought about it over and over again.

_Had Rosaria successfully found a spot in Levi's heart for him to act this way? To go so far as to prioritise her safety before her duties, or even his own duties as Corporal?_

Hanji felt goosebumps down her spine. Was it from happiness or fear, she couldn't tell. Though she did know that Rosaria was more than a subordinate and close friend to Levi now and it was unlikely that _Levi_ himself even knew it.

_But would it be wise to let Rosaria leave and go back to HQ like this? She did say that Levi was trying to have her transferred… but I don't think that's the case._

"You said Levi is trying to have you transferred? That's why he is ordering you to go back to HQ?" Hanji asked. "Yes… I mean, why else? Isn't that what usually happens when a scandal comes out in the military?" Rosaria replied. "Well… yes….but it's not like anyone knows about this. I mean I know about it now but it's not like I'm going to send you away. I'm actually pretty happy that there is proof that Levi isn't _gay_." Hanji admitted. "Don't you think that Levi is sending you away for other reasons….?" Hanji asked.

Rosaria looked dumbfounded. Hanji sighed. Although she was pretty sure she was right, it wasn't really wise for her to spill the beans and let Rosaria hear it from her mouth. Shouldn't this be something that Levi would have to admit himself since it is their business and not Hanji's? "If you think that's the case…." Hanji says. "I do agree and think that we really cannot afford to send you back to HQ during this vulnerable time." Hanji half-lied, smiling. "I'm sorry but your duty as a soldier must really be prioritized here. With you gone, there'd be a gap that no one would be able to fill. You've had years of experience being in leadership in the Garrison and you take care of the cadets really well. We really don't have the time to train anyone else and bring them up to speed like you already are." Hanji explained. "I'll have to _deny_ Levi's orders to you to be sent back to HQ, unfortunately." Rosaria gaped, gripping Hanji's shoulders.

"R-really? Hanji! That's great news!" Hanji laughed. "Yes…. well. I'll explain it to Levi tomorrow morning. He won't be glad about it that's for sure…. Yes, I'll need Jean to be my human shield just in case things get ugly." Hanji's face contorted into concern. "With that said, I am concerned about your health and safety. How much longer till you take off your cast?" Hanji asked. "Three weeks or so." Hanji nodded. "Then, there's therapy…. We do have medics on base but I'm afraid they're not as qualified when it comes to providing aftercare and therapy to an injury like yours. There's still your burns to look at as well." Rosaria blinked. "Ah, what about having a qualified doctor come here? To oversee my therapy. That way Levi would be more willing to let me stay, right?" Hanji processed the words.

"I mean, with proper therapy, I should be able to speed up the healing process and be back in action faster. Then, I'd be able to fight and protect myself and I won't be a liability anymore." Hanji nodded. "Well, that does sound right…. But I'm not sure if I'd be able to find a doctor who would be willing to travel all the way _outside_ the walls for the Scouts." Rosaria smiled. "Ah, I know just the person. He's actually…. overqualified for something like therapy, but he'd be willing to do it for me. In fact, I think he'd be overjoyed. We'd have to ask for a carriage and some soldiers to escort him to our base here though." Rosaria said. "That should be easy to arrange. I'm sure the Scouts back in HQ would be thrilled for a little adventure instead of routine work." Hanji stood up and stretched her back.

"I guess that's settled then. I'll prepare the paperwork for the necessary arrangements first thing in the morning… after I have that conversation with Levi." Hanji was not looking forward to being punched by Levi at all. "Yes, thank you Hanji-san." Rosaria nodded. "By the way, who's this doctor that'd be so willing to help you?" Rosaria tapped a finger on her chin. "Ah, he's an important childhood friend. We're practically family. You might know him, he's a well-known doctor in Wall Sina." Hanji blinked.

"Well, I look forward to meeting him in person then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been taking some time to sit down and think about the ending of this story. I was going to wait until the final chapter of the manga to see if Levi survives, but knowing Isayama…. He's gonna kill off all our favourite characters *cries*. I've also been reading a lot of fan theories and rumoured leaks of the ending and I still have no idea what Isayama has planned as usual. In my head, If Levi was alive I'd give this story a happy ending; but if he's dead... I have to give it a sad ending and my heart is fighting with my head. I'll be going back to my excel sheet and rearrange my notes now :')
> 
> As always, please leave a review as it keeps me motivated!


	12. The Green Cloak pt.2

**Chapter 12**

Jean narrowly avoided the teapot that was thrown in his _face_ as he shielded Hanji. "Levi! You almost _broke_ Jean's face!" Hanji yelled from behind Jean. Levi grunted, eyes glancing across Jean's scared face and then the broken teapot on the ground. "You're right, I fucking missed." Levi said through gritted teeth. "Levi, do you even hear yourself?! Just calm down!" Hanji yelled, grabbing Jean's shoulders as she moved the taller man like her makeshift shield. "Calm down? You're going against my orders to keep _my_ subordinate safe when she can't even fucking walk!" Levi growled.

He was furious. More so than he had ever been with Hanji. Levi knew he really shouldn't be acting this way with his own commanding officer, even if it was Hanji and she deserves all the slurs and threats Levi has given her; but gods - he was so fucking pissed. Bad enough that Rosaria thinks that Levi was trying to transfer her and send her away after his stupid and selfish behaviour, now she let Hanji in on this and she wasn't letting Levi have his way and actually try to keep an injured, defenceless soldier _safe_.

"She's a soldier first, Levi. Don't bring your personal feelings into this." Hanji threatened. "It may not seem like it but I'm in full support of _anyone_ having feelings for you, even if they are your subordinate." Hanji started. Jean raised an eyebrow, suddenly confused. "But you cannot deny that she's an important asset right now, regardless if she has a broken ankle or not. We need someone in leadership to oversee this entire base and all of the soldiers when you or me are busy with the volunteers and Rosaria is the only person who fits that role." Levi clicked his tongue. "Yes, she's injured. Yes, she cannot protect herself and I understand your concerns and want to send her back to HQ. But I've already made preparations and a real doctor will be coming to oversee her therapy and make sure she recovers on track!" Levi slammed his fist on the table.

"Don't you play with the life of my injured subordinate, Hanji." Levi yelled. "I saw her lifeless and bleeding to death in that forest in Trost after Samuel's little mishap. I do not take my subordinates' life lightly at all." Hanji swallowed, watching Levi's eyes turn a cold and steely grey. "I am her commanding officer and I deem it too much of a risk for her to stay here when we have Marley prisoners locked up and Volunteers who follow that asshole Zeke and will stab us in the back when the time is right." Levi walked up to Hanji, his eyes glaring into hers with anger and rage. "Who knows if this is all a plan from Marley? Maybe they even sneaked a titan shifter among the volunteers and are waiting to kill us all when we sleep in our tents? We all know how sneaky these bastards are. Do you really think this is a low threat, Hanji?" Jean sighed, feeling the weight of Levi's words. Jean too was cautious of the volunteers, it all seemed too good to be true to suddenly have _allies_ when the entire world is scared of Paradis.

Hanji sighed. "Yes, they are risks. Very real risks. And I'm not trying to downplay the severity of the situation we're in. But Rosaria swore to the Scouts and she's a full-fledged Captain who can handle those _risks_. Do not question me any further, Levi. I've already made up my mind and that's an order." Hanji said. She rarely tried to go against Levi and play the 'commander card', but it was the only way to get her point across and force Levi into submission.

Levi clicked his tongue, grabbing Hanji's collar and glared into her eyes with a scowl. Jean stepped in, grabbing Levi's wrists and trying to pull him away. Jean eventually manages to pull Levi away with much struggle and earns a glare strong enough to slice titans in half from Levi and shivers almost immediately. "Out of my way, horse face." Levi growls. Jean sighs, stepping aside. Hanji tenses, expecting Levi to punch her but instead, he storms out of the tent. Jean sighs in relief, tumbling to his knees on the ground.

Hanji sighs too, watching the space that Levi had just stood seconds ago. "I know you're mad, Levi… but I'm doing this for you. You'll thank me one day, or at least I hope." Hanji whispered.

* * *

Rosaria tensed, leaning against the wall as she watched Levi sit in the chair and quietly sip his tea. It was earl grey, and the elegant aroma of the tea leaves caressed Rosaria's nose. Levi looked at Rosaria who was sitting across him from the table. "What are you being shy for, brat? You've been staring at my teacup for five minutes now." Levi growled impatiently. Rosaria closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She was thoroughly embarrassed now and contemplated lying and saying _she didn't want the tea_ , but Levi would definitely see through that lie and it would just cost more damage to her pride.

Levi clicked his tongue and grabbed the empty teacup from the other end of the table. He then takes the teapot and tilts it, watching the reddish-brown liquid pour out from the opening and filling the teacup slowly. He then pushes the teacup towards Rosaria, raising an eyebrow. "What? Can't even pour yourself tea now?" Levi asked. Rosaria slowly grabbed the teacup and brought it to her lips.

"T-thank you." Levi seems to calm down and stops teasing her after hearing the satisfactory words from her mouth. Rosaria sips the tea, letting the warm liquid calm her down. A few silent minutes pass by before words are heard outside the tent. "Corporal, the doctor has arrived." Rosaria's eyes brighten at the words and stands up. "Let him in." Levi says, still seated comfortably in his chair.

A man with short brunette hair and big, bright blue eyes enter. He was dressed in clean, pristine clothing and had a long khaki-coloured coat draped over his tall, slender body. The man enters and meets Levi's cold eyes first, before shifting around the room and meeting Rosaria's warm eyes. "Rose!" The man greets, putting down his heavy bag and opening his arms as he rushes towards her. Rosaria is picked up into the air by the tall man before her face is crushed in his chest. Levi grunted, suddenly feeling angry.

_Rose?_

"Ronnie! It's been so long!" Rosaria said, giving the man a hug. He gives a good scan of her from head to toe and gives a disapproving look. "Rose… are those burns scars I see?" Rosaria licks her lips nervously. "You have a sharp eye as usual don't you, Ronnie? It seems like you know my body more than I do." Levi clicks his tongue. He stands up from his seat and gives a cold glare towards the doctor.

"I didn't know you were on friendly terms with your new doctor, Rosaria. Care to explain?" Levi asked. "Ah… this is Ronnie Lang. He's a certified doctor in Wall Sina and he has his own practice. We're friends." Rosaria explained. The man smiles at Levi. "Actually, it's Rosaria's clinic; she just left me to take over after she so rebelliously left for the military years ago." Levi raised an eyebrow at Rosaria. "My father owned a medical practice in Wall Sina when he was still alive. He tried to make me take over the practice and sent me to medical school. That's where I met Ronnie." Ronnie laughed. "And then you decided to play the rebellious daughter and ran away to join the military. And got engaged. A beautiful and cliched love story, isn't it?" Rosaria blushed.

"And one that ended in tragedy." Rosaria replied. Ronnie looks at Rosaria, wondering if something shifts in those warm emerald green eyes of hers but he finds nothing. "You don't have to spill the beans on my entire childhood you know, Ronnie. Corporal's a busy man and has way more important things to worry about." Levi grunted. "Ah yes, where were my manners. Nice to meet you, Corporal Levi." Ronnie smiled and reached a hand out to Levi. Levi narrowed his eyes before briefly taking his hand and shaking it with all the strength he had. "Can't say the feeling's mutual." Levi threatened. "Right, let's get down to business, shall we? I'm sure the ride was long and unfamiliar. Tea?" Rosaria asked.

Ronnie nodded. "I've been briefed that I'll be expected to stay for two days every week to oversee your therapy, and any related after-care to your injuries." Rosaria nodded, pushing the teacup to Ronnie. "Though I wasn't informed on how you sustained the injuries, since they told me it was classified information." Levi leaned back in his chair. "Some brat on her team made a mistake that almost cost her life. It's a miracle you're still talking to her, doctor." Levi said, sipping his tea. Ronnie stared at Rosaria with a disapproving frown. "Comes with the job, Ronnie. Don't give me that look." Levi raised an eyebrow.

"Every time I see you it seems the more battered and bruised you are, Rose. I… worry." Levi narrows his eyes at the young man. He was probably the same age as Rosaria, younger even. "Don't be. You know perfectly well I can take care of myself." Rosaria confidently replies. "Long story short, it was a training accident. I've sustained a broken ankle and broken ribs - both of which are healing just fine. The burns scars… are healing as well, slower than I'd like, unfortunately." She hands some papers and files over to Ronnie. "...You've been applying a homemade blend of mugwort and tea tree for the burns?" Ronnie asked as he scanned the papers. Rosaria nodded.

"Looks like you still remember the things they taught us at medical school." Ronnie replied. "Medical school?" Levi asked. He roughly remembers Rosaria saying that her father owned a medical practice and she learned a thing or two, likely from the time she gave him a massage and expertly saw through his minor injuries. Though, Levi doesn't remember anything about medical school. "I was briefly enrolled. Before I joined the military. It's where I picked up my excellent ability to sew stitches. Comes in handy in the Scouts, doesn't it?" Rosaria replied.

"Right…." Levi answers. Something didn't sit right with him. He was fairly close with Rosaria, more so than anyone in his life. Yet, there were so many things he didn't know about her. In fact, Rosaria knew a lot about Levi that most people wouldn't know. His favourite teas, his favourite detergent, bits and pieces of the people he lost. Levi sat still in his chair, watching her interact with her childhood friend. They looked comfortable despite not having seen each other in very long. They look close, happy even. Levi wondered if they were lovers once, or even now. It would be none of Levi's business and he shouldn't even be bothered by his subordinates' personal affairs; she was still young and beautiful after all. Levi imagined there must be a lot of suitors who have asked for her hand in marriage. The thought of her tucked safely away behind Wall Sina and holding another man's arm popped into Levi's mind. A loving husband, a simple life behind the walls, away from the blood and death on the front lines. She'd be happy and safe, but Levi would never see Rosaria's beautiful face or her smile or enjoy the tea she would brew… ever again.

That thought… drew a bitter taste in Levi's mouth.

* * *

"How does it feel?" Ronnie asked, looking down at Rosaria. Rosaria tilted her head and focused her strength on her now cast-free ankle, but it didn't move. "Feels like a heavy brick. I can't even move my toes." Rosaria replied. Levi had left shortly after to attend to business with a grim and sour face, more so than usual; which left Rosaria and her childhood friend alone in the tent to catch up. "That's normal. Blood circulation should come back in about 24 hours." Ronnie said, putting away some papers. "Then once you're able to move and feel your leg normally, we move on to therapy. You'll need to slowly build your muscles that were dormant for very long…" Rosaria sighed. "How long do you think it would be until I can wear my gear again?" She asked, eyes filled with determination.

"While most girls would be worried about the scars and injuries they've sustained, you're eager to return to the front lines. Seems like you haven't changed… Rose." Ronnie said. "Well…. I'm sworn to my duty as a soldier." Rosaria crossed her arms and looked up at the taller man. Ronnie looks down at his childhood friend, a wave of memories come flashing through his mind. "Even if he is no longer here?" Ronnie asks boldly. Rosaria's eyes widened. She shifts uncomfortably in her seat. She knows who exactly Ronnie is referring to and it draws a bitter taste in her mouth.

Rosaria turns her back to Ronnie, fingers trailing her collarbone as she searches for the familiar silver necklace. "Yes." Rosaria replies, finding the simple silver ring attached to her necklace. She fumbles it in her fingers and caresses the familiar band. "I will give meaning to his death, even if it results in mine." Rosaria says, eyes shifting an icy cold green that Ronnie had rarely seen. Ronnie kneels down to meet Rosaria's eye level.

"Rose…" Ronnie holds Rosaria's fingers in his bigger hands. Rosaria looks down, wondering to herself that Ronnie's hands were smooth and signalled a life of peace, while her own was calloused and scared and tainted with blood that would never be washed off. "You know there's always another path in life. You don't have to throw your life away like this." Ronnie pleads in a quiet whisper. Rosaria doesn't speak, she just stares at her childhood friend. "You know I'm always here, waiting for you." Ronnie says, stroking her thumb with his own.

"If you ever decide to leave this life, understand that I'll welcome you with open arms." Ronnie says with a determined voice. "Ronnie…." Rosaria whispers. "I don't need an answer. It's an indefinite offer, Rose. One that's been offered even before you left for the military." Ronnie gets up and moves the papers back into his bag. "All you have to do is accept it."

Rosaria closes her eyes and sighs.

* * *

"Corporal. It's Ro-" The flap of the tent zips open before Rosaria can finish her sentence. She's greeted by a shirtless Levi who gives a bored nod before returning back to his table. Rosaria hesitantly enters, limping behind Levi as she holds her crutches. Rosaria's eyes roam hungrily around the curves and scars of Levi's back, every protrude of his bones and veins and battle scars enticing her to brush her fingers against it. "How's your ankle?" Levi breaks Rosaria's thoughts. "I-it's good. The feeling hasn't completely returned yet so I still need crutches." Rosaria stutters.

Levi raises an eyebrow. He turns, leaning against his table as Rosaria blushes, having a full view of Levi's abs. "I assume you're having a _wonderful_ time catching up with that doctor friend of yours, huh?" Levi said through gritted teeth. "Oh… Yeah. It's been a while since we last saw each other after all." Rosaria replied honestly. Levi felt a twitch in his blood and turned his back towards her. "I see." Levi said. Levi unfolds the stack of clothes on his desk and straightens them out.

"Oh, have the new uniforms arrived?" Rosaria asks. Levi lets his fingers brush through the odd material of their new uniforms. "They just did this morning. Hanji asked me to be the guinea pig and give my thoughts on this brainchild of hers and the volunteers." Levi grimaced. "You mean Onyankopon, he has a name and he's actually really nice. Can't say the same for Yelena though… She gives me a bad vibe." Levi nodded. "Big blonde tops the list of people I don't trust, right behind Zeke Yeager." Levi says as he puts the black skin-tight uniform over his head. The material stretches and outlines every curve and taut muscle in Levi's biceps and abs. "Oh, you have it on the other way…." Rosaria finds herself adjusting the uniform and her fingers brush against Levi's cold skin. She adjusts the thing until it hugs Levi's body comfortably and gives a satisfied nod.

"How does it feel?" Rosaria asks. "A little tight. Especially the biceps." Levi says as he flexes the muscles on his biceps. "It's stretchable. It'll loosen up after a few uses." Rosaria says. "Where's your gear? I'll help you put it on." Rosaria said. Levi points to the chunk of metal over at the edge of the table. "With the new uniforms, the way we put on our gear is different as well." Rosaria explains. She was in charge of overseeing the new designs of the uniform and gears after the volunteers kindly offered an upgrade and knew perfectly well how it worked. "The metal plates on the chest go on first…." Levi finds her soothing voice relaxing as her gentle fingers work on touching his torso. "Then there's the straps that go here and here… then the…." Levi found his eyes following her every small movement. The brush of her fingertips against the thin material of his uniform. The feel of her fingers as it pressed into the curve of his spine as she tightened the straps. Then her eyes, calm and focused but often meets his cold, steely ones in brief glances.

Rosaria casually kneels down, her hands on the straps on Levi's thigh. "Oi, you shouldn't kneel. Your ankle is still-" "It's fine, Corporal. It doesn't hurt anymore. This strap here is a little loose… You need to…" Her fingers brush the thin and stretchable material of his pants in gentle strokes. Levi feels a shudder down his spine as he looks down at her, watching her in a dangerously enticing position that Levi had no doubt imagined several times in his head before. He gulped. "...It's this new quick dry-fit material that dries easily. Smells better too since we sweat a lot." Rosaria said, looking up at Levi. She places a hand on Levi's right thigh. "This is where the blades go now, but it's vertical instead of horizontal. Easier to sit down as well even with the blade box." Her fingers then land on his wrist and the other on his thigh as she tries to get up.

Levi pulls her gently, his hand placed on her back and the other on her thigh. Their noses touch and their eyes meet for a brief second before Levi clears his throat. "This is where thunder blades go…" Levi feels her draw a circle on his arm. He then feels a tingle at his throat when she adjusts the material of the uniform on Levi's neck. "Hm, I like this turtleneck design. It looks good on you, Corporal. Accentuates your broad shoulders and neck." Rosaria says. "Though it feels like something is…. _Missing_." Rosaria says.

Levi looks at himself and tilts his head. "The cloak." Levi says. He grabs his old one from a drawer and puts in on, clasping the button together. Rosaria takes a good look and shakes her head. "The green stands out too much. The whole idea of the new uniform is to blend in discreetly and not attract attention since we're fighting against intellect humans and titans, not pure titans anymore." Levi frowned. "No. The cloak stays on." Rosaria raised an eyebrow. "I think most would agree with me that the cloak is unnecessary. The scout's insignia is clearly seen on the breastplate…. And the green stands out too much." Levi fumbles with the soft material of the cloak, tattered and worn in odd places. He remembers the meaning of this cloak, how it was handed to him with Isabel and Farlan before their first expedition. This cloak, the cloak of humanity's freedom - weighs heavily on Levi's shoulder. With each death of his comrade, the weight of the cloak turns heavier and heavier. To Levi, the cloak is an embodiment of his dead comrades, that they are still here with him, fighting with him, lending him their strength.

"No. It stays. This cloak… carries the lives of our dead comrades. It symbolizes our cause, our fight for humanity's freedom. Our comrades died for this cloak, and so will I." Levi's words are firm. Rosaria licks her lips, meeting Levi's eyes. She finds something shifting in them and she curiously wonders what it is. "Levi….." Rosaria whispers hesitantly. She finds herself lost in his eyes, tired from countless battles, drained from seeing countless comrades die before him, guilt-ridden from watching the people he valued the most torn to shreds and unable to save them. She's reminded of the words from Levi's mouth when he was having a nightmare - the names of his dead comrades, Zeke, Erwin, Petra…

_How heavy those shoulders of his must be to carry the weight of so many deaths._

Her hands brush against his, static pulsing through their skin. Levi finds his hands itching to touch her, her milky soft skin, her luxurious blonde hair, her small waist - but he stills his discipline and clearly remembers the consequences of his actions. "Do you hate me, Rosaria?" Levi finds himself asking. The question surprises even himself, but it's too late to take it back now. Rosaria's eyes widened. She thinks about it for a while. "No, I don't." She replies. She doesn't meet his gaze. "I intend to keep my end of the bargain and pretend that it never happened." Rosaria says, stepping away from Levi. Levi finds his throat especially hoarse, as if there were many words he wanted to say but couldn't. "I hope you can keep your end of it and try not to send me away again." Levi sighs and crosses his arms. "That's not what I intended, Rosaria."

Rosaria gulps. "Then why?" Levi shakes his head. "You're injured! You can't protect yourself! If a titan-shifter is hidden in the volunteers and attacks us, you'd be the first one to die!" Levi found himself yelling. Rosaria hesitantly meets his eyes. "I can protect mysel-" Levi reached forward and grabbed her shoulders, his fingernails digging into her skin. "No, you can't. You don't know what war looks like. You've never faced a titan shifter and their abilities. How easy it is to _die_ like a toy in their hands." Levi says through gritted teeth. Rosaria scowled and clenched her fists. "I know I lack actual combat experience with titans and titan shifters but don't you dare undermine my abilities to lead and throw my life away for this cause when the time comes, Levi!" Rosaria yelled, hurt and anger in her voice.

"I don't doubt your ability to be a soldier, Rosaria." Levi growled, his fingers clenching her shoulders. "Then why are you so obsessed with sending me away, Levi?" Rosaria asks. Levi opens his mouth but no words form.

Levi thinks it over in his head. Why is he so obsessed with sending Rosaria back to HQ, out of reach of threats and enemies from Marley? Is it purely just his responsibility as a commanding officer to _protect_ his subordinate? Was it that simple? Could Levi say with confidence that _romantic_ feelings really had no part in his choices and actions?

"Why do you push me away, Levi? If you really reject me and my feelings… Can't you just say it to my face? Do you know how confusing it is for me?" Levi swallows, his grip on her shoulders lessen. Levi's face darkens, his eyes clouded with a darkness that only showed when he saw the corpses of his comrades. His eyes meet Rosaria's green eyes and Rosaria's lips tremble. She's never seen that face on Levi before; one of despair, devoid of hope - as if he had to bury all his emotions deep underneath a boulder he called his heart and hope to become the stone-cold corporal everyone envisions him to be.

"Rosaria." Levi's voice is husky and deep. "Listen closely, I won't repeat it twice." Rosaria's voice trembles. "I'm not the person you think I am. I'm cold and ruthless and a stone-cold killer. I've tortured others. I've violently hacked others to pieces. The person you see me as is a lie." Levi's voice is cold as ice. "Throw away your feelings for me." Rosaria stares into blank, cold grey eyes that she once thought were beautiful and warm under the sunlight. "I can never return those feelings." Levi's voice is hoarse as if his throat was burning. "It's for your own good to discard those feelings now... Because when I die, all you will feel is regret and hurt and pain. You'll wish you never felt any attachment. You'll be forced to suffer in grief, alone." Rosaria gasps, choking in a cry. "You've experienced it once before, haven't you? Tell me, has that pain faded completely?"

Rosaria stills, her mind blank. "That ring on your neck…" Levi points out to the shimmery silver object on her collarbone. He remembers looking at it several times when he was carrying her naked body to the bathroom. He remembers staring at it when she had to change her clothes in front of him. He didn't know what that ring meant until the doctor friend of hers decided to blabber about her engagement; only then did Levi finally understand. "It's your dead fiance's, isn't it?" Levi says. Rosaria's mouth trembles.

"Do you really think you're ready to love again, Rosaria? After having him _eaten_ in front of your eyes by a titan?" Tears fell from Rosaria's eyes, her breathing rapid as she clenched her fists. She stays silent for a few minutes, biting her lower lip till blood drips down from her mouth. Levi is utterly unprepared when he feels a sting of pain on his left cheek as Rosaria slapped him hard across the face. Levi doesn't flinch. He expects to feel anger, but all he feels is sadness and guilt. In fact, he hopes the pain lingers as punishment for his words against the woman in front of him.

Rosaria's eyes are red and tired as they glare at Levi with anger and hurt. "For humanity's strongest, you sure are a _coward,_ Levi." Rosaria says through gritted teeth. "You can deny my feelings, push me away, pretend you don't feel anything and hide your emotions like the veteran soldier you are… but don't drag my dead fiance into this." Rosaria warns. "I understand your feelings, your fear…. That you don't want attachment. Hell, you think I don't know we're putting our lives on the front lines of this war and there's no guarantee we'll see tomorrow?" Levi lowers his head. "But that doesn't mean you get to use my dead fiance as an excuse for your inability to return my feelings. Don't manipulate my grief and pain and turn it into your weapon. Don't put words in my mouth and pretend you know what I feel." Levi swallowed.

"You asked me if I was prepared to love again after seeing my fiance eaten to bits in front of my eyes six years ago?" Rosaria grabs Levi's neck and pushes his face to meet her eyes, so close that their noses touch. "Let me make it clear to you, Levi Ackerman." Levi feels her fingers dig into the skin of his throat through the uniform. "If I knew you were going to die in the hands of a titan tomorrow, I'd still love you. I'd still choose you." Levi watched Rosaria's eyes tremble with anger. "I'd kiss you right here, right now and fuck you till our bodies no longer can." Levi's eyes widen. "Then even when the sun comes up and I know you will die, I will grab your blades and uniform and help you put them on. Then, I'll see you off at death's door with a heavy heart." Rosaria felt the tears at the edge of her eyes.

"Does that make it clear, Levi?" Rosaria asks. "Do my feelings still look like a joke to you?" Levi gulped. Rosaria loosens her grip and lets Levi go. She watches him carefully, taking in his expression before she turns her head and walks away. Levi sighed and punched his table, feeling the blisters of his skin as the wood broke in splinters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating with a heavy heart as I just read Chapter 138 of the manga and watched the latest episode of the anime. I don't want the next episode to happen… it's gonna break my heart watching Levi in pain. Anyways, is anyone here obsessed with attack on titan tiktok because my fyp is filled with tiktoks of Levi seductively saying "Kamona '' and fanarts of him shirtless. Nope? Just me? Alright then…. *laughs in thirsty*
> 
> As always, please leave a review!


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